


Backstage Romantics

by Ritsy



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Acting, Alternate Universe, Antagonism, Derogatory Language, Harassment, Love/Hate, M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-01-17 07:14:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 56,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1378576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ritsy/pseuds/Ritsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Ciel, 19 years old and freshly graduated, is an aspiring actor. He lands the starring role for the upcoming TV series "Black Butler". But working with a somewhat well-known Sebastian proves to be quite the daunting task. With his refusal to submit to Sebastian's whims, he has ensared himself within the older male's interest. Will he be able to deter Sebastian's advances, or will he submit to him in the end?Fluff, lemon.<br/>IMPORTANT: I changed a bit of Act 3, so go reread it, and tell me what you think!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Act I

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own kuroshitsuji or any of the characters; all are copyrighted to Yana Toboso.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own kuroshitsuji or any of it's characters. All are credited to Yana Toboso-sensei. The only thing I own is this story.

 **Warnings:** Vulgar language, offensive slang/slurs.

* * *

**Backstage Romantics**

**Act I  
**

The small study was dimly lit by a bright computer screen; silence was thick, save for the clicking of keys and heavy sighs that left the lips of the sole occupant. Empty boxes were broken down, tossed haphazardly into a pile next to precariously stacked boxes, still to be unpacked, sitting in a corner. Several shelves were filled with books, titles and genres of all sorts, in no particular order; the weight of the books seemed to be almost too much for the shelves, for they sagged in the center, threatening to collapse at any moment. The study was sparsely decorated, few picture frames resting on a desk pushed up against the back wall where the monitor sat, a soft thrumming noise coming from within it. A coffee mug with kittens painted on the side of it perched innocently near the edge of the desk, threatening to fall at the slightest hint of movement. A leather computer chair rested in front of it, and were you to stand behind the chair, it would appear empty. This was not so; perched low in the seat was a young male, his legs crossed upon the seat cushion in front of him. One dainty porcelain hand lifted up and reached for the coffee mug, fingers trailing over the images before wrapping around the handle. The male lifted the cup to his lips, sipping the lukewarm coffee in distaste. Another heavy sigh left him as he leaned his head back, eyes complaining from staring at such a bright screen while surrounded in darkness for so long. Blae hair shifted as his head moved, silky tendrils sliding out of his heart-shaped face as royal blue eyes fluttered closed to give them a much needed rest. His lush, full lips were parted slightly, though he breathed silently through his nose. His slender frame barely sank into the plush cushions of his seat, and the dim light from the monitor screen washed out his already porcelain pale skin. The male almost looked as if he were a ghost, worn out and weary.

"I hate this," he groaned, clutching onto the mug with one hand and pinching the bridge of his nose with the thumb and forefinger of his other. One leg slinked down, his toes barely able to graze the ground as he spun his body away from the monitor, it's soft humming becoming the constant buzzing of angry bees in his ears: entirely unwelcome and extremely unpleasant. Another whine left his throat, his shoulders sagging in defeat as his cellphone chimed. Knowing who it would be and dreading what they had to say, he lifted the phone slowly, as if it weighed a thousand pounds. He pushed the talk button, pressing the phone to his ear as he licked his lips. "Hello, mother."

"Have you applied to any colleges yet?" The woman's tone of voice was stern, as if she already knew the answer. The young male blanched, wrinkling his nose in resentment.

"'Hello, son, it's so great to hear from you. I miss you already, how have you been?' Oh, quite well mother, thank you for caring." He mimicked his mother's voice perfectly. "That's what you're _supposed_ to say."

"Ciel, do not sass your mother," a male's voice scolded, and Ciel sighed heavily. _She has me on speakerphone, the witch,_ he thought with mild unhappiness. It should have come as no surprise to the young man; his mother _always_ had to have the back up of her husband.

"Hello, father."

"Skip the pleasantries and answer my question, Ciel," his mother said severely.

With a roll of his eyes, he stared at the ceiling as he answered her question in a monotone voice. "No mother, I have not yet applied to any colleges. I'm still browsing through the immeasurable amount that you and daddy dearest have selected for me." He pursed his lips and blew his bangs out of his eyes. "I do have options other than college..."

This remark brought harsh laughter from his parents. "What, getting hired as the starring role in some production that will shoot you into instantaneous fame? You aren't five anymore, Ciel. It's time to let those childish wishes die."

"It could happen, you know," Ciel practically spat through clenched teeth. "You both know of my exceptional acting skills-"

"Yes, the infamous 'skills' that you're always going on about. Where have they gotten you in your month out of high school? _Nowhere,"_ his father rudely mocked him.

"Just give me a month, _please._ Just one more month to find a job, any job," Ciel begged, clutching tighter to his coffee mug's handle until his knuckles turned white.

Snickering, his mother conceded. "Fine, one month, Ciel. But that is it. If you do not land any roles for plays, or other such nonsense, you will be applying to colleges. So help me, if you do not, your father and I will disown your ass and block your access to your trust fund faster than you can say "will suck dick for food". And before you go whining about your trust find, let me remind you just _who_ that money _truly_ belongs to: your father and I."

Pressing his lips into a thin line in an attempt to control the rising anger, he huffed out "...you guys are dicks. You suck the joy right out of everyone around you."

"What was that, son? You want to lower your time limit to one week?" His father asked snidely.

" _Fine!_ Fine, you win. I swear that I'll do exactly as you say if I fail. Are you fucking happy?" Ciel grit his teeth and narrowed his eyes; his parents were lucky that they were nowhere in the vicinity of his person, or else he might start hurling objects at them. _Or maybe throttling them... That sounds much more pleasant..._

"I'm glad you see things our way, son. It would bring shame on our family name if our child were to become a talentless bum, barely scraping by." His father sounded pleased with himself, and his wife interjected in a falsey cheery voice.

"This was the best option, really," she chirped, before her voice became hard as stone. "So get your shit together."

Without bothering so much as to acknowledge their _loving_ words, Ciel hung up his phone, hand falling limply to his side. His left leg curled snugly under his right thigh as his foot dangled a few inches above the floor. He brought the mug up to his lips and slammed back the now cold coffee as though he were taking a shot. _If only_ , he thought with bitter amusement. With a sigh, he turned his chair back around to face his computer screen, starting to once again peruse colleges and the courses they had to offer. Reaching into his sweater pocket, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, shaking one out and placing it between waiting lips. The flick of a lighter was soon to follow and he took a deep drag as his eyes settled on a subpar maths course.

"This one is bullshit. And, oh look! This one is _also_ bullshit. I never knew that colleges could get away with packing so much bullshit into their sites. When would I even use... 'Street-fighting Mathematics?' What the actual fuck is that even?" He frowned at the screen before pulling up another college website. "Those evil bastards I call parents are _really_ pushing for this one... Why-" he paused in his speech, eyes catching on the several medical courses and majors listed. "Ah, they want me to be a doctor." A snigger escaped his lips, and soon full blown laughter was rolling out from deep within and echoing off the walls. " _Me?_ A DOCTOR. HA! Me, a motherfucking doctor, really? _Really guys?_ Holy fuck." His sides began to hurt from the force of his laughter and he clutched onto himself, gasping for air. His cigarette, long forgotten, was now just a line of unlit ash, and the trembling of his hands caused it to slip through his fingers. All attempts at trying to calm his laughter down were smothered each and every time he looked up at the screen. "You've got... to be... _kidding_ me..." he choked out between fits of laughter.

* * *

The streets were busy, which came as a surprise to the thin blond male darting through traffic, his lithe body dodging all obstacles. Thigh high boots barely made a sound as his featherlight steps led him across an intersection. "It's so _early._ What the fuck is wrong with all these people? I mean, really, _traffic_ , at 9 in the fucking morning?" He shook his head, blond locks cascading around his face. He winced as the noise of honking horns beat against the cool morning air. Irritation seeped into him and he sucked in a deep breath. "Oh yes, hurry on to your destinations, others better get the fuck out of your way because you don't want to be late for the JOBS YOU HATE!" He yelled into the air, a few passersby stopping to give him strange looks. He simply raised his hand and flipped the world off, uncaring of how many people he was offending.

"Don't look at him, Mary. He's a bad seed. Don't associate with the likes of him." A mother whispered frantically to her child.

The male's azure orbs lazily scanned the woman, spotting that she wore no wedding band and that her clothes were what one could consider sexy, fitting her form to a T. A cruel smirk twisted his lips as dark amusement flashed in his eyes. "Oh yes, and bringing home countless men that you fuck while your daughter _may or may not_ be sleeping must be setting such a _wonderful_ example for her already."

The woman's face flushed and she hissed "asshole" at him before rushing her daughter away. He could hear the innocent girl asking what fuck meant, and it made a laugh burst from his lips.

"Ah, my gods, that was perfect. My day equals fucking _made_. Might as well take my happy ass back to bed-Oh, except I can't." The blonde frowned, his pouty lips curling down attractively before the sweetest smile overtook them. "I'm going to see Ciel~." And with that, all his anger washed away and was replaced with a mischievous joy.

After recalling his plans, the bipolar blonde began merrily bounding to his target's new apartment. Dodging several cars and even more people-most of which shouted curses at him for almost bumping into them-he finally made it to the complex. "Such lovely buildings, really. Lucky bastard and his trust fund." The male headed over to the correct building, sprinting up three flights of stairs until he skidded to a stop on the correct floor. His eyes scanned over the numbers on the doors as he slowly made his way down the hall, stopping in front of a red one labeled '317A'. He scoffed, the numbers on the gaudy door reminding him of trashy motels.

He reached out his hand, slim fingers playfully brushing over the doorhandle as he gave it a testing twist. "Ah, unlocked! Ooh, Ciel, you trusting slut."

Silently, he pushed the door ajar and stepped inside, careful to be as silent as was possible for the blonde. Shutting the door with a soft _click_ , he spun around in shock at the sudden sound of peeling laughter. His hands clutched at his heart and his eyes widened, darting around as if expecting a maniac to jump out at him. After calming down and realising that the laughter, while somewhat _unstable,_ sounded like Ciel's, he shook his head. He made his way to the study door, which had been left cracked open. Peeking inside the room, he noticed the blae-haired male doubled over in his seat. He took a moment to muse about how the computer chair seemed to loom over the tiny male, dwarfing his small frame. The blonde pushed the door completely open, placing his left hand on his hip and cocking them slightly. A small scowl formed on his lips as he raised a brow, hating that he obviously missed the joke.

"What's so fucking funny?" He leaned against the doorframe casually, eyes travelling over the barely unpacked room, from the stacks of boxes to the books jammed onto small shelves.

Ciel looks up, breathing harshly and trying to calm his laughter. Hardly surprised to find his best friend standing in his doorway (he was bound to show up some time anyway), he holds in his mirth as best he can as he informs the other with a shaking voice, "They want me... to be a doctor, Alois. My _parents... DOCTOR... Me... doctor... parents..."_ he mumbles incoherently before once again getting swept away in his twisted amusement.

Alois freezes, aqua eyes staring stupidly at his friend's face. "Wait, what?" He blinks, processing the words over again. A tiny giggle leaves his lips. "Are they absolutely _mental?_ You, a doctor. _You?_ " His tiny giggles become shrieks of laughter at the absurdity of it all.

"That's... what I said..." Ciel forced out before whimpering giggles overtook him. "Fuck... F-FUCK, my sides. I'm dying." He fell onto the floor from his chair and began rolling around, the sharp pains in his sides building. Alois laughed even harder at the display and the thought of Ciel laughing himself into spasms of pain. "S-stop l-l-laughing, ass-hole. You're making me, agh..." The younger male was becoming red in the face from his strained breathing and building giggles.

"S-sorry, you just... look so fucking stupid..." Alois clutched at his waist, trying to contain his laughter as his own sides began to ache dully. "Ow," he chirped with a small giggle.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, the cacophony died down, leaving the two friends breathless and gasping for air. As normal breathing patterns were regained, Ciel sat up from his sitting position, frown marring the delicate beauty of his features. "I don't want to be a doctor."

Alois sprawled out next to his friend, propping his chin up on his fist. "Oh, I know baby. You don't have to be. You're gonna be a star, right?"

An unattractive snort coming from the younger male made Alois flinch. "Yes, and cows can actually speak our language. Oh, and penguins can fly!"

Alois scowled and punched Ciel in the leg. "Fuck your sarcasm. Why are you so bitter?"

Sighing, the blae-haired male shook his head. "I have one month, Alois. One fucking month to get a spot, _any_ spot, in a production. If I don't... well, it's either off to college to be a doctor-"

"Will you let me be your naughty nurse?" Alois piped up, shooting his friend a devious grin.

"Fuck you, no. And close your cocksucker, don't interrupt me." Ciel pinched the blonde's cheek roughly.

"Ow, okay. Pleathe continue, printheth," he lisped until his cheek was released. He rubbed the sore spot with a scowl and a huff, but stayed silent and looked at his friend expectantly.

Ciel refused to dignify being called princess with a comment, merely flipping Alois off before continuing his venting. "Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah. Or they're going to disown me and cut off my trust fund, faster than I can say, and I quote "Will suck dick for food." I mean, as if. I suck dick for free, I'm not a prostitute."

Alois barked out a laugh. "Dude, you are so gay. Seriously. But that's so fucked up." He rolled onto his back and looked up at the white cieling. "Your parents have got to be part Dementor or something. Did you tell them to choke on a bag of assholes?"

"Fuck you, you know I didn't. I had to agree to their terms," Ciel rolled his eyes and huffed. "Harry Potter called; he wants his soulless, joy-suckers back."

"Psh, you would fuck me," Alois declared flippantly, poking his friend in the nose.

"You wish I would, but my dick is going nowhere near that gaping hole. Wouldn't want to get sucked that blackhole."

"Oh, so mean. Why am I your friend again?" Alois feigned hurt, draping an arm over his forehead and twisting his features into an agonized expression.

"Because you're a masochist, duh. Now quit bitching and tell me about what you've been up to."

Alois let the masochist comment slide, and latched onto his chance to get the wheel rolling. "Well, if you would stop being such a hermit, you would know. I swear, as soon as you graduated you disappeared right off the face of the earth. Like, do you know how fucking hard it was to find your stupid ass? It was so much easier to just get you from school and make you do stupid shit with me," the blonde whined, sitting up and practically draping himself over Ciel.

"Fuck off, you expect me to pity you? Who was the one who only showed up when he wanted to but could never be found otherwise? After _you_ graduated, you went off to start doing whatever the fuck it is you've been doing. _Which I don't even know because you still haven't told me."_

Alois stuck out his tongue. " _Anyway_ , that's not why I'm here. So don't get all butthurt and stop trying to argue with me." He cleared his throat and continued as if nothing had happened. "I went to this audition the other day, and most parts were filled up, except for two. And I wanted the lead, but for some reason those dicks couldn't see my genius. But I did score the other role."

"Oh, you _poor baby_. You didn't get the role you wanted but you _still got a role?_ " Ciel rubbed his thumb and forefinger together. "The world's smallest violin is weeping for you."

"Fuck you," Alois slapped Ciel's hand, a devious smirk playing over his lips. "Will you let me finish?" Ciel merely nodded, stifling his laughter. "Okay, so I happened to realise while reading through the script that you would be perfect for the starring role. I'm so serious Ciel, with your skills... And it's still not filled! They can't seem to find the right person for the role." Alois stopped and sucked in a breath, staring at Ciel's blank expression with exhasperation. "Don't you see? This could be your big break! And it's within your deadline, so you can say "fuck you, fancy pants doctor school and Dementor parents" and be in a major production."

"I don't know, Alois... What is it, exactly?" Ciel chewed on his bottom lip, tilting his head to the side slightly.

"It's going to be a tv series of some insanely popular manga. You have to audition, seriously. Don't pass up this chance because you're too big a pussy to even _try._ "

"I'm not a pussy," he stated, his mind already moving a mile a minute, mulling over his options. He released the hold his teeth had on his lower lip, the flesh now red from the abuse. "Well, it's not like I can expect anything this good to fall in my lap again... I suppose trying out wouldn't hurt."

"YES! You won't regret this!" Alois squealed and latched onto his friend, gripping him in a tight embrace, before releasing him and digging a worn slip of paper out of his pocket. "The address and times for the next set of auditions is on this. I know you can do this, your acting skills are amazing! I mean, you did best me and get all the leading roles in every play we did together in school. So why would that change now?"

Ciel smiled sheepishly and clutched the paper in his hands, shaking his head. "Thanks, I guess."

"Just don't be late, babycakes. Or I'll kick your ass," Alois threatened lightly.

"HAH! As if. Your pansy ass couldn't even hurt a fly."

"Eww, like I would touch one of those disease ridden pests." Alois scrunched up his face in distaste before hopping to his feet. "I have to go, this is really the only thing I came here for. I have shit to do. Ciao, Ciel baby." And with that, Alois strutted from the room and exited the apartment, smile on his face. "That was easier than I thought..." Out came his phone and he quickly typed in a number before bringing it up to his ear. "Hello, Mr. Director? Yeah, I found the perfect person to be your lead. He'll definitely be at the next audition." He paused, listening to the other speak. "You'll know him when you see him. Oh, and speaking of auditions, I have the best idea ever..." a devious smirk twisted his lips, plans forming in his brain. Ciel worked stupendously under pressure. If he could just get the head honcho to agree to try it his way...

* * *

Ciel unfolded the paper and stared down at it, memorizing the address and date. He would need a resume and would have to perform a scene of his choice in front of the director, assistant director, and various producers. It didn't seem very high pressure, which calmed his nerves. "I guess it's time to study up on Black Butler..."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: I wanted to say here, that Street-fighting Mathematics is ACTUALLY a course that a college offers. I was quite surprised, but I was looking for some weird ass math class, and I was not disappoint. Anyway, if you notice any updates but no new chapters, I'm just going through and doing what I should have done a long time ago: rereading, fixing shit spelling, grammar, and changing or adding things.
> 
> Also, about my use of the word fag/faggot... I really hope that this does not offend any of you. In my experience, friends always seem to call each other names that would in other contexts be considered hurtful. I do it with my friends, even with my family members, because we're so very close and have that kind of relationship. My mum is not only my mum, but she is my best friend, and it's a good relationship to have. Another reason I use such words that can be considered hurtful and offensive is because, in all honesty, they are just words. When you let the words of others hurt you, you're surrenduring your power to them. You're giving the words the power to cause you harm, but I will tell you something: your power is yours, and yours only. Don't let something have such a hold over you, it isn't fair to yourself. Yes, words can and do hurt, I will not sugar-coat it; but it's up to you to decide if you're going to continue and let them rule you. Faggot/fag used to offend me, very deeply. It hurt me so badly to hear people using that word, but then I realised something. Words are just sounds that we make, formed together and given meaning. They have so many meanings, they are versatile and can be used in any context. If it sounds to you like a word is being used as a weapon, then by all means get offended, get pissed, and set the user of the word straight. But it isn't healthy for you to let a word hurt you so badly, even when it's not used in that kind of context. By banning the usage of words because they are offensive, we're giving those words so much power; we're making them out to be more hurtful, making them into weapons, and that isn't good for anyone. I am all for the free usage of any words, so long as we're not using them as weapons or to be spiteful. Another point I want to make is, you can't control other people; you can't filter what they say or don't say, or even what they're thinking. We all have free will, we all can say what we want.
> 
> As for my usage of these words, if they do offend you, then I am sincerely sorry, but I will not stop using them. These words don't deserve my power, they don't deserve your power, either. I will use them as I see fit, but never to hurt someone. I do hope that you'll understand, but I'm not going to filter myself either. I'm not going to change myself for anyone.
> 
> Sorry for going off on a tangent, but thanks for reading this story (and my little rant, if you did), I truly appreciate every single person who reads this and/or reviews.
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy.


	2. Act II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darling readers. You can than Sebasuchanskitten for this update. The reviews I have received from this author inspired me to finish this chapter and get it up tonight. You can show them all your love by reading some of the amazing stories they've written. But first, I hope you enjoy the second installment of BsR. I hope you enjoy Ciel's audition. Constructive criticism is always welcome! Enjoy, darlings~

**Warnings:** Vulgar language, offensive slang/slurs.

* * *

**Backstage Romantics**

**Act II**

The bedroom in Ciel's apartment was quite small; there was barely any room for his full sized bed and oak dresser. The walls were freshly painted a soft navy, wispy clouds sporadically decorating them. The ceiling was covered in silvery stars, both painted and glow-in-the-dark plastic pieces stuck on at random. A few stars had been placed higher up on the walls, the room mimicking a barely cloudy night sky. Ciel had always loved the night, found solace and comfort in the peaceful twinkling of stars and the beauty of a cresent moon; it always had a calming effect on him. However, now, it seemed, that nothing would calm the storm brewing within the dainty male.

While the room had normally been kept fairly neat in his month of living there, it currently looked as though a tornado had hit. Clothes were strewn about without a care, crumpled up in random spots on the floor. The full size bed had a heaping mountain of clothing, which grew as more and more articles were rejected by the owner. The dresser drawers were pulled askew, underwear, socks, and pants hanging limply from them. On top of the dresser laid a pair of red pajama bottoms, faded and holey from the wear and tear of overuse. Yellow stars decorated them, with the phrase 'who's your daddy?' scrawled on them, the letters a bold red. As more articles of clothing flew threw the air and landed farther and farther from the bed the more frantic the tossing of them was, a pitiful whine pierced the air.

"Nn fuck!" A shout echoed around the small bedroom. "Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Ciel moaned, balling up another shirt and tossing it away. "What do I even wear to this audition?!" Panicked royal blue eyes glanced at a digital clock sitting on a bedside table, spurring the male into a more frenzied state. His nerves were on edge, and he turned away from the clock, chewing harshly on his bottom lip, which was already red from abuse. He only had two more hours and counting until the auditions took place, and he still had no idea what to wear. "What is considered appropriate? Fuck, I never had to worry like this with school plays." Another whine of frustration rose in his throat as he dug through a box labelled "clothing" in flowing handwriting. His hands grazed the soft fabric of a pair of slacks, and he paused. "Nothing too formal; a tux wouldn't do. But too casual and they'd think I don't take this seriously... Hff." He sighed, willing himself to relax. He lifted the slacks from the box, resting them on his crossed legs. He pulled the box's lip, tilting it down so his eyes could better scan it's contents. Digging through the folded pile and further mussing it up, he finally found what he was looking for: a dark blue button up cotton dress shirt. Scrambling to his feet, he sprinted over to another box, taking his finds with him. Opening the newly acquired box, labeled "vests", he began searching for the only dressy vest he owned. Passing several of his "faggy nerd" vests, as Alois so _adoringly_ called them, his fingers finally found what he sought. He removed it from the box and blew out a sigh of relief.

Quickly stripping out of his sweatpants and wifebeater, he tugged the slacks up his slim, porcelain legs and buttoned them swiftly. Next came the shirt, which he inspected for creases; deeming the fabric crease-free, he slipped the long sleeves over his arms and adjusted the shirt before fumbling with the buttons. A tiny growl from low in his chest rose to his throat, his frustration with buttons increasing tenfold because of his nervousness.

"I _fucking hate_ buttons. If I never have to see another goddamned button in my life, I would not be disappointed," he grumbled to himself, finally slipping the last button into it's corresponding hole. The shirt was short, and if he lifted his arms, it would ride up and give a glimpse of his creamy flesh. On came the black vest, even shorter than the dress shirt, and he pushed the three silver buttons through their holes before running his hands down his front to smooth out his clothing. It clung to his body, showing off his slender waist and barely leaving anything to one's imagination. "Now, to find a belt..." he turned, taking one step before yelping, his foot coming up off of whatever he stepped on. He clutched his wounded appendage and glared down at the ground. "Damn, blast, and-Ah, a belt!" his anger melting into pleasant surprise as he spotted the offending object, his search over before it had begun. He yanked the belt up and pulled it through the loops in his slacks, pausing and chewing his bottom lip in indecision. He looked at his reflection in the full-length mirror that hanged on the back of his bedroom door, eyebrows wrinkling in thought. He quickly attempted to tuck in his shirt, grimacing as he realised it was too short to be properly tucked. "Untucked it is," he said to his reflection and clasped the belt. Reaching into one of the yanked out drawers, he grabbed a pair of navy socks and made his way over to his closet, avoiding stepping on any of the piles to make sure he didn't injure his foot further. _There might be legos or something hiding under all these clothes..._ Once in front of the closet, he opened the faux-wood door and glanced down, spotting his only nice dress shoes easily. Picking those up, he shut the door and practically pranced out of the room, narrowly avoiding the drawers of his dresser.

With the task of dressing himself over and done with, his anxiety began to loosen it's hold on his chest. Ciel plopped down onto the couch and pulled his socks on before slipping dainty feet into the black leather shoes. He silently thanked whatever gods there were for his parents choosing shoes that required no lacing; it was one less thing he had to fuck up in his frantic rushing. At the time they were purchased, he had complained about them being slip ons. " _I'm not a child, I know how to tie fucking shoes."_ He was grateful that they had ignored his complaining and bought them regardless of his demands. Standing up, he shoved his phone into his back pocket, along with his wallet. He stood on tiptoe to remove his peacoat from the coat rack and slid it on. Buttoning all but two buttons and cinching the tie around his waist, he snagged his keys and left his apartment, running through a mental checklist.

_I'm wearing underwear, I haven't forgotten to put on pants; I've got my phone and wallet tucked safely away in my ass pocket; I'm freshly showered and my teeth have been brushed. I have my keys in hand, and I'm looking dashing and-dare I say-sexy as fuck. They have already received my resume, so I don't have to bring it with me. I've selected and memorised the scene that I want to perform in the audition._ Once satisfied with all of his requirements being checked off, he locked his door and began walking down the stairs, slipping a cigarette between his lips. "Now I just have to find the blasted place."

* * *

There was only one word to describe how Ciel felt while sitting in the waiting room of the fancy building: nervous. His anxiety was only made worse when he saw the 10 or so other males auditioning for the same part; they were all exceptionally handsome, most likely with more experience than he could fathom. All of them were taller than he, as he only stood at a whopping 4 foot 11 inches. He had always cursed his height, as it led to being called _cute_ and _childlike_ , much to his distate. For once, however, he was actually thankful for his short stature; the part he was auditioning for was a 13 year old Earl, and frankly, 13 year olds aren't extremely tall. _Yeah well, they generally don't have the height of a 9 year old either,_ his anxious brain added snarkily. Shaking those negative thoughts away, he silently told his brain in which direction it could fuck.

His blue eyes darted around and oggled the faces of his opponents. _Fuck, look at him... He's so hot, I would totally fuck him. I wonder if he's gay,_ he thought idly, before scolding himself. The men here weren't to be flirted with or seduced; they were the enemy, the only things standing in the way of his chance at stardom.

Cold sweat beaded on Ciel's forehead, nerves coiling in his stomach uncomfortably. He chewed his bottom lip and slipped his peacoat off before rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt to his elbows. He sighed and shifted his weight before leaning back, continuing to worry his lip between his teeth. 10 pairs of eyes turned to him, interest sparking in them; Ciel was no longer paying attention to the others, his eyes lidded and staring blankly up at the ceiling as he tried to distract himself from his impending doom by mentally running over his lines again. 10 pairs of eyes raked his body almost ravenously, taking in the young male's appearance; his heart-shaped faced, framed by wispy blae locks that fell across his forehead in a swooping fringe. They took in the way long coal lashes brushed against high cheekbones each time he blinked, the impossible royal blue of his irises, and they followed the movement of his tongue as it darted out to wet his full, pink lips, before teeth sank into the bottom protrusion, worrrying it red. The bobbing of his adam's apple as he swallowed mesmerised the other males, and, unaware of the stares he was getting, Ciel stretched his arms above his head as his back arched sharply. His shirt rode up slightly, his hip peeking out slightly, and all eyes fell to that tantalizing bit of creamy flesh. The other males were practically drooling; gay or straight, all preferences were forgotten in the presence of the blae-haired male. He was sex on legs, _fuck me_ practically oozing from his every pore. And oh, did those ten men want so badly to do just that. Those 10 pairs of eyes began mentally undressing him, picturing in a heated frenzy all the pleasurable things that they could possibly do to the shorter male.

Their thoughts were cut short, wilting at the opening of the double doors and the powerful entrance of three people. Two were male and one was female; all were dressed in finely tailored suits, their confident postures demanding undivided attention. And receive attention they did: all eyes were focused solely on them, thoughts of the tempting male vanishing like smoke. Ciel sat up, hands dropping to rest in his lap as he nervously eyed those who had just entered. He began worrying his lip between his teeth with renewed fervor, shifting his weight under the heavy gazes of what must have been the director. With bated breath, they awaited to be addressed by the older male, the younger yet stoic male, and their female counterpart.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen, and welcome to the 10th," _and hopefully last,_ he added mentally, _"_ set of auditions for the production of Black Butler. I am Henry Warner, the director, and these are my associates, Mr. Rorke and Mrs. Leffew. They are the assistant director and producer, respectively.

"I am sure that what you expect of this audition is for each of you, one at a time, to be summoned to the auditorium and to display your skills for us. That will not be the case, however. You will be performing in the auditorium, but you will be doing it in front of each of your peers here, my associates and I, as well as the members of the production that have already been cast in their roles."

A wave of shock hit Ciel, and his nerves seemed to hit maximum; Alois had not informed him of such a stressful audition. He already felt naked, stripped bare for all eyes to judge harshly his performance skills. Murmurs of discontent filled the room as the other males auditioning exchanged wary looks.

"If you do not like our way of doing things, then you know where the door is," Mrs. Leffew deadpanned, her dark eyes piercing through each male like knives. A shudder ran down Ciel's spine when her eyes landed on him, a flicker of recognition lighting them before she smothered it. It confused him that she seemed to recognize him even though he had never met her before. The urge to flee and never look back coursed through his veins, but he kept himself firmly planted. The other males exchanged looks, but stayed seated; none of them were giving up this chance.

The Director followed Leffew's gaze, his eyes widening slightly as he took in the dainty male's appearance. _So this is the one that Alois was singing the praises of. Yes, yes, he_ looks _the part. Now to see if his skills are as wondrous as the blond brat claims them to be._

"Now, please follow us into the auditorium," Rorke said, his tone of voice demanding as he spun on his heel, Leffew and Warner following his lead. Eleven males rose to their feet, nervously shuffling after them. Ciel's knees wobbled slightly, and he feared that he would pass out. He clutched onto his peacoat as if it was his lifeline. The double doors led to an impressive auditorium, and his eyes glanced around, taking in the details with awe. The stage sat at the back of the massive room, dead-center. Rows upon rows of elegant seating leading up to the stage, and above them were balconies of seating for VIPS. It was all so beautiful, and yet Ciel could not fully appreciate it because his nerves were currently aflame. His body trembled slightly and his chest tightened with anxiety. _Don't vomit, don't vomit, don't vomit..._ he chanted to himself in his head.

_Oh god, I can't do this. Fucking Alois; if I ever see his gay ass ever again I'm going to murder him dead._ The 11 males were led onto the stage and ushered behind a curtain where they gathered around the Director. "Here's how this will work: when your name is called, you will come out onto the stage, give us your best performance of whatever monologue you have selected to perform. Because most of the script is kept on lockdown, you had the option to choose from what few scenes we offered, or from the manga." This statement caused a few of the males to exchange nervous glances and shift anxiously from foot to foot; not one of them had thought to perform a monologe from the manga-save for Ciel. "From the looks of it, most of you did not consider the manga to be adequate enough material. Therefore some of you may be performing the same scene as one another. Please do your best to make it as original and captivating as possible.

"In any case, this shall be quite interesting," the Director mused, before continuing on explaining things.

* * *

The cast was being led in by Leffew, selecting their seats of choice. Alois practically bounced in the plush red seat in his excitement. He gripped the arms until his knuckles turned white, and he looked up at Leffew.

"Mrs. Producer, don't forget; let the best go last. He'll blow you away, I promise," the blond gushed, and Leffew rolled her eyes.

"Sit still, Alois. The Director already agreed to this scheme of yours, and it better go the way you say it will." Her voice was severe, and she turned away sharply, stalking to the front row and sitting down. The Director emerged from backstage and joined Leffew and Rorke, leaning back in his seat.

"Theo Anderson," Rorke announced, his voice echoing around the auditorium while his face held a completely bored expression.

"Here we go..." Ciel winced.

* * *

Ciel shifted his weight several times; 9 people had already gone before him, and as he watched their performances, his nerves began to settle. The skills each of them possessed were subpar, at best, and it was slowly building his confidence. The 10th person was called out; it was the one he thought handsome not that long ago. Now he looked white as a sheet, and a little nauseous. He stuttered through his lines, eyes flickering to all the faces in barely suppressed terror. The man froze as he skipped over a line, shame taking over his features. He quickly finished and stumbled off in the other direction, completely dejected.

It was finally Ciel's turn; he took a deep breath, and when his name was called, he confidently strutted onto the stage, stopping dead center and turning to the "audience". A raven-haired male that had been sitting by himself a little farther back had been bored through each and every person that had attempted to audition. He slouched in his seat, arms crossed lazily over his chest. A feeling that this audition would also be a bust itched at his skin, and he sighed, gazing up at the stage as the last (thankfully) male took to the stage. Immediately, carmine eyes lit up with interest. The man leaned forward, his eyes hungrily taking in every 4'11" of the blae-haired male. To call him gorgeous would be an understatement: he was the most beautiful creature to ever grace the earth. His coal lashes dusted faintly over high cheekbones as he closed his eyes for a few seconds. Parted pink lips drew sanguine eyes to them; he noticed the bottom one was reddended with constant abuse. Quirking an eyebrow, he already deduced that it must have been the blae-haired boy's nervous habit.

The dark haired male tilted his head to the side. _Ciel, his name is, I believe..._ he mused to himself. It was just as the main character's. _I have a feeling that his performance will be far from lacking._ He leaned back and placed his right ankle on his left knee as he crossed his arms behind his head. The sanguine-eyed man watched with curiosity, awaiting the performance.

Ciel opened his eyes and glared at each person seated arrogantly; they no longer scared him, and he would be damned if he didn't give them his best performance. With a steadying breath, he raised his hand toward them and began his selected scene.

Quite suddenly, soft chuckles began to rumble in Ciel's chest before it became fullout laughter. With a twinge of madness, it came bursting forth. The cacophony echoed throughout the auditorium and bounced off the walls, holding such cruel amusement that it instantly captured the attention of all. He held his sides as if trying to contain the well of laughter. As his mirth died down, enough for him to speak, he drew a deep, gasping breath. "There was nothing here! The thing they were protecting didn't even exist!" He shouted, barely contained sadistic glee in his voice. The start of his audition was so powerful that everyone sat with bated breath, clutching the arms or the edges of their seats. Even the mysterious raven-haired male wasn't able to tear his eyes away from the spectacular boy; his presence commanded all of the attention, dominated the stage, and left all feeble auditions before his forgotten.

"They didn't know about this. They even became so desperate..." here, he drew a breath, wavering with unabridled amusement, drawing the audience in even more. "...that they died!" And that maddening laughter once again spilled out uncontrollably. His head flew back as his eyes closed, arms digging into his sides. After a few calming breaths, he continued. "Their desperate hope was ridiculously crushed like a worm. Superficial! Cruel! Revolting! Isn't it even more demonic than a demon? Right?!" He giggled, snorted, and roared with cruel humor.

His laughter finally seemed to dry up, no longer pouring forth, as he deadpanned, "And I am the same." His mad grin slowly shrank into a small smirk, as he breathed out, "I'm also... filled with the same ugly contents as them. This is what a human is!" Ciel's face screwed up in utter anguish as he looked straight into the audience, seeing but not seeing.

"I'm a human being!" He cried out, the utter torment staining the delicate beauty of his features piercing into the hearts of his audience. "Sebastian!" In that one name, his voice carried desperation, pain, helplessness, and longing.

Silence followed; for several moments, nothing but quiteness filled the air. Ciel's chest heaved, and he came back to himself. Suddenly, he was nervous. What if his audition was worse than the others? He straightened up, staring doe-eyed at the small gathering of cast and crew. He bit into his bottom lip, body tensing as he waited to be booed off stage.

Carmine eyes were wide as the raven-haired male's heart beat against his ribcage. Never before had a performance left him feeling so exhilarated, nor had one ever held him so enraptured. This dainty male captivated his every thought and left him wanting to expose more sides of the feisty-looking Ciel. A light blush dusted the young male's cheeks as his arms hung loosely at his sides, and his shirt had ridden up slightly, exposing milky flesh. The raven-haired male smirked, his interest in Ciel piquing even more. The younger male simply exuded sex pheromones, he was a breathakingly wondrous actor, and his beauty was unrivaled. Chocolatey eyes locked on those tantalizing hips, and he knew then that he had to have this boy-at all costs. Focusing his gaze on the boy's face, he realised how petrified the silence was leaving him, and so he began clapping, slowly, at first.

The echoing of applause startled Ciel, as well as awakened the others and ignited a standing ovation. The cacophony of clapping and cheering met the blae-haired males ears, and he blinked in confusion.

"Ciel, you magnificent bastard!" Alois called out, squealing in delight as he bounced around gaily. "I knew you could do it!"

"Splendid! Absolutely transcendent, Ciel m'boy!" The director roared out, glee lighting up his features.

Confusion etched itself on Ciel's features as his body warred over his fight-or-flight instinct.

"We have found our Ciel Phantomhive!" The Director pronounced cheerfully, causing the other cast members to howl uproariously.

As those words sunk in, Ciel began to tremble with excitement. He let out a whoop of joy, fingers fumbling for his phone as he hit speed dial.

"Have you applied to a co-" his mother began in lieu of greeting, but Ciel cut her off.

"I got a part in a major production! As the lead!" He practically squealed. "So you can take that doctor college and shove it straight up your arse, you soul-sucking bitch!" With that, he hung up. He could barely make out Alois' barking laughter as the blond choked out how proud he was of Ciel for telling off his Dementor parents.

Ciel hopped off the stage, and he practically pranced over to the Director, shaking his hand with gusto. "Thank you so much, Sir, I won't let you down!"

The Director chortled, patting Ciel on the shoulder. "Please, call me Henry. And congratulations. We will be holding a cast party tomorrow in the ballroom of a hotel. Amelia will give you the address, and it is at 8 o'clock sharp. You will get to meet all of your fellow cast members in a more relaxed setting."

"Amelia?" Ciel asked, head tilting to the side, wondering who the hell that was.

"That would be me," Leffew stated, giving Ciel a soft smile. "You may call me Amy though, if you'd like. And Rorke here, well. He's just Rorke." Taking out a business card and flipping it to the back, she wrote on it the designated hotel and the time and date. "We'll see you tomorrow, yes?"

Ciel could only nod as he accepted the card, looking down to memorize the hotel name. Excitement still coursed through him, and he happily clutched the card. He would officially meet the cast that he would be working with tomorrow night.

* * *

Sanguine eyes watched the glowing blae-haired male from afar. "The cast party, hm?" He mused out loud to himself in his liquid velvet voice. "This is about to get very interesting... Ciel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope this was up to par. Thank you for taking the time to read it, and I always appreciate comments/reviews! The monologue is from the manga, Chapter 36 Pages 22-27, © Yana Toboso.  
> Oh, and about those red pajama pants, with the yellow stars and "who's your daddy?", I had a pair of those all through middle school and into my first year of high school. They were so ratty, but they were my absolute favorites. Sadly, my mother threw them away one day. I would have worn them until they had fallen off. I included them here because, well, I feel like some of my experiences or personal quirks bleed out into the characters I write about. Anyway, that is all for now. Until next time~
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy


	3. Act III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, so holy fucking shit! My mum found my old flashdrive, and do you know what was on it? SEBASTIAN'S AND CIEL'S MEETING for this fanfic, when I was first toying around with the idea! Ohmygoddess, I am so much happier with this chapter now that I fixed it up, combining the old and the new. I really hopw you guys like this better, because I have to say, it's much more... beautiful, flowing, perfect. Unf, if I could marry this chapter... Anyways! I find that them meeting this way works more for how I want the story to play out. It's the beginning of their unhealthy, dangerous, destructive, terribly amazing relationship, and I only wish I had remembered what I had written before. No matter, I've fixed this, so you all should reread it and tell me what you think! I removed a few things here and there, but nothing of serious importance. The rest of the chapter is the same, save for their meeting. Funny how a little drabble from when I was 18 and tossing around ideas for fanfics in my brain would turn out to be the perfect thing for this fanfic. Enough of my ramblings, I'm just sharing my happiness with you all. Now, enjoy~!

 

  
**Warnings:** Vulgar Language, offensive slang/slurs, alcoholic consumption.

* * *

**Act III**

Pacing back and forth in his living room in a nicely tailored suit, cellphone cradled between his ear and shoulder, Ciel chewed viciously on his lip. He was nervous, almost as nervous as he had been when auditioning. The phone kept ringing in his ear, and he silently cursed Alois for not picking up at the first ring. "Fucking, _come on_." Ciel whined, tugging at his kitten-soft locks with his right hand. Just as he was about to hang up, in the middle of the umpteenth ring, Alois finally answered his phone.

"Hello~" the blond's voice rang out cheerfully, instantly grating on Ciel's frayed nerves. "How is my most favorite faggot? Are you on your way?"

The blae-haired male was not in the mood for Alois' witty, playful banter. "No, I am not on my way. I... I'm not sure I can do this, Alois," Ciel whispered into the phone pitifully.

"What? Why not! You have to come, seriously." All joking and light tone bled out of the older male's voice. "Ciel, this is important. We're _required_ to go."

Ciel let out his breath in a puff. "I know, I know. I'm just... nervous, I suppose." _Understatement,_ he thought to himself.

"Okay, here's what you need to do. I know you have some fancy wine in your apartment somewhere. You're a spoiled little bitch, by the way," Alois tacked on before drawing a breath and continuing before his best friend could get a word in edgewise. "Drink a glass, or two, just so you get buzzed, but not smashed. I swear to whatever gods there are, Ciel, if you show up here trashed out of your mind, I'm kicking your skinny ass. Anyway, do that, catch a taxi, and get your ass here. Call me when you arrive, and I'll come down to escort you in. That way, your nerves will be dulled, and you'll have my presence to keep them in check. Does that sound okay to you?"

Ciel frowned, mulling over the taller male's words. It did make sense, and he nodded his head before realising that Alois couldn't see him through the phone. "All right, I'll do it. But if you don't come for me, I'm going to end you. Sound fair?"

"Okay, baby. I'm your date tonight, so I won't forget you, sweet cheeks."

Ciel rolled his eyes, his muscles relaxing slightly. His best friend was there for him, he had his back. Everything would turn out fine. "You're gayer than a unicorn vomiting rainbows, you know that?"

Alois' laughter was slightly manic, but then again, it always was. "But you just _love_ it, don't you?"

Shaking his head, the blue-black haired boy sighed. "Of course I love you, _baby."_

With that, they hung up, and Ciel made his way over to his kitchen, where the wine cabinet was kept. He looked them over and selected a slightly potent red wine. Popping the cork out, he didn't even allow the wine any time to breathe, and took a big swig. He wrinkled his nose in slight distaste, opening a cabinet and stretching to reach one of his wine glasses. Because he was so short in stature, he couldn't even reach the top shelves and hadn't even bothered to put anything there. The middle shelf was barely within his reach, and he had to stand on tiptoes to brush his fingers against the finely crafted stem of the glass. Ciel curled his fingers around it and pulled it out, relaxing his stance before pouring himself a healthy amount of wine. Swirling it around the glass, he took a sip, enjoying the sharp and heady flavor by rolling it aroung in his mouth a few times before swallowing. The wine was rich in its taste, quite satisfying to say the least. He took his time downing the glass, feeling the steady burn numbing his throat and senses. His head was already beginning to swim, the buzz pleasantly working its way through his body. He recorked the wine bottle, rinsed out his glass, and called a cab.

Once in the cab and on his way to the cast party, Ciel could feel all tension leaving his body. The wine had definitely helped, and he sighed to release any negative emotions. He could do this. It would all be okay. The nineteen year old was more of a wallflower at social gatherings; he held more contentment by watching others mingle and dance, off on the sidelines. He found it slightly funny that an aspiring actor, such as himself, would not fancy a lot of attention. He could feel a giggle rising in his chest, but he quickly squashed it down; he did not wish to make the cab-driver feel as though he were mad.

When the cab finally pulled up to the ritzy hotel, Ciel stepped out into the cool night air; the sun had already set, leaving only streetlights to brighten up the darkness. The blae-haired male took a deep breath of the intoxicationg night air. It filled him, calmed him, and even numbed the buzz he was feeling. Nighttime was his comfort. After paying the cab-driver, he slipped out his phone and dialed Alois' number. It seemed to ring a thousand times before he was sent to voicemail. Immediately his happy, calm bubble popped. Irritation quickly set in as he tried the blond tart's number three more times, ending up with the same results. He could not believe that Alois was already blowing him off.

Grumbling, Ciel stepped into an alleyway and shook out a mentholated cigarette, placing it between pursed lips. He quickly lit it and took a deep drag. Entirely pissed off at his best friend, he leaned against a wall, cradling his waist with one arm. The blond was probably already trashed, completely forgetting that he was supposed to come down to meet Ciel. "Fucking bastard. I hope he gets triple-dicked..." he muttered to himself.

Quite suddenly, a tall silhouette stepped out of the darkness, as a velvety chuckle wrapped around the short male and made a shiver run up his spine. "Smoking is a terrible habit. Those can kill you, didn't you know?"

Hating nothing more than being told by Nosy Nelly's how horrible it was to smoke and all the shit it did to you, Ciel instantly tensed up like a cat ready to attack. He practically hissed at the stranger, "No, shit? Really? I didn't fucking know. Let me just quit right now, since you so kindly told me _how fucking terrible it is for my health."_

The tall man chuckled again, Ciel hating the pleasant tingles it caused to dance through his body. "You're quite the spit-fire, aren't you, Ciel?" The stranger practically purred his name. The blae-haired boy squinted, trying to dissern the other's features, but it was too dark for that; for the first time in his life, he cursed the night for being so aphotic.

Overhead the clouds broke, as if the younger male had willed it into being, allowing moonlight to filter into the alley and providing the younger male sufficient light to finally see the offending male. Ciel was about to shout a brash retort when the appearance of the man made him draw in a loud breath of shock. The raven-haired male was beyond gorgeous, to say the least. His eyes were a deep sanguine in color, reminding Ciel of freshly spilt blood, with the barest hint of chocolatey depths. The male was tall, towering over Ciel's 4'11'' frame. He had to tilt his head back to even see the man's face. If possible, the stranger's skin seemed even paler than Ciel's own, and his lips were parted slightly as he smirked down at him. Long, slim fingers reached out and slipped the cigarette from the younger's grasp, bringing it up to the pale, full lips of the taller male. He took a long drag and blew the smoke straight into Ciel's face. In the back of his mind, he recalled Alois telling him quite matter-of-factly once that blowing smoke into someone's face means that you want to fuck them. _What an odd way to show your desire for someone_ , he thought idly, before snapping back to the situation at hand. He stood on the tips of his toes and snatched the cigarette from the taller's grasp, hissing like an angry cat.

"If it's such a _disgusting habit_ , don't you steal my fucking cigarettes!" he huffed loudly and placed his cig back on his lips, inhaling once more. His reaction to this seemed to cause the older's smirk to widen, his eyes alight with mischief. The look on the stranger's face made a not all that unpleasant shiver dance up and down Ciel's spine.

"I never said that I didn't smoke, I was merely trying to be conscious of your health." The taller male took back the cigarette and inhaled a long drag off of it, eyeing the blae-haired male with much interest. "I was never one for following the rules, Ciel."

Finally, it registered in the smaller male's brain that this stranger apparently knew him, as he called him by his name, not once, but _twice_. He glared daggers at the man, standing up straighter as he stiffened. "Just who the hell are you, and how do you know my name?" He demanded, fighting off the urge to stomp his foot like a tantrumming two year old.

Taking another long inhalation of smoke before flicking the cigarette away, the raven-haired man bowed deeply, gazing up at Ciel's angry face. "Why, my name is Sebastian Michaelis, and I am simply one hell of a butler. It goes without saying that I should know the name of my Young Master." And with a wicked smile, his hand snaked out, taking the dainty hand of Ciel in his and pressing his soft, cool lips against his fingertips. A shiver ran through the shorter male's body, starting at the tips of his fingers. "I look forward to working _very closely_ with you, My Lord."

Shock coursed through his veins as he realised that this was his co-star, followed immediately with disdain. "Fuck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: Doesn't this just flow so much better?! Isn't it just perfect and horrible and amazing? I'm so happy that I found that little drabble. The plans I had for this fanfiction before I lost my Hello Kitty flashdrive were much more impressive than I'd been coming up with now. I mean, I knew how I wanted their relationship to be, but I seemed to have started it off a little rocky, and I really HATED how this chapter was. It was sorely lacking where it needed the drama most. Anywho, please please review and tell me what you think of this chapter now!
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy.


	4. Act IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Don't you just love me? I have updated once again! I may even update tomorrow as well, you never know! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, the budding romance between Alois and Claude, and the seemingly distructive relationship that Sebastian and Ciel are forming. Things will be getting ugly a bit on down the line, I can promise you that! Please review after you read!

**Warnings:** Vulgar Language, offensive slang/slurs, alcoholic consumption.

* * *

**Act IV**

Alois had just gotten off the phone with Ciel, feeling quite accomplished at talking his best friend into a more relaxed state. Slipping the celular device into the back pocket of his form-fitting black cotton short shorts, which was paired with a tasteful creamy cashmere sweater that exposed his shoulders. For once, it wasn't a tight top that showed off his feminine-esque figure, but clung baggily to his torso. His legs were encased in pale thigh high socks, his favorite, and they were elongated by the high-heeled knee-length black boots he wore. Ciel always joked that he dressed like a high-class hooker, but Alois quite liked his fashion sense; he would never be caught dead in those horrendous faggy nerd vests that the slightly shorter male seemed to have a strange love for.

With a self-satisfied sigh and one last look at himself in the restroom mirror, the manic blond strutted from the room and headed back to the party. It was barely 8, and yet the celebration was in full swing; alcoholic beverages were being generously served, and it looked as though quite a few people were already heavily drunk. Several of the cast members were "getting friendly" on the dance floor, which caused Alois to snicker in delight. There were sure to be many regrets tomorrow morning, when people woke up with pounding hangovers in bed next to someone they didn't even remember fucking. An odd kind of mirth filled the blond as he pictured the horrified expressions that would be painted on their faces. Hell, it even seemed as if Leffew was flirting with the old geezer of a Director! He nearly gave a derisive snort at the thought. Nothing would be more horrible than to wake up next to _that_ bag o' bones.

Shaking the snarky, better-than-thou thoughts from his head, Alois headed over to a pretty female who held a tray of what looked like champagne. He took a flute without her even giving him a questioning glance; that was the most wonderful thing about the caterers the Director had gotten for the cast party: they didn't card. Sipping merrily at the bubbly beverage, cerulean eyes calmly scanned the crowd. He hadn't really gotten acquainted with the cast himself, and he was glad that he was going to have Ciel to leech onto, once the nervous blae-headed boy got here.

Alois had been bobbing his head to the beat and rocking back precariously onto his heels when he saw him. He could feel his jaw drop as he took in every gorgeous inch of the tall, pale man with curious melted gold eyes and dark plum locks. His hair was such a strange shade, such a deep purple that it appeared almost black, and it made his flawless skin stand out. He was tall, but not too tall, Alois' preferred height in men, and even through the suit that he wore, the blond could tell that he had perfectly chiseled muscles. He wanted to swoon at the sight of such a gorgeous creature before him, but he got a handle on himself. Closing his mouth firmly and mentally shaking himself, he sneakily peaked at the man. He was obviously part of the cast... Was he the one that was playing the lead's butler? Instant jealousy pierced through the blond; if Ciel got to work so closely with this Greek God, Alois would absolutely lose his mind at the unfairness.

With an irritated huff, Alois chugged the rest of the champagne and practically slammed the flute down onto the nearest surface. The loud clink caused the server to eye him warily and take a few steps away, as if he were volatile and would explode at any moment. He shot daggers at her, frown marring his doll-like face. Stomping away from the annoying woman and hardly paying attention to his surroundings, he yanked his phone out of his shorts and checked to see if Ciel had bothered to show up yet: no such luck. He stopped marching around aimlessly and just glared at his blank cellphone screen.

With his eyes downcast, he didn't notice the off-balance drunk Director before it was too late. A sharp shove to his back took him off-guard as Henry tried to catch his balance. A tiny squeak left Alois' lips, and he closed his eyes, bracing himself for the pain and embarrassment of being sent sprawling onto the floor. While he did make impact, it wasn't with the hard, cold marble; instead he felt himself pressing into a warm, soft and yet firm chest as strong arms wrapped around his hips, almost possesively. Cerulean eyes opened slowly and looked up into the swirling molten gold depths of the man he had been admiring from afar.

A soft " _oh"_ left his pale lips, and he could feel a warm blush dusting over his cheeks. "Hello," Alois said, though it came out as more of a breathy whisper.

A sexy half-smile curled the corner of one of the man's lips. "You should be more careful, little dove." Oh, his voice was deep and smooth, and it had a hint of roughness that suggested at a habit of smoking. "You could have gotten hurt."

Alois' blush deepened, and he bit his bottom lip, his heart pounding so hard in his chest that he feared the man holding him close would feel it. All too soon the taller male released his hold, and the younger found himself missing the comforting warmth of the embrace. He shyly looked up at the man from underneath his lashes, one hand coming up to nervously tug at a strand of ash-blond hair. "Um, thanks for catching me. I'm Alois," he offered a dainty hand.

"Claude; and it was no trouble," he stated, that delicious half-smile still curling his lips as he took Alois' hand and bent slightly at the waist to press a gentle kiss to the back of his hand.

Alois felt his knees get all wobbly and weak, and all thoughts of Ciel flew out of his head. The normally cocky and confident blond felt truly self-conscious for once in his life. Was his hair a mess? Did his outfit suit him? Oh, God, was Ciel right? Did he truly look like a high-class whore? Claude was so perfect, and Alois felt so... _not._ No man had ever been able to render him shy and demure, because he viewed all men as play-things, people he could throw away once he grew tired of them. But not him, not Claude. This feeling he was getting towards was uncomfortably unfamiliar, but not entirely unwelcome. _Even if it is a little scary,_ a tiny voice whispered the thought.

"Would you like to dance with me?" Claude asked, snapping Alois out of his weird thought process.

With a wide grin, Alois nodded and allowed Claude to pull him out onto the dance floor.

* * *

"I fucking hate you Alois! You are a goddamned liar. Escort me to the cast party and be my date for the night, my fucking ass! Because you practically _abandoned_ me, I'm at the mercy of some _peasant_ ," Ciel angrily hissed into his phone, leaving another particularly nasty voicemail for Alois. "Some best friend you are," he snarled before hanging up.

Through the 5 angry messages Ciel left for the manic blond, Sebastian listened with that stupid smirk on his face. The tall, lithe man leaned against the alley wall, the barest hint of a chuckle leaving his lips. Ciel turned angrily on his heel to glare at the man that towered over him, as if it was his fault that Alois had forgotten about him. Trying very hard not to get caught up in those dangerous sanguine eyes, he brought his gaze down to his chest. _A mistake,_ he thought too late. Sebastian was certainly tall, much taller than Ciel would ever be. If he had to guess, he'd say somewhere in the 6-foot range. While he was thin, his shoulders were broad, with narrow hips; he was not at all lanky. The outfit he was wearing was casually chic: a burgundy dress shirt, three buttons undone at the top, left untucked and hanging over pressed black slacks. His sleeves were rolled back to his elbows and he wasn't wearing a jacket of any sorts. The hint of his chest peaking out showed muscle definition. The younger male bet that He had large his body was completely wrapped in delicious muscles. He may have been muscular, but he wasn't beefy, and that was a plus in Ciel's book. Sebastian had large hands, larger than Ciel's, at least, and it made a stray thought wander into his brain. _If his hands are that big, does that mean...?_

As if someone had thrown cold water on him, Ciel stopped that thought dead in it's tracks and banished it. Masking his shock with anger, he gave a steely-eyed glare at Sebastian's chin. "Why the hell are _you_ still here?" He spat, waving his arms in a dramatic gesture.

Pushing himself off of the wall, Sebastian practically glided over to his shorter counterpart, looking down at him with those sanguine eyes. "I was hoping you would allow me to escort you inside. I had only come out for a smoke break, so I know exactly where the ballroom is." He paused, waiting patiently for Ciel's answer.

The blae-haired male scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. He didn't know exactly where the party was being held, and he didn't want to blunder around like a fool looking for it. He also did not want to go in there alone, though he wasn't sure if heading in with this _Sebastian_ , who seemed to make him angry (amongst other things, but he wasn't quite ready to admit that yet) just by existing.

With a sigh, Ciel surrendered. "Fine. You may be my escort," he said with a sneer.

Sebastian smiled with his eyes closed, before taking the younger male's arm in his. Ignoring the sputtering and futile protests of Ciel, he led them out of the alley and into the the hotel. One elevator trip and a walk down a long hall later, they found themselves outside of a grand doorway. "It's right through here."

"Might as well get it over with," Ciel mumbled bitterly.

* * *

"Ciel, m'boy, you made it!" The Director exclaimed with drunken delight.

"Ciel's here?" a female's high-pitched voice rang out, and several of the cast members stopped what they were doing to come and greet him. A pink and blonde ball of fluff assaulted him first, her squeals of delight piercing his ears and making him wince. "Oh you are so cute! I'm so happy that you'll be playing my fiance! Oh, I'm Elizabeth, by the way."

Gasping for air, Ciel tried to pry himself out of her grasp to no avail. Elizabeth held him with an iron grip, and he squirmed uncomfortably. Everyone began talking to him all at once, commending him for his auditioning performance, or welcoming him to the cast. It made him feel flustered and extremely umcomfortable; he didn't like all the attention, not one bit. Once again, his fight-or-flight instinct was warring inside of him.

Sensing the discomfort and anxiety that Ciel was feeling, as the boy was practically chewing off his bottom lip, Sebastian stepped in and smoothly detached him from all of the boisterous actors. "I think the staff have replenished the champagne," he stated simply, but he efficiently distracted the clawing, fawning harpies from Ciel. They wandered off in small groups, going off to dance or to drink more alcohol. Sebastian watvched them all leave, making sure none of them were coming back to harass the already frazzled actor.

Ciel shot a grateful look at Sebastian, but didn't let him see it; his pride would simply not allow it. Instead, he scanned the crowd of people, his eyes landing on the blond crown of his best friend. He appeared to be deep in conversation with some tall bloke with purpley black hair and smoldering amber eyes. The stranger was definitely tall, perhaps not as tall as Sebastian, but close. They were off sitting in some secluded corner, two drink glasses resting on a table between them, hardly touched. Ciel rolled his eyes, then flagged down the nearest server. He picked up two flutes, both for himself, and slammed them back, one after the other. He made the server stand where she was while he finished off her tray. The heady buzz of the champagne settled in and calmed his frazzled nerves.

Sebastian raised one narrow brow at him, crossing his arms. "You might want to slow down your intake; wouldn't want to get sick, would you?"

Ciel gave one long-suffering sigh, rolling his glassy eyes up at the ceiling. "Have we not already discussed that I don't want you to butt into my personal affairs when they are none of your business?" He lowered his gaze and gave Sebastian a dour look. "Besides, I can handle my liquor. Can you, you giant fucking beast?"

Sebastian snorted, and bowed slightly, his smirk returning. "Challenge accepted."

Both males made their way around the ballroom, downing any alcohol that they could find. Ciel wasn't kidding when he said he could hold his liquor; he wasn't even swaying or stumbling. He looked perfectly coherent, and the only thing that hinted at drunkeness were his glassy eyes; his speech wasn't slurring or in any way impaired. Sebastian, however, felt like the room was spinning. He would sway from time to time, but other than that showed know outward signs that he was wasted out of his mind. He could feel his stomach turning uncomfortably, but he would be damned if he tossed his cookies in front of Ciel. He tried to maintain his composure, but he found it increasingly difficult when his shorter counterpart kept on raking him with eyes the color of blue roses. Everywhere those hypnotic eyes touched him, it felt as if his skin was searing, but it wasn't unpleasant.

Thoughts of taking the boy that had managed to pique his interest to his room and ravish him began running rampant in his head. He wasn't in his right state of mind; he wanted to take his time seducing the younger male, to win him over, to make Ciel his, but his alcohol-impaired brain seemed to be forgetting all that. With a deep breath, Sebastian closed his eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"The Director rented out some rooms for the cast. I snagged a keycard from him for you, so you can head to room 2403 whenever you feel like it. I will be retiring, however." The haughty smirk that spread over Ciel's lips told Sebastian that he knew he had won this little drinking game. "Until we meet again," Sebastian murmured, feeling slightly vindictive at the thought of Ciel's victory. He leaned down over the blae-haired male and pressed a searing kiss on the corner of his mouth.

Ciel tensed up, watching in stunned silence as Sebastian turned from him and left the ballroom. After several moments, he reached into his pocket to check the time on his phone. As he pulled it out, a keycard fell out of his pocket. "Sneaky bastard," he muttered to himself.

Deciding to exit the party as well, leaving behind the boisterous drunks, Ciel headed up to the 24th floor. Finding his room and letting himself in, he stripped down to nothing and crawled in between the sheets. "I don't like him, and I don't trust him," he said out loud, thinking of the way Sebastian seemed to devour him with his eyes. It made a shudder dance it's way down his spine. "And I never will," he added firmly, and for good measure.

And yet, as he drifted into an alcohol-induced sleep, he thought of nothing except for sanguine eyes, that dangerous smirk, and the kiss that left a torturous desire behind, burning through his veins. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: If you received notification of update, all I did was fix spelling errors, add a few sentences and descriptions here and there. No new chapter yet, I'm sorry. Do you think this chapter is lame? If so, please review and give constructive criticism, but don't be giant meanies. Did you think this chapter was awesome? If so, review and let me know! Reviews always get my creative blood pumping and make me a very happy author. Enough of my bullpoopie tired as hell rambles, I hope you enjoyed this, and goodnight!
> 
> Oh, I forgot to mention, but: Ciel having a high tolerancy for alcohol and being almost impossible to get wasted out of his mind, is an important plot point. No matter how much or what he drinks, the most he gets is buzzed (kind of strange for someone so petite, I know, but just go with it!) but never truly drunk. He is always in control of himself, and his actions. Please keep this in mind for future chapters, as it will all make sense why I am making sure this is burned into your brains. Please remember this~ It's super important, and will later be part of a turning point in the story. That's all I will say on the matter. (I might have given too much away already >.>;)
> 
> On another note, you'll notice that Claude and Alois are actually going to have a very healthy relationship. I think they deserve it, or rather, Alois does (I'm still quite upset with Claude, because in the anime... he... ;n; All Alois wanted was his love! -goes off to cry-). Anyway, Ciel and Sebastian are going to have a bit more of a volatile relationship. It will be dangerous and perhaps a bit unhealthy. I've always been quite fond of the songs that declare how much they hate a person but that they can't seem to stay away from each other. I kind of view Sebastian and Ciel as magnets: always repelling eachother, and yet always being drawn together. Kind of like my most favorite yaoi ever, Gravitation.
> 
> Again, sorry for all my ramblings. I do tend to go off on little tangents, don't I?
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy.


	5. Act V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter .-. Truthfully, I was just writing away. I really do hope it's not boring or tedious. I don't actually know how this story is doing on a whole. I know that I'm going to continue to write it, even if I don't get reviews, but it's a bit upsetting sometimes to check, and see that no one has reviewed on new chapters. Does that mean it wasn't good? I'm sorry, I'm just a little bit low is all. So long as this is being read, I'll be happy.

  
**Warnings:** Some language.

* * *

Act V

"I hope everyone enjoyed the cast party last week," the Director's booming voice echoed around the studio, drawing the attention of the mingling cast. He gave a genial smile before continuing on. "Today we will be doing a run-through of the script, nothing too strenuous, after we go and explore the numerous sets so that you may familiarize yourself with them. Once the run-through is completed, our costume designers will be taking each of your measurements so that the costumes may be completed for the dress rehearsals that will take place next week. You don't have to have your lines memorised, but I hope that you have studied them enough to decide how you will portray your character." Here he paused, his sharp eyes scanning the many faces of the people he would be directing. "Of course, those of you who will be in the filming of the first episode must have your lines completely memorised by the time we begin dress rehearsals."

"If that is all, Director," Leffew cut in, her red-painted lips curling into a professional smile. Henry gave her a short nod, which she returned before turning her dark gaze onto the cast. "If you would please follow me, we will begin the tour of the studio."

Several small groups of cast members converged to form one massive gaggle. Ciel, being quite short in stature, stood towards the back; it would be easier for him to see without having to try and catch glimpses over the giant beasts he called fellow actors, as well as saving him from being trampled by them. Alois waltzed over to him, all smile and sunshine, even though he earned a vicious glare from his best friend.

"Oh come one, Ciel. You aren't still mad about the party, are you?" The blond asked, nudging the darker haired male's ribcage with his elbow. "I don't know how many times you want me to say I'm sorry."

Ciel scoffed, not dignifying that with a retort, before glaring off in the opposite direction, arms crossed tightly across his chest.

"Ciel, really? The silent treatment? Aren't you supposed to act your age, not your height?" Alois whined pitifully, throwing his arms over the tinier shoulder's of his counterpart and going slightly limp.

The shorter male growled, but before he could hiss at his friend that he was a heavy fuck and to release him immediately, a velvety voice cut in, sending those hated shivers running over his skin. "I do believe that the correct phrase is 'act your age and not your shoe size'." Ciel's royal blue eyes flicked to Sebastian's angular face as his head snapped in the direction of that disgusting (beautiful) voice. "Though, considering how dainty his feet are, I'm sure either is an accurate statement," he added with that blasted smirk. The scowl he earned from Ciel didn't even deter him, merely caused his smirk to grow.

The little blond looked up at him, a questioning stare lighting up his pale blue eyes. A tiny "huh" passed his lips as he gave Sebastian an appraising glance.

"I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting. I'm Sebastian," he said, bowing his head slightly and offering a hand to the boy attached to his current interest.

The blond opened his mouth as if to speak, but another voice broke in, smooth and deep, with that sexy bit of underlying roughness. "Alois," was all that was said, but the blond's face lit up. Instantly he released his best friend, turning and giving a glowing smile to the man that had called his name.

"Claude!" the blond practically launched himself at the tall plum-haired man that had appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Catching the little manic ball, a tiny chuckle worked it's way up from his throat.

The two shared a very friendly hug, as Alois secretly breathed in the heady scent of Claude; tangy and sweet, like ginger and cinnamon, with a tiny hint of tobacco. It was like a drug to the blond, something he couldn't get enough of.

"You act like we haven't seen each other in years, little dove," Claude stated teasingly, though his tone held the warmth of fondness.

"It's been like a bazillion years," Alois said with a pout, looking up at his taller counterpart through his lashes.

"What nonsense. We had coffee last night." The taller of the two cracked a slight smile, which didn't seem to fit his face. He seemed the type to keep a stoic expression, never smiling or showing any emotion.

Ciel had been glaring mutinously at the two, silently fuming over the fact that Alois had abandoned him for _that_ piece of work, _twice_. Sebastian cleared his throat to gain the attention of his smaller counterpart, who shot him a dirty look.

Cracking a smirk, Sebastian laced an arm through the younger male's and pulled him along. "We're falling behind already, Ciel. We wouldn't want to face the vicious dragon that is Leffew, now would we?"

The blae-haired male sputtered indignantly, trying (and failing) to pull his arm free of Sebastian's grasp. "Unhand me, you oaf!" he hissed through thin lips, yanking hard on his arm.

The raven-haired male ignored the demand, turning his sanguine gaze back on the two males that seemed to be in their own world. "I do hate to interrupt, but the tour is starting." This statement seemed to snap the two out of whatever conversation they had been having, causing Alois' cheeks to flame brilliantly.

With a satisfied smirk, Sebastian faced forward once more, keeping the same pace as the others ahead of him, but lagging a few feet behind. He wanted to be able to converse with Ciel without being eavesdropped on, though the younger male continued to struggle in his grasp.

"I was hoping I would be able to walk with you," Sebastian said amiably, glancing down into the fierce blue eyes that glared at him angrily.

"If you release me, you'd find I would be much more agreeable," Ciel hissed, tugging harshly once more. After realising that Sebastian had no plans to let go, he sighed heavily and ceased struggling. "You're quite annoyingly strong," he mumbled under his breath, looking away and trying to focus on Leffew's voice as she explained things.

* * *

"Your friend doesn't seem to be very happy," Claude observed, twining his hand with Alois', who blushed furiously at his side.

Shrugging, he turned his cerulean eyes up to the molten gold ones. "He's not a particularly happy person, nor is he very sociable. But once you get to know him, he's much more friendly; he's even known to _smile_ sometimes. I mean sure, it's generally at the expense of someone else, and he's a bit of a spit-fire, and he's really hard to get along with, but," Alois pursed his lips, realising he wasn't arguing his best friend's case very well. "I'm going about this the wrong way. He wasn't always like this, especially when we were kids. It's just, his parents have to be part Dementor or something; they made him kind of bitter, sucking the joy right out of his life. They've never supported him, or shown him any love, or encouraged him in his pursuits. They're such unhappy people, without the capability to love. Ciel doesn't trust anyone, really, except for me. It's hard for him to open up and trust, or even love.

"I'm really worried about him, you know. He's very insecure and doesn't believe in himself. If his parents hadn't made him so desperate to find some sort of job, I don't think I would have been able to convince him to audition." Taking a deep breath, Alois shook his head. "I probably would have had to drag his stupid ass here, fighting tooth and nail. But I do know that being cast as the lead and being able to finally drag himself out from under his parents' clutches made him happy. I have a feeling that maybe he'll start opening up, and believing in himself. He deserves to have a good life," he said softly, staring at the slight back of his best friend with worry and warmth.

"He's very lucky to have a friend like you," Claude said simply, making the younger male smile. "Though, I'm not sure I would trust that man." He jerked his chin at Sebastian, eyeing him suspiciously. "Something tells me that he doesn't have good intentions."

"Ciel doesn't seem all that interested in him anyway, and if he did, well, it's his decision. All I can do is simply offer my advice and opinion, and hope he makes the right choices for himself."

"You're very mature, little dove, for someone so young." Alois squeezed tightly onto Claude's hand, his cheeks once again flushing with happiness.

* * *

Walking around the sets was like stepping straight into the Victorian Era; the furniture was beautifully crafted, and everything was elegantly placed. Sounds of awe were drawn from the cast, murmurs of excitement echoing around. Even Ciel was drawn in by the wonder of it all, temporarily forgetting that Sebastian was latched onto his arm like a leech. His eyes grew to the size of saucers as he tried to take everything in. The thing that drew him the most was the life-size replica of the streets of Victorian London; he carefully walked over the cobblestone roads, curiously glancing at the painted fronts of shops, the street lights that were oil lamps.

"This is where any scenes that take place in London will be filmed." Leffew's voice echoed around them, and Ciel turned his attention back on to her. "The shops, of course, are just painted onto plywood. They don't lead onto another set, save for the few places, like Undertaker's, that characters will actually enter. For scenes that take place on the grounds of the mansion, we'll all take a little fieldtrip to an actual mansion, which we have permission to film at. All in all, every set is extremely expensive, so please do try to not break anything. Accidents do happen, but we're hoping this will all last for the two seasons we have planned."

"The set builders have done a remarkable job, don't you agree?" Sebastian murmured in Ciel's ear, causing him to shiver deliciously. It didn't go unnoticed by the raven-haired male, and he had to fight off a smirk.

"It certainly is beautiful," the younger male agreed, too much in awe with everything to continue being vicious with Sebastian. At least, for now.

"All right, that's about all I can show you for now. When we go to the mansion for filming, we'll quickly show you around the grounds so that you become familiar with them. If you have no questions, we can go back and get started with the run-through." No one had any questions for Leffew to answer, so she merely led them back the way they had come.

"Ah, done with the tour already? Well, if everyone could have a seat, we will begin the run-through in a few minutes," the Director announced.

Sebastian finally released Ciel's arm, much to his relief, and he glanced at the long table that took up most of the room, searching for a seat. He really didn't want to sit next to Elizabeth, who was waving and trying to catch his attention. Alois had already selected a seat next to Claude, and noticing that his friend was trying to avoid the bubbly blond, he called him over.

With a grateful look flashed his way, Ciel sat down beside his best friend, giving out a weary sigh. "Thank you," he said, before chewing on his bottom lip. "And, I'm sorry for being unreasonable."

Alois only smiled at his friend, which quickly fell from his face as Sebastian walked up behind his friend, smiling politely.

"Ciel, do you mind if I take the seat next to yours? All the others are taken." He was much too close, causing Ciel to flinch slightly at the strange desire his velvety voice always seemed to strike him with.

Trying to sound indifferent, he shrugged his shoulders. "Do what you want."

This caused a smirk to curl Sebastian's lips, and he leaned down, placing his lips dangerously close to the younger male's ear. "Is that an invitation?" He whispered seductively, sanguine eyes flashing.

Almost immediately, Ciel spun around, glaring at him and hissing "hell no" with vehemence. Sebastian chuckled and sat down next to him.

"If you will all take out your scripts, we will begin. Sebastian, if you will," the Director stated, leaning back in his seat.

With a nod, Sebastian read the opening line. "Think carefully. Should you reject your faith, even this once, the gates of Paradise will forever be out of your reach."

Without even a sideways glance at Sebastian, Ciel took a deep breath and read his lines. "Do you think, one who was among the faithful, would ever go so far as to summon someone like you?"

Sebastian's chuckle made goosebumps raise on Ciel's skin. "I'll ask but once more: do you wish to form a contract with me?"

"I do!" Ciel said sharply. "Now stop asking these tedious questions and let me know if we have a deal!"

"End scene," Rorke spoke, his tone filled with boredom. "Begin the next scene."

"Master, it is time for you to wake up..."

* * *

On and on it went, nonstop for several hours, with Rorke announcing the ends and beginnings of scenes. Ciel's throat was feeling particularly raw, and he tried to gently clear his throat. His whole body ached from sitting in the same position for so long, and his stomach protested the long length in which it had gone without sustenance. Stretching out in his seat with his eyes closed, he didn't notice that Sebastian had walked off, until he felt a tap on his shoulder. Opening his royal blue orbs, the first thing he saw was Sebastian's smiling face.

"I thought you might like a snack," was all he said, that velvet voice of his wrapping around his shorter counterpart.

Ciel accepted the bottle of water and the cupcake graciously. Forgoing the water for now, he tore right into the cupcake, a moan of pure happiness rising up in his throat. He enjoyed every delectable bite of the cupcake, licking his fingers even after it was gone. He had even forgotten that Sebastian had been watching him the whole time, at least until he had leaned towards him.

"You missed a spot," he murmured, before licking the corner of Ciel's mouth free of frosting.

Stuttering with flushed face, Ciel flailed about, glaring accusingly at Sebastian, who merely chuckled. "Y-you bastard!" He finally spat, jumping out of his seat and stomping off towards the costume designers. The sooner his measurements were taken, the sooner he would be able to escape the raven-haired male.

Ciel was very much confused; Sebastian seemed to raise all sorts of conflicting emotions and feelings within him, and he did not like it one bit. All he could decide on was that Sebastian was just messing with him, that he was toying with him and seeing what kind of reactions he could get out of him. There would be no way that he could actually like him, especially with the way he kept teasing the younger male. He probably just wanted to lead Ciel on, possibly get into his pants along the way, and then ditch him. That was not going to happen, not if the blae-haired male could help it. Perhaps he'd toy with the older man. It would be a game, and he wanted so badly to break the man that was so desireable and detestable all at the same time.

With a renewed determination, Ciel let the costume designers take his measurements without much fuss. Afterwards, he caught Sebastian staring at him, and he gave the male a flirty smile.

"Beware, Sebastian. You picked the wrong person to play games with," Ciel muttered darkly as he left the building, a cruel smirk twisting his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: I'm going to take a moment to talk about Uke. A typical uke seems to be the shorter or smaller of the pair, cuter, more femme, submissive yet putting up a bit of a struggle. It seems like the stereotypical uke always struggles before they give in, which I don't know why. Since I'm not one to perpetuate stereotypes, the uke in this story will be quite different. I mean, sure Ciel and Alois are shorter, cuter, possibly the feminine types, but does that mean that they have to be totally submissive, yet half-heartedly struggle against their seme? Hell no. I don't want to get into it very much, and ruin the story, but Alois and Ciel will definitely not be your stereotypical uke. Please, please review; they make me happy to see, and they really do motivate me to write and get chapters out more frequently.
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy.


	6. Act VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here you are, the next installment of BsR! Have you all gone back and reread Act 3? Because you should, since I fixed it and made it so much better! Things sure are heating up between Sebastian and Ciel, but let's not forget about Claude and sweet Alois. The chapter after next should be a bit more mainly focused on them. Anyway, I have some seriousness to discuss with you all. My mum is planning on having our net turned off, but when and for how long, I have not a clue. So, for now, I will try to update as much as possible, since I will be going on an unexpected, unwanted and questionably-lengthed hiatus.
> 
> Nikki (Nikki-j4eva on fanfiction), this is for you! I know it's a bit early, but this and the next few chapters are a special present for you! Happy birthday! May you spend the day fruitfully and enjoy all the birthdays to come. If it wasn't for you, who knows when I would have updated next? Thank you so very much for reading and enjoying this story, which I have put so much effort into for all readers to enjoy. I appreciate you greatly!

  
**Warnings:** Vulgar Language, angst, offensive slang/slurs.

* * *

**Act VI**

"And cut!" the Director called out, beaming at the actors currently inhabiting the set. "That was wonderful!"

Ciel tugged at the collar of his costume, irritation seeping onto his face. The blasted thing was itchy and perhaps a bit too tight. It showed off his svelte figure, and he was starting to wonder if he was being sexualised by the costume designers. From the corner of his eye, he caught Sebastian looking him up and down approvingly, with that hated smirk curling his lips. _Well, he's definitely sexualizing me, the pervert,_ Ciel thought indignantly, turning his attention back to the Director.

"We're done for today, so head backstage and have your costumes removed."

Ciel sighed, slowly making his way offset, fingers toying with the bow around his neck. It wouldn't have killed the designers to make his costume a bit more comfortable, what with his sensitive skin kicking into overdrive and screaming at him to remove the offending fabric, right here and now. He tugged on the bow, loosening the knot, flinging it to the floor, forgotten. His fingers strugged with the numerous buttons, and a growl of frustration rose up.

"Would you like some assistance?" Sebastian purred in the shorter male's ear, causing a shiver to dance down his spine.

Ciel spun on one heel, in a hurry to get away from the sanguine-eyed male. His body wavered before tumbling backward, a tiny squeak leaving his throat as Sebastian caught his arm, spinning them around so that he landed on his back. His daintier counterpart let out an _oof_ as he landed on top of the tall man, clutching tightly to the lapels of his tailcoat. He closed his eyes until the wave of dizziness brought on by spinning too fast dissipated.

Fingers sliding slowly through blae hair made him tremble slightly. Nimble digits quickly untied the knot of the eyepatch, letting it fall uselessly away. Royal blue eyes opened and met sanguine ones, and tension so thick you could cut it with a knife settled over them. Sebastian's large hand fell away from Ciel's hair, but not before brushing his bangs out of his face, coming to rest on the small of his back. His other hand still clutched lightly onto his slim wrist, thumb brushing against the translucent skin that covered his veins. He could feel Ciel's racing pulse beneath his fingers, and a tiny smirk curled his lips. The younger's breath hitched in his throat, and he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, worrying it with his teeth.

"I think that eyepatch is messing up your balance," Sebastian practically purred, loving that he got to watch Ciel's reactions to his words up close.

"You idiot, that has nothing to do with my balance," he hissed, cheeks turning the loveliest shade of pink as a scowl curled his lips.

"You are naturally clumsy, then?"

His smirk grew as Ciel sputtered at the indignity, and felt the large hand of his offender brush down his spine and giving his rump a playful squeeze. Finally realising the predicament he was in, his sputtering died down and he began to squirm, tugging harshly on his wrist and smacking Sebastian in the face with his free hand.

"Unhand me, you foul beast!" He demanded, flailing even more as Sebastian's hold on him tightened.

"Is this how you thank your savior?" Sebastian said with a faux pout, lidding his eyes as he gazed up at his fuming counterpart.

Ciel snorted, glaring angrily down at the tall male. "As if. It wasn't as if I was falling to my death. You hardly _saved_ me from anything. I'm not as frail as I look. Now stop groping me, pervert!"

Finally Sebastian relented, releasing his hold on Ciel. It surprised the shorter male, who just lay there for a moment with shock written on his features.

"Are you going to lay on top of me all day? You aren't as light as you look, you know."

A snarl was ripped from the younger's throat, and he slammed his fists down on the black haired male's chest, efficiently knocking the wind out of him before scrambling to his feet. As Sebastian gasped for air, Ciel placed one dainty booted foot at the junction between his legs, heel digging roughly into his balls.

"Keep this up, and I will crush them," he said, so calmly he could have been talking about the weather. With his hands on his hips and the haughty expression painted on his face, he looked like the avenging Earl that he was portraying. "Do you understand?" He asked pleasantly, a cruel smirk curling his lips. Sebastian merely raised a brow, as if he understood but couldn't quite bring himself to care. Grinding the heel of his boot into the sensitive flesh for good measure, he drew a pained gasp from the older's lips. "You will touch me only if I invite you to do so."

With that, he removed his foot and stormed off in the direction of his changing room. Sebastian lay there for a few moments, clutching at his family jewel's. Exhilaration and adrenaline coursed through him, recalling the previous display. If anything, that little power play only enamoured him more. If before he had been intrigued and turned on by Ciel, he was now obsessed. He wanted nothing more than to break him down, make him come crawling and begging to be fucked. Such a proud creature brought to his knees... the mere thought made heat pool in Sebastian's lower stomach. At all costs, he would have him; he _had_ to have him.

"The more you deny me, the more I desire you," he murmured to himself, a faint smirk playing on his lips. He stood from the floor with questionable cleanliness, dusting off his costume, and stalked off in the opposite direction, to his own changing quarters.

* * *

"Ciel and Sebastian act extremely well together, don't you think, Claude?" Alois asked, sitting in a wooden chair, his feet not quite touching the ground. He kicked his legs back and forth, watching his best friend and the other head backstage to change.

"They certainly bring out each other's best qualities on stage, but it seems the opposite off," Claude replied with a frown.

Alois hummed in agreement, nodding his head. "The other day, when they had finished rehearsing, they got into a little tiff, though I'm not sure what about because I couldn't hear what they were saying. And, of course, Ciel tells me nothing." His lips formed a tiny pout as he cocked his head to the side.

"I don't think they could stay away from each other, even if they wanted. It's like they're undeniably drawn to each other." Claude paused and stroked the pouting blond's cheek. "And I'm not sure you can really say that he's refusing to tell you anything. It's that we've been spending a lot of time together."

"I know," Alois moaned pitifully. "Plus, he's been super busy." He sighed, shifting his weight in his seat. "I kind of wish we could start on the second season already. I mean, the Director is making us watch them act so that we might be able to better ourselves before our time comes. But it's taking so loooong."

Claude smiled at this, taking the small hand of his counterpart in his. "You complain so much, little dove."

Alois gave him a cheeky grin. "I read an article that said something about people who complain live longer. I figured I might put that theory to test." This drew a laugh from the plum-haired man, causing the younger's heart to flutter.

"Complain away then," he murmured, squeezing the soft hand before lacing their fingers.

* * *

With filming the pilot episode over and done with, Ciel felt he could finally breathe. They had all watched the final version of it, before being sent home to relax. The Director's parting words had been something along the lines of a job well done, and that they would all receive a call about the ratings, good or bad. He didn't really plan to abandon the production, no matter how atrocious the ratings for the first came out. He had sunk to much time, money, effort, and energy into it, and he would be damned if he didn't see it through. Ciel respected that about Henry; he had preserverence and determination.

Currently Ciel was lying face down on his bed, eyes closed and a frown that seemed to be becoming permanent on his lips. His mind trailed away from the pilot's airing and onto Sebastian. That bastard didn't seem to know when to quit. Even after he had nearly crushed the other's balls under his heel, he continued to pester the blae-haired boy. It was driving him crazy, and he almost regretted deciding to toy with him.

"Persistent bastard," he grumbled, voice muffled in his pillow. "I hope his dick rots off."

Rolling onto his back and staring up at his star-covered ceiling, a sigh fell from his lips. He hated Sebastian, but he hated more how inexplicably drawn to the older male he was. He told himself fiercely that he didn't want the attention of a pervert, but he kept coming back for more. It was sick, deplorable even, but he couldn't seem to help himself. He again tried to reason with himself; it was a game, and he loved games. He certainly hated to lose, and the only reason he kept subjecting himself to the behavior of the raven-haired male was because, if he backed down, he would lose. Losing was not an option.

Sebastian was also undeniably attractive, and Ciel would be lying to himself if he said that he wasn't turned on by him. Ciel was not one to lie, especially not to himself. He rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, deciding to continue on with this game. _Perhaps something good will come of it. I could use him for my own pleasure. It wouldn't really be giving into him. One such as I could never have feelings for such a loathesome man._

The ring of his cellphone cut off his thoughts, and without opening his eyes he reached out to his bedside table. Blindly flailing it around, his fingers brushed against the sleek phone, and he took it in his grasp. Hitting the answer button, he brought it up to his ear.

"Ciel! Finally. I've been texting you since I got home." The sound of Alois' cheerful voice made a smile tug at the corners of his lips. "I've been wanting to talk to you."

"Alois, it's nearly 2 in the morning. I could have been asleep," Ciel scolded, with no real heat in his voice.

"And yet you sound wide awake. Which I knew you would be, you night owl freak," Alois said, sounding smug.

"You know me so well, baby," Ciel murmured, bringing giggles out of his best friend.

"Duh, fag. We've been friends practically since birth," he exaggerated. Through the phone, the younger could hear the blond shifting around into a more comfortable position. "So, about Sebastian..."

"Such a subtle change of subject," Ciel said, allowing a heavy sarcasm bleed into his voice. "He's replusive." An unspoken _but_ seemed to hang in the air.

"Buuut?" Alois said, drawing out the word.

With a sigh, Ciel flopped onto his back. " _But_ I'm drawn to him, which is extremely aggravating, so you know. I feel like I want to beat the shit out of him, but at the same time fuck his brains out. The worst part of all this is that I think he sees me as a challenge. Some conquest to be won, and the more I reject him the harder he tries. And I kind of..." he tapered off, whispering the words. "I kind of like it."

"It's like a game," his best friend said knowingly. "And we all know how much you love games. He challenged you, and you want to meet him head on. Have you decided what you're going to do about it?"

Ciel worried his bottom lip between his teeth. Only Alois knew how incredibly weak he was, and thus he was the only one he could show his weakenesses to. "I'm scared..." the words left his lips, barely whispered.

"Ah... You like him, you might even want to be in a relationship with him. But it doesn't look like that's what he wants. It looks like he wants to break you, to own you." Alois sighed, leaning back against his pillows. "You're scared because you've lived with those wretched parents of yours, where love doesn't exist. You think that you're incapable of love, and you think that Sebastian doesn't even know that word exists. But, Ciel..." The younger closed his eyes tightly as Alois paused; he hated it when the latter voiced all his fears, and yet it was also a relief that someone knew him so well. "You are _not your parents_. You can love, and I'm proof of that. We're best friends, and our love is platonic, but it's still love."

"I know," Ciel whispered, clutching tightly to his phone. "But... But I don't want to fall for someone like him. He's not the one."

"You can't know that, Ciel," Alois murmured soothingly. "You don't know his past, or why he is the way he is. But people can change, Ciel. He might not be worthy of your love now, but that can all change. Just... try to be careful. I don't want to see you anymore hurt and broken than you already are. He's toxic right now, he's no good. I won't tell you to stay away from him, because you make your own decisions, but please be careful."

"I will, I promise," Ciel said, a sad smile playing over his lips. _A little to late for that, I think._ "He's going to be my toy, nothing more. I won't fall for him." A little more forcefully he added, "I _refuse._ "

Alois shook his head, a tiny sigh leaving him. The sound of the bathroom door opening caught his attention, and he sat up on his bed. "Okay, princess. I have to go now, so try to get some sleep. Goodnight."

"Goodnight to you too, baby."

Alois set his phone down next to him, running his fingers through his hair as a frown marred his lovely features.

"Was that your friend?" Claude asked, stepping into the doorway. He was dressed in flannel pajama pants, but nothing else.

His shorter counterpart nodded, looking up with worry in his eyes. "I did my part. I can only hope that he's careful."

The older male gave a grave nod, walking over to the other side of the bed and lying down, pulling Alois towards him. "Try not to worry too much, little dove. Everything might work out in the end." Alois practically melted into the warmth of Claude, burying his face in the crook of his neck and inhaling his delicious scent. As sleep took him, his last thoughts were of Ciel, and wishing beyond all hope that Sebastian could somehow mend his friend-instead of destroying him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: Isn't Alois just a sweetheart? I do love that boy dearly. He's there for Ciel when he really needs him, cares and worries about him, and isn't that what friends are really for? Anywho, sorry for ending on such a downer, but alas, the next chapter shall be amazing! Do I sense smut in your future? Possibly, darlings, possibly. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, as I've enjoyed writing it for you. Please do review and tell me what you think! I also apologize for any spelling errors.
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy.


	7. Act VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Double update! Am I not the nicest writer? I mean, I feel like half of this chapter is basically bullshit, and I'm only including it to make way for smut to ensue, and also it's a tad on the short side, but what the hell. Who doesn't love some smut and meaningless plot building (and short chapters)? I don't really know how ratings work, so I've skimmed over that a bit. All I know is that if you don't get high enough ratings on a pilot, your show is cancelled. And it may not work that way for a series, but I sure as hell don't care; I do what I want, and it is quite pleasing. Enough of my bullshit babble, enjoy!

  
**Warnings:** Vulgar Language, smut, alcoholic consumption.

* * *

**Act VII**

The cast was congregating in the center of the room, nervous chatter echoing around them. Leffew had called them all in, after last night's airing of the pilot episode of Black Butler, to discuss the ratings. Currently she and Rorke were in the room with them, waiting patiently for the Director to get off the phone and join the group. Quite suddenly, the door burst open as the Director joyfully bounded in. Excitement errupted throughout the room without him even having to say anything; his demeanor told all. Cheers and happy shouts pierced the air, as the members of the cast all hugged and congradulated each other. Ciel pressed himself against the wall and out of the reach of the others, fearing that he would have the life squeezed out of him. Alois practically attacked him and tugged him into a fierce hug, crying on and on about how proud he was of him. Claude stepped in and pried the blond off of his best friend, instead taking the brunt of his fierce hugs. Ciel gasped for air and shot Claude a grateful look.

"I think this calls for a celebratory party!" The Director shouted above the cachophony, which made the cheering all the more loud. They all converged on the door and one by one exited the room, discussing where to go, and settling on visiting a hotel once more. Leffew talked animatedly about renting out rooms and a ballroom.

Ciel sighed wearily; it looked like he had another long night ahead of him.

* * *

The hotel they ended up at was not as fancy as the first, but it suited their needs. The Director was arguing with the staff about there not being enough rooms for the whole cast and how to solve the problem. Eventually they settled on room-sharing, and Henry came over to decide who would room with whom. After much debating, everyone was happy with the person they would be sharing rooms with. Everyone, except for Ciel. It was decided that he and Sebsastian would be rooming together that night, despite all his protesting. With a sigh, he stuffed his keycard into his pocket and shot a mutinous look at the raven-haired male. It was his fault that Ciel was being punished with his presense, as he was the first to volunteer them as a pair. Alois was practically on cloud nine, joy practically oozing out of him at getting to share a room with Claude. The dour boy wrinkled his nose in distaste, images of what they would be doing in that room bombarding him.

With the whole room debacle behind them, they headed to the ballroom, where drinks were served generously and music blared. All too soon, bodies were gyrating together, hands clutching glasses filled with drinks of their choice. At the back of the room, a bar sat, innumerable alcoholic beverages at hand. The bartender, who had been bored-looking and cleaning a glass, seemed slightly more awake with the sudden influx of people. Ciel made his way through the tightly pakced bodies, approaching the bar, before hopping onto a stool.

"I'd like a Screaming Orgasm, please," he shouted over the music.

The bartender-Sven, his nametag read-gave Ciel a once-over, before an approving glint flashed in his eyes. "Whatever you want."

Ciel gave a flirty smile, leaning heavily against the counter. "Is that an invitation?" He practically purred, royal blue eyes meeting the muddy brown ones of Sven.

The bartender gave him a suggestive look, but said nothing more as he mixed the drink that Ciel had asked for.

"I'll have what he's having," Sebastian said, voice like velvet as he sat down on the stool next to the petite male. He hadn't missed the dangerous edge in his tone, and apparently neither had Sven. He quickly served the drinks, no longer looking at Ciel, which made the boy frown.

"You're ruining my fun," he announced with a huff, downing his drink like it was water.

Sebastian merely smirked at him, copying the way he had slammed back the liquer. An idea popped up in the younger's head, and he had to hide a vindictive leer. Instead, he turned towards Sebastian, looking up at him through his thick lashes.

"Do you want to know something?" He asked sweetly, his head cocked to the side in an image of faux innocence. When the older male quirked a brow skeptically but nodded his head, Ciel leaned closer, his soft lips brushing against the shell of his ear. A shiver ran through the other, and Ciel purred softly. "The Screaming Orgasm? That's what I taste like." His breath fanned out over Sebastian's cheek after he flicked his tongue against his lobe, and pulled away slightly.

Ciel peered down, and catching the sight of his counterpart's erection straining against his pants, let a victorious smile break out on his lips. Maybe this night would actually be enjoyable.

Several Screaming Orgasms, shots of tequila, and a pint of rum later, Sebastian was intoxicated, but not so much that he couldn't think coherently or control his actions. Ciel, on the other hand, was merely buzzed; pleasantly at that. It was giving him the courage to act out the next bit of his diabolical plan. The aching need between his legs was spurring him on, as was the alcohol thrumming through his veins. _Time to test out how amazing my acting abilities really are_.

Sebastian was watching Ciel as closely as his muddled brain would allow him. It seemed to him that the boy was drunk; he was swaying slightly, and his eyes were glazed over, but something in the back of his drunken head was nagging at him. Disregarding it for now, he lightly touched Ciel's arm, trying to gain his attention. After a few moments, the blae-haired male turned to him, seeming to be struggling with keeping his balance.

"You look like you're about ready to pass out," he paused, allowing the youth time to process his words. When he looked like he had figured them out, the elder continued. "Would you like to head up to our room now?"

Ciel blinked slowly, swaying a little, then nodded. Sebastian helped him stand, and when they began walking, the petite male stumbled. Sebastian caught him and wrapped an arm around his small waist. The blue-eyed youth leaned heavily against him, his hands clutching tightly onto the side of his shirt, as if he were afraid that he would trip and faceplant at any moment. He allowed the older male to lead him to the elevator, where they slowly ascended to their floor. After the doors opened once more, they haultingly made their way down the hall until they stood outside of their room door. Ciel lowered a hand and began fumbling with his pocket, trying and failing to remove the keycard. Something still nagged at Sebastian in the back of his mind, something important, as he pushed the youth's hands gently out of the way. With little trouble, he tugged out the card and unlocked their door.

Leading the drunken Ciel over to a chair, he murmured to him to wait there while he readied the bed. _Of course this room only has one bed; how convenient,_ he mused to himself as he watched Sebastian turn back the covers. Once that was done, he helped Ciel out of his shoes and led him over to the bed.

_Here goes nothing_. Ciel looked up at the taller man and pouted out his lips. "I cannn't shleep like dish," he whined, slurring his words as if he were truly drunk. "Too many c-clothes," he stuttered over the word as he forced himself to try and sound a little more coherent.

Sebastian smiled at him, an unknown and strange feeling in his chest, as he tugged the shirt off. Off came his pants and socks, and Ciel swayed there clad only in boxers. He was too adorable for words, completely drunk and pouty. Sebastian decided that he liked this side of the many-faceted Ciel. He gently coaxed the youth to lie down, before stripping himself down to boxers. The blae-haired boy inwardly smiled, squirming a little more to the right to give his counterpart room to lie down as well. His hand clumsily patted the bed, another insufferably adorable pout on his lips, as if demanding that Sebastian hurry and join him. Not one to look a gift-horse in the mouth, he slid into the bed, drawing the petite boy into his arms.

Ciel snuggled into him, purring and curling his arms around his waist. "S'warm," he mumbled as he nuzzled his cheek against Sebastian's chiseled chest.

Sebastian chuckled warmly, and the sound reverberated in his chest, causing shivers to dance over the youth's skin in anticipation. His heart pounded against his ribcage in excitement of what he was about to do. Slowly he lifted his head, gazing up at the older male's dimly lit face and into those hypnotic sanguine eyes. They drew him in as Sebastian met his gaze, and his breath hitched.

"Kiss me," he whispered, causing the taller man to jolt with surprise.

"I'm not quite sure I heard you right, Ciel," he said, his tone laced with uncertainty.

"Yes, you did. Now kiss me."

Sebastian complied, pulling the youth closer before claiming those tantalizing lips with his own. How many times he had fantasized about this, and it was finally happening, but mere fantasy could not compete with the actual feeling. His tongue ran along the soft flesh, seeking entry, and when Ciel parted his lips slightly, the wet muscle slipped between them, exploring the most cavern leisurely. He wanted to commit everything to memory, the feeling of the dainty male against him, his heady scent, the taste of the alcohol on his breath. Ciel purred, his tongue meeting Sebastian's, and the two muscles danced together languidly. Releasing his hold on the strong waist, his small hand slid slowly up the pale skin of his chest, fingers tracing imaginary patterns and nails lightly scratching. The kiss became more passionate, hungry for the feel of one another, and their tongues battled for dominance.

Ciel grabbed Sebastian's wrists and tugged his hands down, making him grasp his hips as he straddled his waist, all without breaking the kiss. He rolled his hips teasingly into the elder's making him hiss into his mouth sharply at the sudden pleasurable feeling. The youth broke the kiss, sitting up straight and gasping slightly for air. Sebastian could feel his tinier counterpart's erection pressing into him, and gazed up with lustfilled eyes at those piercing royal blue ones. No longer glazed with alcohol, they seemed entirely lucid, and Ciel was quite balanced on his lap, hands pressed into his chest.

Suddenly that nagging feeling snapped, and he tilted his head to the side in sudden realisation. "You're not drunk, are you." It wasn't a question, and Ciel didn't voice an answer either. It was now blatantly obvious how barely buzzed Ciel was; he couldn't get drunk, despite his petite frame.

Sebastian squeezed the boy's hips, and just before he released them, Ciel spoke. "Now that that's been cleared, are you going to fuck me or not?" To accentuate his demanded question, he grinded his ass against Sebastian's rock hard erection.

"I think you've just answered your own question," the elder said with a smirk curling his lips and a brow raised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: I know, I'm a horriblly evil tease. Yes, this chapter is short, but it's quite delicious in itself, don't you think? I promise you smut in the next chapter to make up for my evil deeds. If you want this smut faster, you might consider leaving me wonderful reviews that always inspire and motivate me to get my arse in gear. Of course, I'm not dangling the next chapter over your head like some despicable twat, I'm still going to post it, and preferably soon, because I still have no idea when my net will be cut out or when it will be back. All I know is that if I want to update, it's going to have to be from the library, ugh. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the library, but having to trek out there just to update? I must love you darling readers to even consider it. Also, next chapter is going to be entirely smut, with no plot to get in the way. They might end up going for several rounds, who knows, it just depends on how creative I am. And I promise you, the chapter after next with be entirely Alois-and-Claude-centric. I have plans for them, you see. Trouble in paradise? Not too much though, my poor sweet Alois deserves a happy ending. That's all for now~
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy


	8. Act VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As promised, a chapter of nothing but delicious smut. I'm sorry if it's not the best, but I tried, and it's only the 5th or 6th time I've written such a scene? Anyway, I hope you find this enjoyable, nonetheless, because I had a lot of fun writing this for you all. Nikki, is this a better birthday present?
> 
> This chapter is brought to you by the song FLMYHM by Seether, so give it a listen while you read, if you'd like. I listened to it the whole time I wrote this because I was trying to convey the passionate sex of people that hate/love each other.

Warnings: Vulgar language, (descriptive) smut, yaoi.

* * *

**Act VIII**

The hotel room was dark and messy, as clothes had been strewn hastily on the floor, and the blankets thrown haphazardly from the sole bed. The sound of fabric shifting pierced the silent air, and a pair of black boxers were tossed at random, landing atop a lampshade. The pillows on the bed were askew, hanging precariously off the edge. The dainty male slid off for a moment, his royal blue eyes meeting the lust-filled sanguine ones as he slowly pushed his boxers down. They fell uselessly to the floor, and Ciel stepped out of them. Sebastian had merely kissed him and had squeezed his hips for a moment, and yet his dick was fully hard, standing at attention and leaking precum from the slit. He allowed the older male a few moments to take in the godly sight of his naked body, before crawling back onto the bed and slipping between his muscled thighs.

"You're quite large," he hummed approvingly, running his fingers along the thick length of Sebastian's throbbing dick. The light hitting the underside of the head made a bit of metal flash, and Ciel purred excitedly. "You've got a piercing." His eyes danced with delight at the discovery.

A pleasant shiver ran through the older male, his eyes focusing on the youth's doll-like face. He forced himself to watch as Ciel's little pink tongue flicked out and brushed against the tip of his dick, collecting a small sample of precum, before darting back into his mouth. He savored the flavor, his eyes closing momentarily before opening once more. A tiny smirk curled his full lips as he pressed a soft kiss to the weeping head. Sebastian opened his mouth to say something, but his words were drowned in a gutteral groan as Ciel swiftly took the whole head into his mouth. His tongue ran along the tip, swirling around the head. He took the hoop between his teeth and tugged lightly before releasing it and flicking it with his tongue. This brought another tortured moan from the man at his mercy, leaving his skin tingling. He slowly swallowed the whole length, loosening his jaw and suppressing his reflux to gag. The tip hit the back of his throat, and he purred, sending deliciously pleasurable vibrations all along the length. Sebastian gripped at the sheets, trying to hold himself back from fucking the younger male's throat like he so wanted to do. Ciel could feel the tension in his counterpart, and he released the dick with a sloppy pop.

"Scared I can't handle it? I'm sure I've told you before that I'm not as fragile as I look." He once again tugged on the frenulum piercing with his teeth, a little more harshly. "Fuck me like you hate me," he growled, his words laced with the rage, hate, and lust that he felt for Sebastian.

"Much obliged," Sebastian murmured, eyes flashing with murderous intent.

Long fingers ran through blae hair before gripping onto it tightly, forcing the open mouth down and slamming his dick against the back of his throat. Ciel reminded himself to breathe evenly through his nose and to slacken his jaw while Sebastian thrust without mercy into his mouth, yanking his head up and down to the same rhythm. He moaned, digging his nails into the other's thighs, roughly scratching down and possibly drawing blood. Being manhandled was a major turn on for him, and he reached down, stroking his own throbbing need a few times to give it some relief. Ciel flattened his tongue, rubbing his tongue against the underside of the massive dick that was repeatedly penetrating his mouth and jabbing the back of his throat with bruising force. Without warning, Sebastian came, releasing his seed deep within the youth's throat. Ciel swallowed as much as he could without gagging while his panting counterpart used his mouth to milk out every last drop. When his head was released, he pulled back, gasping for air.

The two stared at each other while they caught their breath, the sexual tension still heavy in the air. After his breathing was under control, Ciel smirked, sticking two fingers in his mouth. He leaned back on his free arm, spreading his legs to give Sebastian a full view. His flaccid dick was slowly pulsing back to life, and as Ciel circled his fingers around the rosy ring of his entrance, it gave a little jerk. Not breaking eye contact, Ciel pressed the tip of his index finger against the entrance, slowly piercing his tight hole. He bit into his bottom lip, flexing the digit inside himself, tiny shivers dancing over him. Thrusting the digit in and out, a tiny moan rolled off his tongue, the sound sending heat straight into Sebastian's lower stomach, pooling there. In all his life, he didn't think that he'd ever seen something as sexy and seductive as Ciel preparing himself for the fucking of his lifetime.

His blue eyes flickered down, a half-smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. "Already hard again?"

Ciel let out a yelp of shock as Sebastian grabbed his ankle and yanked him towards him, removing his finger from his hole with a slurping pop. Bringing the digit up to his lips, he flicked his tongue against it before sucking it into his mouth. An approving groan tumbled from him as he released the finger.

His brow quirked and a smirk curled his lips. "So you weren't lying about your flavour..."

Sebastian slicked his own fingers with saliva by shoving them into Ciel's gaping mouth. After they were sufficiently wet, he removed them, and without any preamble pressed two digits against Ciel's puckered entrance. Pushing them in, he scissored the two digits, trying to stretch the tight hole. The youth gave a strangled moan, his head flopping backwards against the mattress as he panted for breath.

"So tight," Sebastian purred approving, working his fingers inside of Ciel. When the muscles relaxed enough, he slipped in a third finger. Thrusting them in and out in a swift rhythm, he had Ciel keening like a wanton whore.

"S-stop... just... fuck me," the petite male demanded breathily, his body aching with need. He had been craving this for too long to put up with the prepping bullshit.

The elder chuckled with a shake of his head. "What an impatient kitten you are." Still, he removed his fingers as per Ciel's request.

Sebastian positioned himself between Ciel's legs, lining up the head of his dick with the quivering entrance. Tiny fingers dug into and gripped the sheets tightly as the massive head began penetrating the tight hole. A strangled sound got stuck in the youth's throat as tears of pain pricked at the corners of his eyes. Sebastian sheathed himself within Ciel with an agonizing slowness, pausing to give him time to adjust as he breathed raggedly. The younger was extremely tight, almost painfully so, as the muscles contracted harshly. He willed himself to relax, giving the elder a slight nod as permission to move. Sebastian pulled out until only the head was left inside before thrusting back in swiftly. The head prushed against the little bundle of nerves, and Ciel's mouth formed an 'o' from the sudden pleasure, but no sound came out.

Once certain that Ciel was no longer feeling pain, Sebastian started to rhythmically pound into him. Raw, animalistic moans bubbled up from within, passing petal-like lips at the immense pleasure the youth was experiencing. Arching his back sharply and rocking his hips into the tall man's pelvis in time with the thrusts, Ciel's moans increased in volume each and every time the head hit his prostate. His fingernails ripped through the sheets, digging painfully into his palms and drawing blood. Sebastian uncurled his fingers and led his hands up to his broad shoulders all without losing the power or pace of his thrusts. Ciel dug his nails into the unmarred flesh, dragging them down sharply as his pleasure grew with the increasing speed. His older counterpart grasped his dick with a firm hold and began stroking him in time with his impaling of the youth.

"F-fuck..." Ciel moaned fiercely, his nails piercing the flesh of Sebastian's sides.

The pain spurred him on, and he slammed harder and faster into the hot hole; it seemed to suck him in hungrily, and he could only comply.

"C...oming..." the petite male hiccuped the word in between groans. An instant later, his seed spurt out, coating his own and Sebastian's chest.

Sebastian continued to mercilessly pound into Ciel's spent body, his own orgasm coming to a head. Burying himself deep within the twitching hole, he was pushed over the edge, realeasing his seed with a raw groan. Regretably pulling out his softening dick, he collapsed on his side, closing his eyes as he tried to even out his breathing. Ciel was still riding out his orgasm, his eyes hazy as the aftershocks intensified every sensation.

Sanguine eyes opened and looked over lethargically at the flushed face of the blae-haired male. After a few moments of silence, Ciel turned to him, gaze full of a fiery passion.

"Don't think you're off the hook. I've yet to have my fill," he said matter-of-factly, rolling onto his side and pursing his lips.

Sebastian smirked, a breathy laugh leaving him. "Give me a minute to recover," was his simple reply.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, the older male was lying on his back, head resting on a salvaged pillow. Ciel was once again straddling his waist, fingers splayed out on his chest.

"You're insatiable," Sebastian decided aloud, his tone approving.

"Perhaps," Ciel smirked, haughty. He leaned closer, lips barely brushing against the other's, his breath fanning out. "When the night is done, I will leave you craving only me." The words sounded a bit like a threatening promise, one that sent pleasing shivers running up Sebastian's spine.

"Naturally," he hummed, his eyes glinting with a dark humor. "Now fuck me like you hate me."

Ciel snorted, hand reaching below himself and taking hold of the monstrousity his counterpart called a dick. With the help of his hand, he lined up his entrance with the tip. He waited until Sebastian gave an impatient sound, rocking his hips up slightly and nudging the rosy ring. Without any preamble, Ciel sank down, fully impaling himself with a suppressed moan. He placed his hand back on the chiseled chest, rolling his hips without warning. Sebastian bit his lip, sucking in a sharp breath; he found this position to be most agreeable, and even after the insane fucking he just gave the youth, he was still amazingly tight. Ciel was riding his dick like his life depended on it, and even he couldn't stop himself from moaning. Long, slender fingers took those tiny hips in a bruising grip, helping the youth to pick up his pace. He rolled and rocked his pelvis, giving Sebastian the ride of his life. A victorious smile painted over his lips momentarily before it was consumed in their burning passion. It wasn't long until the elder male came first, another small victory for his counterpart, before he, too, orgasmed.

Ciel collapsed on top of Sebastian, breathing raggedly, his body limp and trembling. He felt the flaccid member slipping out of his twitching hole, and he groaned at the loss of it. Sebastian chuckled breathily, arms encircling the dainty male.

"I think that is enough for tonight, kitten," he murmured against the fur-soft blae locks. Ciel merely grunted in agreement, snuggling into the sweaty and warm body. In no time at all, he was fast asleep, blissfully comfortable being held by the strong arms of Sebastian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: I've decided that scissor and rhythm are weirdly spelled words. Seriously they just are fucking weird. Rhythm doesn't even have any vowels (I don't count 'y' as a vowel), and scissor just what ok. Anyway, frenulum piercings. If you don't know what that is, look it up (if you dare because frankly, some people have really ugly dicks, ew). They're basically piercings on the underside of the dick, right beneath the head on the frenulum, which is like this stretch of skin. You know how when you curl your tongue back and there's that thin little bit of skin underneath it? It's kind of like that. But, frenulum piercings to me are the fucking sexiest thing a guy could have, I don't know why, but they are so damn hot. I feel like you'd have to be really brave to get one because you're essentially getting a needle stabbed into your dick. But on the right dick, they're amazingly hot. Enough of my blather, I hope you enjoyed this smutty chapter. Next up, relationship development with Alois and Claude. I love you all, please review, darlings! (Apologies for any spelling errors, and if this smut is just awful, the worst smut you've ever read.)
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy.


	9. Act IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another double update! It's because I love you all so much, little doves/sweet kittens (PICK YOUR SIDE). Anyways, get ready for some feels~ because they're a' coming, regardless of if you are prepared or not. I know this is pretty short (hell, all my chapters are "pretty short", sorry about that) but I hope that it's enjoyable enough that you can overlook that. There's little tiny mentions of Ciel's and Alois' pasts in this, but I'm not going to get too in depth. That will be for later (maybe, if I'm not a lazy twat). Anywho, enough of my chattering. Enjoy!

  
**Warnings:** Vulgar language, fluff, angst, feels.

* * *

**Act IX**

The last time Alois had seen Ciel, he had been conversing with the Director, something about being sick. He had certainly _sounded_ sick, what with how his voice made him think of a cat with it's nuts stuck in a circular fan; it was rough and kept tapering off as if he was losing it. The Director ended up giving him a few days off, and Ciel had limped out of the studio. Limped! It was worrying the manic blond to no end, because he still hadn't had the chance to talk with his best friend, and he was pretty sure that the reason he was so bedraggled was Sebastian. He had witnessed them leaving the party together, with an extremely drunk-looking Ciel glued to his side. It didn't even sound right that the blae-haired boy was drunk, because it was physically impossible for that to happen. He had an amazingly high tolerancy for alcohol, what with his family having a glass or two of wine at every meal ever since Ciel could walk.

Alois could remember all the parties they had attended in high school where Ciel would drink guys 3 times his size under the table. He never vomited, never slurred his speech, never got anything but a buzz. It didn't matter how much he drank or for how long, he had an iron stomach. The only thing he could think of that sounded logical was that Ciel had been pretending to be drunk, but for what purpose? Suddenly, it hit the blond in the stomach like a ton of bricks; it had to have been because his best friend was trying to get Sebastian's guard down enough to seduce him. He had probably had sex with that giant, and that thought made Alois' stomach turn with anxiety.

His phone rang, snapping him out of his worrisome thoughts. Jumping up off his tan leather couch, he waltzed over to the kitchen island, a fleeting hope that it would be Ciel. He wanted so badly to talk with his best friend, and after two days of silence, it would be nice to put his consuming worries to rest. Though it wasn't Ciel, he was not at all disappointed to see Claude's name on the screen. He quickly hit the talk button and brought it up to his ear, giving a cheery hello.

"Would you like to go on a date, little dove?" He asked without any preamble, bringing a smile to the blond's lips. He loved that Claude didn't beat around the bush.

"I'd love that. Pick me up in an hour?"

After they hung up, Alois danced to his room, searching through his massive amount of clothes, trying to find the perfect outfit. He settled on a dusty blue cashmere sweater, tight short shorts the color of Claude's hair, and a pair of worn converse. He brushed his feather-soft hair and applied a light coat of mascara to make his eyes pop. A quick dash of lipgloss and he was ready. He sat impatiently on his couch, practically bouncing out of his seat. All thoughts of Ciel and his downward spiral were efficiently pushed to the back of his mind, replaced with excitement for his date.

Three knocks on his front door announced Claude's presense, and he anout flew out of his seat and over to the door. Alois smiled brightly as he opened it to reveal the impeccably dressed golden-eyed male. He was ready to melt into a puddle when Claude took his hand and led him outside, locking his door for him.

"I got us tickets for a show, but since we have time before it starts, I thought we could get some coffee. Afterwards, would you like to have dinner?"

"Of course, Claude," Alois gushed, entwining their fingers. The coffee shop that they always went to in the month that they had been dating was only a couple of blocks from his house. Still, they took Claude's sleek black car, since they were going to head into town to catch the movie.

Once inside, the smell of coffee and pastries tickled the blond's nose, and he sighed contentedly. Claude ordered a black coffee, and Alois got a mocha frappe with a couple extra shots of espresso. The taller man rolled his eyes and joked about how his counterpart didn't need the extra caffeine. They picked the corner table, sitting down with their drinks and just enjoying each other's company. The best part about being with Claude is that he didn't feel the need to fill in every silence with his mindless chatter, because it was completely comfortable. The only other person he could enjoy silence with was Ciel; with everyone else, if there was a lull in conversation, he got anxious and would start psychobabbling about meaningless things. Silence was not something he did well with.

"Your friend is sick, isn't he?" Claude asked, the first to break the silence.

"I'm not so sure about that," Alois bit his lip, looking down at the cup he twirled between his hands.

Claude nodded knowingly, a sigh on his lips. "I didn't think so either. Have you had the chance to talk to him?"

Running slim fingers through his blond hair in frustration, he shook his head. "He hasn't tried to call me. I'm going crazy with worry. I feel like he's just made a huge mistake." He looked up as Claude took his hand and released his finger's hold on the locks.

"Let's not worry about that, little dove. Just release your worries for now and enjoy yourself." Alois gave the man a grateful smile and squeezed his hands. He was so lucky to have such a sweet and caring man. "The show is going to start soon," he announced, leading the blond out of the coffee shop, their half-consumed drinks left behind on the table, forgotten.

* * *

After the movie and dinner, the two walked around downtown, window shopping. Claude surprised Alois by pulling him to a stop and bringing his lips to his, giving him a warm kiss. It left Alois breathless and with flushed cheeks. As it was getting darker, Claude suggested that they return home. When he pulled up in front of Alois' house, the blond turned to him, his cerulean eyes begging.

"Will you stay the night?" He asked, holding his breath as he waited for the answer. He didn't want to be alone right now.

"Anything you want, little dove," Claude replied, his voice full of a loving warmth.

Once inside, Alois pulled Claude towards him, standing on toptoes to kiss him. His lips parted as his taller counterpart's tongue prodded them, seeking entry. The muscles danced together in earnest, exploring each other's mouths as the plum-haired male's arms circled around the youth's back. Alois purred delighted into the kiss, arms tightly wound around his strong neck. They slowly trailed towards the couch where they fell, the elder on top of the youth. The kiss changed from sweet and gentle to passionate and hungry, and Alois could feel Claude's hand trailing up his side. He shivered in delight, his mind raising with the high that being with Claude gave him. He hoped tonight would be the night that they would finally have sex; he had never abstained from sex for so long into a relationship, and it was starting to worry him.

Sadly, Claude broke off the kiss, closing his eyes and gasping for air. He sat up, leaving Alois lying there panting, as he tried to control his urges. It broke the blond's heart, and he bit his lip; he felt like he was being rejected, time and time again. When their makeout sessions got to this point, Claude would always stop, removing himself from his person and make sure they weren't touching. The elder stood, heading into the kitchen as he called back that he was getting a drink.

Alois could feel tears filling his eyes as a lump grew in his throat. He had broken down and confessed to Claude that all his "relationships" had ever been about was sex. He was used, and in return he used. He had never been with someone who had genuinely cared about him, but with people who had only desired the pleasures of the flesh. Maybe that was why Claude wouldn't have sex with him, because he thought he was filthy, a dirty thing, with semen-begging eyes. He probably didn't want him that way, or any way at all, and it hurt him more than anything had ever hurt him in his life.

Slowly, the youth sat up, trailing into the kitchen after Claude.

"Did you want something to drink as well?" The plum-haired man asked when he heard the soft footsteps of his counterpart.

"Why won't you have sex with me?" Alois asked, gaze glued to the floor as his hair fell into his face, hiding his eyes.

"What was that, little dove?" Claude asked, sounding unsure.

The petite male took a deep breath, looking up at him even though it hurt to do so. "I asked why you won't have sex with me." His voice wavered and his lower lip trembled. "You think I'm disgusting, right? Because I'm not a virgin? Because I've fucked countless men? Do you not... want me? Is that why you only kiss me? Why you stop touching me when you break off our kisses?" Tears spilled over his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. "That must be it. I'm vile, filthy, unworthy of your love or your touch. And I know it, I know I'm all those things," he sobbed, his eyes falling back to the floor because it hurt too much to look at the man he was falling in love with.

He heard footsteps approaching him, and felt the large warm hands cup his cheeks. They gently forced his head to tilt back, waiting until his watery eyes met the golden ones.

"Little dove... Alois, I do not think any of those things. We haven't had sex yet, because I want to show you that what we have is so much deeper than that. I want you to see that I care about you, that I love you for who you are, and not what your body can offer me." His thumbs wiped away the trails of tears, brushing back the blond locks that had fallen into his face. "You are so far from disgusting... Your past doesn't define who you are today. Those men don't matter, because here in the present, we're together. It's you and me, baby."

"S-so you don't hate me?" Alois whispered, his eyes pleading.

"I could never hate you," Claude murmured comfortingly. As if to prove his point, he kissed the shorter male's forehead, then each of his eyes and cheeks, the tip of his nose, before brushing them against his lips. "Please don't cry, little dove. It breaks my heart to see you in such pain."

Alois clutched onto Claude as if his life depended on it, and he hiccuped, trying to calm down. After a while, the tears stopped flowing and his hiccups faded. "Let's go to sleep," he murmured softly, wanting nothing more than to be held against and reassured by the older male.

Claude scooped Alois up into his arms bridal style, and cradling him against his chest, carried him to his bedroom. They shed their clothes, leaving on their boxers, before crawling into the bed. Alois pressed into Claude, head resting in the crook of his neck as strong arms wrapped around him. A large hand stroked his hair as his eyelids began to droop. Before sleep claimed the blond, his last thought was _I'm falling in love with him, hard and fast..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: Ah, so sweet. This is how Claude should be, forever. I hate him for what he did to Alois in the anime. I really do, especially because of how much Alois loved him, and wanted his love in return. Anyways, this is definitely my second favorite pairing, and their relationship in this story is just so fluffy and heartwarming. See what I mean that Alois is experiencing a healthy relationship? That's all for now, little doves and sweet kittens. I apologize for any spelling errors, I'll get around to fixing them eventually. I'm also sorry if this is crap, I'm really just pouring little bits of myself into this story as I write. Please, please review, and make my day!
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy


	10. Act X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, I just discovered something recently! There is a third season of Black Butler, which just stated airing this month! It was announced in January that their was a third season (Black Butler: Book of Circus) in the making, and that it would begin airing in July. I've watched the first and second episode, and let me tell you, they do not disappoint. It's following the circus arc, so it's basically picking up from episode 15 from season one, the ending of the curry arc, where it should have been in the first place. A whole season dedicated to the circus arc! Are you guys excite?! I am, and I'm also super motivated and inspired. I'm going to try and pump out as many chapters as I can! On another note, I am a sorry excuse for a writer! I haven't kept my promise about updating as much as possible. I seriously suck, but to all those who support me, review, and anticipate each new chapter, thank you so much. I am nothing without any of you, because, while it is my passion to write, all I want is for my readers to enjoy what I create. Since I have the basic layout for the next chapter, it should be up in a few days (cross your fingers). Also, I've decided not to focus too much on what goes on during the makings of the episodes, unless I find it to be important. My main focus is to develop the relationships, and have the characters grow. The only reason I would incorporate them acting out one of the episodes is because it is an important plot point. Anyway, enough of my psychobabble. Please enjoy!

Warnings: A bit of angst, some fluffy shit, some language, mentions of alcohol consumption.

* * *

**Act X**

Alois was worried for Ciel, more than he had ever been in his life. He had noticed in the last month, as the first season was beginning to wind down, that the younger male had begun keeping his distance from the blond, seeming to isolate himself from everyone. Everyone, that is, except for Sebastian.

"It's all my fault," Alois whimpered to himself in between sobs. "I'm pushing him away by butting into his life." The blond covered his face with his hands and tried to muffle his soft cries; Claude was asleep in the other room, and he didn't want to wake or worry him.

"What is troubling you, little dove?" Claude's voice came from behind the bathroom door, but Alois couldn't find his voice.

The door slowly opened and Claude sat himself on the ground next to his younger counterpart, an arm curling aroung the shaking shoulders. Alois let his head fall on the strong shoulder and took comfort in the warm presence. When his sobs died down to hiccups, he finally spoke.

"I feel like I'm losing Ciel, and it's my fault because I keep trying to convince him to stay away from Sebastian. I just have this horible feeling that something bad is going to happen if they keep being drawn together like this. He's going to get hurt," he whimpered, closing his eyes tightly as a wave of dread swept over him.

Claude rubbed circle's on the small of the blond's back, a small frown curling the corners of his mouth. "Let him have his space; he'll talk to you when he needs to. But it won't help to push him. He's going to do what he wants to, right?" Here Alois nodded, a sigh heavy on his lips. "Then don't try to stop him, but make it clear to him that whenever he needs you, you'll be there for him."

"O-okay," Alois hiccuped, a little bit of relief filling him.

He allowed Claude to help him stand and lead him back into the bedroom. Picking up his phone, the blond sent a short text to Ciel, telling him that no matter what, Alois would support his choices and always be there for him. Feeling infinitesmally better, he placed his phone back on the end table and plopped onto his bed, immediately seeking out Claude's warmth. Strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him close, and Alois laid his head upon the muscular chest. The sound of Claude's heart relaxed him and began lulling him to sleep.

 _Everything will be okay; everything will work out in the end,_ was his last thought before unconsciousness overtook him. He didn't know how, but he just had a feeling that no matter how bad things got, or when shit would hit the fan, but he knew without a doubt that after everything was over, it would be okay.

* * *

It had been several months since Ciel had taken those days off to recover from the amazing sex he had with Sebastian. Though he had not wanted to take time off, he hadn't had a choice at the time; the back of his throat was painfully bruised, and his voice would fade in and out. He had abused his vocal cords, along with his body, and a few days' rest was necessary. He wasn't quite sure if the Director had figured out the true reason he was "sick", but he hoped not. It would make things quite awkward for Ciel if anyone found out about what he was doing with his co-actor. He was certain that Sebastian would not care in the least if others knew, because he would be able to claim him as his property. Alois and Claude may be able to have a relationship out in the open, but what Sebastian and Ciel had was not what you would call a relationship. They had sex, but that was essentially all there was between them. Being fuck buddies with someone never used to bother the blae-haired male, back in his extremely promiscuous days; yet, he found himself wanting something more than that with his raven-haired counterpart, and had begun trying to form a friendship with him shortly after their sexual escapade.

So that's what he did, though they didn't abstain from having sex. Whenever they had time of from work, Ciel would invite Sebastian to hang out with him, whether that be at a bar or at his apartment. If it was a bar, he would drink the elder man under the table and stay out all night. They would end up crashing in his car, because for some reasona drunken Sebastian made it quite difficult for the sober Ciel to drive. He would mess with him, like poking his side or straight up being obnoxious, play with all the buttons and knobs, and when he failed to get a reaction from the hotheaded youth, he became devious. Nimble fingers would undo the younger's pants swiftly, and before Ciel knew it, he would be struggling to focus on not driving his car into a tree or swerving dangerously on the road while Sebastian gave him amazing head. Having had enough of those close calls, Ciel refused to drive home when Sebastian was intoxicated, nor would he let his drunken counterpart drive. Though the older would beg to be driven home or to drive, the stubborn youth wouldn't budge. Still, he would succumb to those large, hot hands and have sex in the backseat, before falling asleep in the car outside of the bar.

Their night's in were different in that they would abstain from drinking, merely loungin around Ciel's apartment, watching movies, goofing around, and having random conversations. While many of those nights would end in sex, sometimes they would fall asleep on the couch while talking. It was worrisome how much Ciel had begun to look forward to and enjoy those rare days.

Tonight they had decided to enjoy some time off from barhopping, wanting instead to leisurely watch half-heartedly a marathon of Black Butler. Currently, the fourth episode was playing, and Ciel let out a groan; the dreaded corset scene was close to flashing on the screen. The dainty male was splayed out on his couch, head resting against one of the arms whilst one leg tangled over the back of it, and the other perched in the older man's lap. Sebastian slouched in his seat, a long arm hanging over the side as his other hand was placed upon the slender ankle that rest in his lap. His thumb was lightly brushing along the bone that jutted out there, causing the younger male to shift restlessly.

Quite suddenly a close up of Ciel's blushing face dominated the screen after a commercial break. He was a panting, sweating, moaning mess, causing the sanguine-eyed male to chuckle huskily.

"The show hardly does the sweet sounds you make justice," he purred, his fingers trailing slowly up the slim leg. Ciel gave a strangled sound akin to a tortured moan.

"How embarrassing," he whined, whacking the back of Sebastian's head with his unnoccupied leg. "You're a pervert."

A smirk curled Sebastian's lips, his hand sliding back down and taking a tight hold on the small ankle. "Is that what you think of me, my kitten?" His voice was foax-innocent, causing Ciel to snap his head up and eye him warily.

He had opened his mouth to retort, but before any words could come out, a gggle bubbled up between his lips, turning into full blown laughter as Sebastian mercilessly tickled the foot he held captive. "S-stop! B-b-bastard," Ciel stuttered out between breathy giggles, his free foot coming forth and kicking his attacker in the side.

In one swift movement, Sebastian switched his position, straddling Ciel's hips and efficiently trapping the shorter legs beneath his own. He allowed the blue-eyed youth a moment to catch his breath while trailing his fingers up his side, before continuing his tickle attack. This drew a yelping giggle from Ciel, and he bucked his hips, slapping at the older's chest and squirming about in an attempt to escape.

"Your efforts are futile!" Sebastian declared, the onslaught of tickling not ceasing.

"P-please..." Ciel whimpered, tears of mirth now leaking down his cheeks as he struggled to breathe and speak through his laughter. "I... I take it b-back!" He half-shouted, half-laughed.

Sebastian cocked his head to the side, his fingers pausing for a moment. "Oh? And what is it that you take back?"

Ciel gasped for breathe, whispering between pants. "I take... it back... You're not a pervert."

The elder flashed a victorious grin, bowing his head slightly. "I accept your surrender, kitten."

Tears were still making their way along the flushed cheeks of the daintier male, and without thinking, Sebastian reached out and wiped away the trails with his thumbs. Ciel's breathing had calmed down, but with the gentle gesture his breath hitched in his throat. They both sat their awkwardly for a moment, Sebastian feeling confused at his need to remove the tears, and the discomfort he felt at seeing them stain his counterpart's face. Ciel felt his heart soaring at the way he had been touched so gently, so featherlight, and then it plummeted, leaving him feeling numb and confused as to why he had felt that way in the first place. Sebastian was the first to break the silence.

"So..." he started, unsure of what to say, before a memory piqued his interest. "I recall at your audition you calling your parents and telling them to fuck off. Why?"

Ciel hesistated, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, feeling a strange urge to confess his past, yet at the same time wanting to keep it to himself. "Well... My parents aren't what you'd call loving or doting. In fact, I can't recall ever having been praised, let alone hugged. I grew up in a cold household, where image and upholding the family name is everything. My choice of career was... unsuitable in their eyes. In fact, they wanted me to become a doctor." The thought of that still made him want to laugh, but he suppressed it. "Anyway, they gave me the ultimatum of finding any acting job or going to a college; if I couldn't score a role, and refused to go to college, they would have cut off my trust fund and disowned me. That was the first time I had ever stood up to them..." here, he trailed off awkwardly, his hands fidgeting with the collar of his shirt.

Sebastian shifted his weight, subconsciously making sure that he wasn't crushing the dainty male underneath him, before nodding his head slowly. "Can't say I understand what that's like, or what having parents is like. I was an orphan, and spent most of my childhood in an orphanage, but I left when I was in my teens. I kind of stumbled onto acting, it wasn't like I aspired to do it. I just wanted to escape from reality, and, well, pretending to be someone else seemed like the best way to go."

"Er, if you don't mind my asking, what kind of orphanage did you grow up in?" A burning curiosity was hidden in his voice.

Chuckling, Sebastian offered a half-smirk and cocked a brow. "It was run by vicious nuns."

Ciel wrinkled his nose, nodding his understanding. "My parents were Catholic, and I've met my fair share of nuns. My aunt was one, in fact. They are particularly horrid, if I do say so."

"It's probably because they need a good dicking," Sebastian dead-panned, which made Ciel giggle in surprise and delight.

"I'm quite sure you're right about that."

"Not the face!" the sudden shout of Grell came from the television, causing both male's to almost jump out of their skin.

Shuddering, Ciel reached for the remote and quickly changed the channel. "His voice never ceases to grate on my nerves," he muttered.

Sebastian removed himself from Ciel's lap and once again taking his seat at the other end of the couch. Finally free, the youth hopped up and stretched, arching his back until it popped, a moan of relief passing his lips. "I'm going to piss and then getting a drink. Did you want something?"

"I'm fine, kitten," the taller male said, waving Ciel off. Once he had disappeared down the hall, Sebastian stretched out on the couch, pillowing his head with his arm and staring blankly at the tv screen.

Though he wouldn't admit it, he was impatiently waiting for Ciel to return. He wanted the comforting weight and warmth of the blae-haired male lying on top of him and in his arms. The anticipation of it, the wanting it, was confusing Sebastian. He had never felt something like this before, and he couldn't think of a logical way to rationalize it. _What in the hell is wrong with me?_ he found himself thinking. Soon enough, Ciel returned with a glass of water, thankfully cutting off the self-berating thoughts.

Without any thought to it, or asking for permission, Ciel set the glass down upon the coffee table and situated himself upon Sebastian. His head rested easily in the crook of the older males neck, and it felt like their bodies fit together, like puzzle pieces. That thought was a bit unnerving, so instead he focused on the sensation of Sebastian's arms wrapping around him. He could tell that tonight was going to be one of the nights that they didn't have sex, and he was relishing in the realisation of that. A large hand began to run through the silky blae locks absentmindedly, and it drew a purr from the youth that started in his chest.

An actual smile lit up the sanguine-eyed male's face, and for once he completely relaxed. His mind quieted, and all his confusion left him. There were times when all Sebastian needed was this comfort that he got from Ciel, something that was not derived from sex, but coming from just being in each other's presence and embracing. It may confuse him, and he may not understand what he was feeling or why, but during these times, he didn't have to think. He could just _feel._ Sebastian could feel the warmth that Ciel radiated, feel those kitten-soft locks beneath his fingers, the way his breathe lightly danced over his collarbone, becoming fainter the closer he was to sleep. He could feel the soft thumping of their hearts, almost in sync with one another. It was all those little things that numbed his mind and lulled him to sleep. It was something he wanted nothing more than to hold onto, a little flame to light up the darkness within him.

But for the life of him, Sebastian couldn't understand _why_ Ciel made him feel, when all he had known before he had met the dainty little spitfire, was the numbness inside...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: So what are you thinking of this chapter, my little kittens? Are you enjoying their confused feels? DO YOU LOVE THE LITTLE HINT ABOUT SEBASTIAN'S PAST? Leave me some comments and let me know your feelings~ We'll get into his past more in a later chapter, but for now I leave you with a hint for the next chapter: Carnival~!
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy


	11. Act XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This was perhaps my favorite chapter to write. It certainly is the longest, and holy tits it took all day to write. I do have to take breaks every now and then because I don't want to end up losing my creative edge and ending up with shit for a chapter; my brain needs small periods of doing not shit to stay sharp. ANYWAY, this chapter is basically like a turning point for Sebastian and Ciel's relationship, but that's all I will say on that matter. I'm sorry if this chapter is too long, I thought about breaking it up into two chapters, but then I realised that it flows much better as one chapter, and also I am a lazy bitch. This is mostly about Ciel and Sebastian, but fear not, little doves, Claude and Alois also make a (small) appearance~! Enough talking! Enjoy c:

**Warnings:** Vulgar language, very slight fluff, (detailed) smut, barest hint of angst.

* * *

**Act XI**

The night was quiet, save for the rustling of leaves in a light breeze and bubbles of conversation that drifted over the open space. Trees were sparce, clustered together in small groups, surrounding a collection of ruins. At the center of the ruins upon a dais was a stone bench, cracks dancing in its surface like veins, ivy curling possessively around it. The moon was full and huge in the sky, and it lit up the ruins and the surrounding wood perfectly, giving it an eerie yet beautiful feel. Ciel sat in a folding chair, blanket draped over his shoulders and pulled tight around him as he sipped at a cup of hot chocolate. Though it was only September, the nights had grown colder, and the costumes, while dashing, were shit when it came to braving the weather. _I'd probably be better off naked,_ he thought bitterly, burrowing deeper into the blanket as he glared at a few blades of grass, which glistened with dew.

The Director was gathering the camera and sound crews, giving direction and discussing the perfect angles, or what have you. There weren't many people here for the filming of the last scene, just the ones that were necessary. Leffew was barking orders at the two girls who did makeup, and they scurried over to Ciel, faces tight with anxiety.

"Where the fuck is Sebastian?" Leffew demanded from a stuttering cameraman.

As if he had materialised from the shadows, Sebastian appeared at Ciel's side, sitting down in his own chair. "I'm here, Amelia. There's no need to bite their heads off on my account." He waved a gloved hand at her, as if brushing off her aggressiveness.

"Will you _please_ stay put, Sebastian? That's the fifth fucking time you've wandered off. We're here to film a scene, don't you recall?" Leffew hissed at him vehemently before turning on her heel and heading off to terrorize someone else.

"Someone has her panties in a bunch," Ciel muttered under his breath, leaning back as the makeup artists started applying cosmetics to his face.

"Leffew always gets like this when a very crucial scene needs to be filmed in a small time frame. Don't let her bother you," one of the nameless females that had started doing Sebastian's makeup said.

After that, the four of them fell silent, allowing the makeup artists to do their jobs. Once they had finished they traipsed off to save another person from Leffew's wrath. A comfortable silence fell over the two males, the youth sipping at his lukewarm hot chocolate.

A few seconds passed before Sebastian's face broke out in a condescending smirk. "Are you really that cold? You're shivering."

"Shut up. Not all of us are lumbering giant space heaters." Ciel's lips formed a pout. He set the cup down, no longer interested in the cooling thick liquid.

A tiny squeak left him as his taller counterpart reached over and plucked him from the folding chair, placing him instead in his lap. "If I am a space heater, as you say, then allow me to warm you," Sebastian's murmured against the shell of the youth's ear, his velvet voice wrapping around him in delicious shivers.

"Bastard," he mumbled, no real heat in the word as his cheeks flamed. He pulled the blanket tighter and leaned into the sanguine-eyed male, taking slow, deep breaths to draw in his intoxicating scent.

"Okay!" The Director's sudden shout made them both jump, either out of shock or guilt, it couldn't be said. "Let's see if we can get the last scene filmed in one take, shall we? Places, everyone!" He said with a clap of his hands.

Ciel let out a groan as he slid out of Sebastian's lap and shed the blanket. He allowed the taller male to lift him up and place him on his right arm. The left one slithered out of sight, leaving his sleeve to dangle emptily at his side. He walked over to the starting point, between a thicket of trees, and awaited the Director's order.

"And... action!"

Ciel was perched on the crook of Sebastian's arm, his dainty hand placed gently upon the broad shoulder as Sebastian began walking through the trees. He gracefully strided towards an archway that led into the ruins, walking up the steps to the stone dias.

"Here, Young Master," he said, carefully placing the youth upon the aged bench.

"So this is where it ends?" Ciel asked, his tone soft with the inquiry.

"Yes," the butler stated simply.

The young Earl turned his head, his uncovered eye spotting a raven. "That bird is eyeing me," he announced.

Again, Sebastian merely said, "yes."

Turning back around, Ciel breathed his next words as easily as if he were commenting on the weather. "After you've taken my soul, give it what's left." He let his gaze fall upon the ivy-laden dais.

"You're as kind as ever, Young Master," Sebastian said, but for once he did not sound patronizing.

After a pause, Ciel raised his hand to touch the silk fabric of the eyepatch. "Will it hurt?" He asked, no hesitance in his voice.

"It will, a bit," Sebastian said, his brows turning up in a sympathetic expression as a small smile graced his lips. "I will make it as gentle as I can, though."

"No," the youth said forcefully, tilting his head up so he could meet the eyes of his butler. "Go ahead and be brutal. Etch the pain deep into my soul as proof that I lived."

Sebastian looked slightly taken aback with surprise for a few moments, before a subdued smile replaced it. He sank down on one knee, bowing his head and placing his right hand over his heart. "Yes, my Lord."

Ciel's gaze once again fell, as if he were feeling so very tired. He leaned back against the bench, watching and waiting as Sebastian pulled his glove off of his remaining hand with his teeth. As it dropped to the ground, he closed the distance between them. Bending at the waist, the butler reached his hand out, fingers lightly caressing the porcelain skin of his master's cheek.

Ciel could feel his heart racing in his chest, but kept his outward expression the same. He didn't want to ruin this take and have to start all over again. As the fingertips danced over his lips, Sebastian's thumb grazed his jawline and tilted his head to the side. His digits slipped beneath the eyepatch and Ciel closed his eyes as it was pulled away. Long fingers gently stroked through the kitten-soft blae locks, the knot loosening and coming undone. The silken piece of fabric fell uselessly next to their feet.

As Sebastian began to lean forward, lips curled in the barest hints of a smirk and parted slightly, Ciel closed his eyes. He could feel the closeness of the taller male; his lips were centimeters away drom his own. Each soft exhale of breath fanned over his cheeks, making his skin tingle. It took all of his willpower to keep his own breath from hitching in his throat, to steady his trembling lips. He wanted so badly to lean forward and close the distance. The chemistry between the two and the sexual tension was so thick and heavy, it was surprising that no one but themselves seemed to notice.

"Now then, Young Master," Sebastian breathed out. He barely suppressed the lust in his voice, and he found it very hard to keep himself those few centimeters away for the last few moments of the scene.

"Cut!" The Director yelled merrily. "That was perfect! Amazing job, both of you!"

Sebastian straightened up and took a step back, as Ciel opened his eyes and turned his gaze over to the elder. He had efficiently cut through the heavy atmosphere with his boisterous voice.

"You have tomorrow off; thank you for all your hard work." This came from Leffew, who was dabbing at tears of relief. All her stress had fled her at the conclusion of the perfect last scene.

Cheering broke out amongst the crew, and Ciel let a smile grace his lips. Sebastian reached out a hand to help him stand. Together they walked towards a sleek black Mercedes, which was the older male's car.

"So," Sebastian said amiably.

"So?" Ciel repeated, the question raising his voice an octave.

"Well, since we have tomorrow off, I was wondering..." the sanguine-eyed male hesitated, as if looking for the right words. "There's a carnival that's opening tomorrow, and..."

Ciel smirked, tilting his head back to look at the slightly frazzled expression on his counterpart's face. "Would you like to go to the carnival?"

Sebastian blinked, and then a chuckle rose up from deep in his chest. "Naturally."

* * *

Rays of sunlight filtered between the blinds of the living room window, falling across Ciel's closed eyelids. A small whine left his lips and he shifted his weight, turning his face away from the offending light. The reverberating of a chuckle in the chest beneath his ear roused him even more, drawing a sigh from him as he abandoned any thoughts of more sleep. Long fingers lightly trailed down his spine as he opened his eyes. Sebastian's other hand cupped his slim hip, squeezing lightly.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," he purred, his tone mocking.

"Ugh, fuck you," Ciel moaned, bringing his hand up and covering Sebastian's mouth. A warm tongue darted out and licked the palm of his hand. He yanked it away with a cry. "You're disgusting!" He sat up, straddling the older male's waist as he wiped the saliva off on his favorite pajama pants.

Sebastian chuckled and raised a brow, stretching his arms out behind his head. "Now, you don't mean that."

"I do. I hope your fucking tongue falls out. I can't believe you licked me, ugh," Ciel grumbled, his voice tapering off into incoherent complaints.

This brought more laughter from the giant beneath him, who shook his head in disbelief. "You really aren't a morning person, are you?"

"Nope," Ciel dead-panned before sluggishly sliding out of Sebastian's lap. "Coffee," he breathed, padding into his kitchen and looking groggily around.

Tiny fingers wrapped around the handle of the coffeepot, and he turned on the sink faucet, filling it completely. He slid a stepping stool noisily across the floor before climbing atop it and opening the coffee machine, where he poured the contents of the pot. Ciel spooned out the ground coffee into the filter; once it was filled to his tastes, he closed the lid, replaced the pot, and turned the machine on. Soon the apartment was filled with the scent of fresh coffee, and his mouth practically watered with impatience. The aroma was enough to perk him up slightly, and he dragged the stool over to the cabinet where he kept the mugs. His eyes scanned the contents, searching for his favorite cat mug, and when he found it, a scowl curled his lips. His fingers barely grazed the top shelf, and a frustrated whine pierced the air.

"God damnit, Sebastian!" He growled angrily. "You're a fucking twat!"

Sebastian tried to stifle his laughter as he rose from the couch and followed the enraged snarling into the kitchen. He leaned against the wall, watching in amusement as Ciel struggled to reach his favored mug; his body was trembling from the exertion, and he stood on tip toe. Still, his fingers barely grazed the mugs face, and another pissed off snarl ripped from his throat.

"What seems to be the problem?" Sebastian asked nonchalantly, fighting the smirk that wanted to spread on his face. His lips twitched now and then, but he managed to keep a questioning expression on his face.

"You know damn well- this is my favorite fucking coffee mug, you dick! I know you put it here because _we both know that I'm too fucking short to reach this shelf!_ " His voice grew in octaves as his rage began to boil over. "Why the fuck else would I leave the top shelves completely bare, you fucking asshat!?"

Sebastian could no longer keep his laughter at bay, and he bent forward with the force of his mirth. His sanguine eyes teared up as he sniggered, arm curling around his torso as if trying to hold himself together.

"Stop fucking laughing, dick! You wanted to see me struggle, well, you've seen it!"

After his laughter calmed down, he strode forward, his chest brushing against Ciel's back, causing him to tense up. He reached one arm up and plucked the mug from it's perch, the other snaking around the slim waist and lifting him from the stool.

The youth hissed like a cat and struggled in the iron-like grip, sputtering indignantly. "You unbelievable bastard. I fucking hate you, you giant fucking beast of a man." He continued to protest and curse as Sebastian set the mug on the counter, freeing up his other hand. His long fingers tangled in the kitten soft locks, tugging gently his shorter counterpart's head back. He immediately silenced the youth by bringing his lips down on the parted pink petals. The ensuing kiss was full of fire and passion, and when they broke apart, Ciel was left gasping with flushed cheeks and glazed over eyes.

"So feisty," Sebastian murmured, pleased with himself for placating the little spitfire. Gently releasing his hold on the younger male's hair, he set him down on his dainty feet and opened the fridge, leaning forward to find the heavy whipping cream. "You have such peculiar tastes," he stated, pouring a generous amount of the cream into the waiting mug.

"Don't think I will forgive you so easily by making my coffee," Ciel muttered, his voice lacking heat. "If you make it wrong, I'll have your head."

Chuckling, Sebastian spooned in 3 healthy helpings of sugar before filling the rest of the mug with coffee. After stirring it exactly twelve times, he handed the steaming beverage to Ciel. "If you think that by now I don't know how you take your coffee, you must have very little faith in me."

The blae-haired male mumbled expletives under his breath before taking a sip of the liquid. A contented sigh left his parted lips, and he closed his eyes as he relished in its flavor. Sebastian took out a mug for himself and poured himself a cup of coffee.

Ciel eyes him and the mug in distaste, his nose wrinkling up. "I've no idea how you can stomach drinking it black."

"This is how a man takes his coffee," was the reply he received, but before he could retort, Sebastian whacked him on the ass. "It's already almost noon, kitten. Go get ready for the carnival."

Eyes lighting up in excitement, Ciel practically skipped to his bedroom, taking his creamy coffee with him and leaving a chuckling Sebastian in his wake.

"It's going to be a long day," the sanguine eyed male hummed to himself before making his way to the bathroom.

* * *

Ciel was practically bouncing in the passenger seat of the Mercedes. The closer they got to the carnival, the more excited he became. It was endearing to watch the youth stare out the window with wide-eyed wonder; he truly was a child at heart. Sebastian easily pulled his car into a parking spot, turning it off and climbing out in one swift movement. Ciel struggled with his seatbelt in his hurry to get out of the car as soon as possible. Sebastian chuckled as he opened the passenger door, reaching in and unbuckling it for him. It was a testament to his elation at going to the carnival when he didn't bite his taller counterpart's head off for helping him or hissing that he could do it himself and wasn't helpless.

Once he had untangled himself from the seatbelt, Ciel bounded out of the car and began tugging not very gently on Sebastian's arm.

"Patience, kitten," Sebastian purred, shutting the door and locking his car.

He allowed the shorter male to practically drag him up to the ticket counter, where he purchased armbands that allowed them to go on every ride. Ciel hopped from foot to foot as he impatiently waited for the lady behind the counter to secure his armband. Sebastian could see how frustrated she was becoming with Ciel, and he offered her an apologetic smile as he took it upon himself to fasten the bracelet on his counterpart's wrist. As soon as they were given the go-ahead, Ciel was back to tugging on Sebastian, pulling him this way and that as he gawked at all of the games and rides. A bitter rabbit caught his eye and he paused at a Dart Toss booth. He stared at it, head tilted to the side, not really surprised that Black Butler was so popular that a carnival would have merchandise. Ciel had wanted the bitter rabbit like no other, but the Director had told him that it was only a prop, and that he couldn't have it.

The youth worried his bottom lip between his teeth, longing in his royal blue eyes. Sebastian stepped toward the Carnie, clearing his throat. "Excuse me, how do I win that one?" He inquired, pointing at the rabbit. The look of pure want on Ciel's face had urged him forward and made him ask before he could think about it. He momentarily pondered where the strange need to give Ciel everything he desired had come from, but he pushed it away as the Carnie answered his question.

"Ye hafta pop 10 in a row to get that'n," he slurred in a bored tone.

"All right, then," Sebastian said, placing several billets on the counter.

The Carnie gave him a handful of darts, sneer on his face. "G'd luck to ye."

Ciel's attention was finally drawn away from the bitter rabbit when the disgusting ooze of the Carnie's voice washed over him. Shock coursed through him as he watched Sebastian aim dart after dart and successfully pop each balloon.

"What are you..?" his voice trailed off as his taller counterpart gave him a cheeky grin, before focusing back on the task at hand. When the tenth balloon popped, the Carnie scowled, removing the bitter rabbit from it's perch and shoving it into Sebastian's arms.

"Ther's yer prize," he grumbled, turning his gaze away from the tall male while he collected the billets.

Sebastian promptly turned without so much as a thank you, a smile lighting up his face. He gently placed the bitter rabbit in Ciel's arms, who gaped at him like a deer in the headlights.

"You wanted this, right?" Sebastian prompted, and all the youth could do was nod. A bubble of happiness rose in him, and he tried to keep it off his face, but the way his eyes lit up told his counterpart all he needed to know.

Ciel turned on his heel and began walking with a purpose to nowhere in particular. "Let's go on some rides," he called back, a flush coloring his cheeks when he felt Sebastian's arm drape around his waist.

* * *

Alois and Claude had spent the entire morning leisurely lounging in the latter's bed, enjoying each other's company as they cuddled close together. The atmosphere was completely peaceful, but there was only so much time one could spend in bed without becoming restless. The blond sat up and stretched, a sigh on his lips.

"Let's go out today, Claude," he said, shifting his body until he was sitting on his knees and facing the plum-haired male.

A slight smile curled his lips as he regarded the manic blond with calculating golden eyes. "What did you have in mind, little dove?"

Alois' face lit up in happiness, a grin splitting his lips. "Well, there's a carnival going on, but before that I thought we could go to lunch, take a walk through a park, or something." His cheeks flushed lightly and he looked down at his hands. His fingers occupied themselves with picking at the comforter.

Claude hummed approvingly, climbed out of bed and headed for his closet. "That sounds lovely." His bipolar counterpart bounded out of the bed and latched onto his back with a squeal. The taller male felt featherlight kisses trailing along his shoulder, and he chuckled, fingers stroking lightly the arms that were wrapped around his waist. "Will you allow me to get dressed so that we can go?" He asked, affection evident in the warm tone.

The blond giggled and released the hold he had on his boyfriend before flitting off to get dressed himself. Once both were fully clothed, they headed out on what was sure to be a fun date.

* * *

The day was coming to an end; the sun had begun to set and the carnival was getting ready to close. Ciel had dragged Sebastian onto more rides than he could count, and they had both indulged in elephant ears and various other unhealthy treats. The blae-haired male was positively stuffed, ready to split at the seams, but he wasn't yet ready to retire for the day.

"Attention fair-goers, in 5 minutes the fireworks show is going to be starting. After it has finished, the carnival will close for the day." A voice crackled to life over loud-speakers that were placed throughout the fair.

Sebastian took Ciel's hand and began leading him through the slowly dispersing crowd. "Hey, Sebastian," he yelped, tightening his hold on the bitter rabbit. "Where are we going?"

The only answer he was given was the taller male flashing him a smirk over his shoulder. His question was soon answered when they halted in front of the ferris wheel. They stood at the end of a small line, and were soon let into one of the compartments. Sebastian sat across the way from Ciel, and after a few moments of waiting, the ride began to slowly ascend upwards. Once they were at the top, the ride stopped with a lurch, and a loud _bang_ followed by a bursting of colorful light signified the start of the fireworks.

Ciel started for a second, but soon the fireworks had his full attention. He _ooh'_ ed and _ahh_ 'ed in delight with each colorful burst. They couldn't hold his attention for too long though, as the sexual tension began to fill the compartment. It was thick and heavy in the small space, and he found his blue eyes were drawn to the sanguine eyes of his counterpart almost against his will. His breathing became shallow as his eyes lidded, and he worried his bottom lip between his teeth viciously. Sebastian ran his tongue over his lips, practically tasting the electric atmosphere. His skin itched with desire for the younger male, but he stayed in his seat, fingers digging into the cold metal as though to steel his resolve.

Time seemed to stop for a moment, and then Ciel made his decision. He carefully stood, closing the small distance between them and straddling the older male's lap. Sebastian drew in a sharp hiss of a breath, his hands coming up and gripping tightly onto the slim hips. His fingers kneaded the tender flesh, and Ciel had to swallow a keening sound that threatened to rise in his throat. Instead, he pressed his lips roughly against Sebastian's, purring as the other parted his lips invitingly. His tongue trailed along, exploring the moist cavern presented to him. A guttural moan settled deep in his chest as he pressed as close as humanly possible to the object of his desire. Teeth gnashed together in a primal kiss, heat pooling in the pits of stomachs as lust grew to feverish proportions.

Sebastian's hands slid from hips to rump, each massaging the soft mounds they found. Ciel's back arched sharply as he broke the kiss, gasping harshly and digging his nails into the broad shoulders of the elder. One hand released an ass cheek and worked it's way into the tight shorts that encased the youth's ass. A probing finger brushed against the sensitive ring of flesh, causing Ciel to jerk sharply, his fingers squeezing and releasing Sebastian's shoulders in a kneading motion. With a sudden thrust, the finger sheathed itself in the tight and inviting hole, a strangled sound catching in the blae-haired male's throat.

Ciel brushed his lips against the shell of Sebastian's ears, panting gently. "P-please," he whined pitifully, bucking his hips slightly. "Fuck-" his next words were cut off as the ride lurched to life. He hissed in disappointment as the wriggling digit slid out of his entrance, the hand leaving the back of his shorts.

With a sigh, the youth returned to his seat, crossing his arms over his chest with a pout. Sebastian shifted in his seat, discomfort radiating from the throbbing need between his legs.

"Soon," was his murmured promise as their compartment made it back to the ground and the Carnie opened the door to let them out.

Ciel's erection was straining against his pants, and he wasted no time in snagging his bitter rabbit and clutching onto Sebastian's hand. The elder took the lead and swiftly forged a path through the crowd, locating the exit of the carnival and rushing to his car. They both climbed in and fastened their seatbelts before Sebastian peeled out of the parking lot, tires screeching. Ciel would have sworn that his counterpart had broken speeding laws, but he couldn't find it in himself to care at the moment.

As soon as the apartment door was unlocked, they were glued together, bumping into walls and knocking over shelves. Ciel attacked Sebastian's lips as the latter yanked off their clothes without any preamble. His fingers dug into the skin of the youth's hips as he stumbled backwards towards the bedroom, pulling him along. Ciel roughly shoved Sebastian into the dresser, trailing kisses down his neck to his chest. It was all lips and teeth, sharp nips and sucking, leaving vicious love bites behind. The older male flipped them around, pushing Ciel into the wardrobe. Handles dug into his back, a dull pain radiating up his spine, but he didn't care. He gasped shallowly as Sebastian dropped to his knees and took his weeping erection into his mouth in one swift movement. A strangled cry ripped out from the blae-haired male, his fingers tugging harshly on the raven locks of his counterpart.

Sebastian swirled his tongue aroung the head of the dick, catching and savoring every drop of precum. He bobbed his head up and down the length, sucking hard and drawing a guttural whine from the dainty male. His hands held tight onto the slender hips, stopping them from bucking into his mouth.

"Enough," Ciel cried, half a hiss and moan.

The raven-haired male released the cock with a sloppy pop, rising up from the floor. In one fluid movement, he launched Ciel onto the bed, climbing on top of his sprawled out form. The youth hooked his legs around Sebastian's waist, tugging him impatiently closer. His fingers found purchase in the older male's shoulders, nails digging sharply and piercing flesh. The head of Sebastian's dick was lined up with his twitching and needy hole, but the elder paused, his eyes dancing deviously.

"Beg for it," he purred tauntingly.

"Fuck you," Ciel spat, rocking his hips up into the throbbing erection, making his counterpart shiver from the delicious friction.

"As you please," Sebastian growled, fully sheathing himself in the tight hole. The tip of his dick brushed against that sweet bundle of nerves, causing Ciel to mewl and arch his back sharply. The elder began to thrust mercilessly, drawing sweet moans from those soft petal pink lips.

Nails dragged down his broad back, tearing into skin and drawing blood; teeth bit into a plump lip, worrying it red in an attempt to muffle keening moans. With each thrust, the tip would hit the bundle of nerves dead on, and Ciel would toss his head back in unadulterated pleasure. His pupils dilated, getting pushed closer and closer to the edge. The tightening of his hungry hole around his dick let Sebastian know how close Ciel was. His mouth latched onto a pert nipple, nibbling and sucking, rolling it in between his teeth all without his thrusts faltering. Ciel's mouth fell open as a heavy moan ripped from his throat, and he rolled his hips up to meet Sebastian's, the combined stimulation pushing him over the edge into orgasm. His seed spurt out, coating both their chests. With a few more sharp thrusts, the older male came as well, his trembling body collapsing next to his shorter counterpart.

They rode out their orgasms in silence, bodies slick with sweat, electricity dancing over their skin every time they brushed against one another. Sebastian opened his eyes and watched the rise and falls of Ciel's chest even out, though it was hard to see in the dim room. Suddenly, the youth rolled over, arms seeking out Sebastian; they curled around his torso and pulled him closer, a contented purr leaving his lips.

He bit his bottom lip, confusion at the emotional turmoil squeezing his chest. Ciel hid his face in the crook of Sebastian's neck, closing his eyes tightly and trying to shut out the unknown, persistent feelings. He could feel the older male's arms tighten around him, embracing him, and for some reason it calmed the storm thrashing within him. It wasn't long until both of them began drifting to sleep. Ciel could feel his swirling emotions fighting with his exhaustion, and soon enough, his exhaustion won out, and he fell into a dreamless sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: Did you enjoy this long ass chapter? Aren't you happy I didn't split it into two, so that you could enjoy this delicious smut? I hope you loved this chapter, and that it wasn't boring enough to make you fall asleep. There was a little bit of fluffy fluff, but not too much. Leave comments and let me know what you thought, what you enjoyed best~ Oh, and I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors on my part; I spent half the day writing this and didn't feel like rereading it.
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy


	12. Act XII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh, my sweet kittens and little doves, I've left you hanging for much too long, and I apologize profusely. I currently have no internet in my home, and the only way I can update is by lugging my laptop all the way to the library and using their wifi for all my internet needs. I hope that at the time I am posting this chapter, there will be several other chapters going up along with it. I think I've revised this one at least 3 times, and I am finally happy with it. I know it's terribly evil of me to leave you so long and then bombard you with feels, but, I never said I was a nice author. Even if it is full of angst, I do so hope you enjoy this chapter~
> 
> Warnings: A lot of angst, vulgar language, some violence, slight gore, light alcoholic consumption. Trigger Warning: PTSD.

**Act XII**

The sun was barely coming up over the horizon when Ciel was slipping from between Sebastian's arms and out of his bed. He tiptoed from his room and headed into the bathroom, where he took a quick, scalding shower. Drying off as fast as he could, he quietly searched through his dresser drawers and closest, selecting a random, yet well put together outfit. A groan leaving Sebastian's lips as he rolled over in bed made Ciel freeze, his eyes darting to the still-sleeping figure. Holding his breath, he waited a few moments to make sure that his tall counterpart hadn't woken before relaxing with a barely audible sigh. He dressed himself as quickly and silently as possible before darting out of his bedroom. At the door, he paused giving a long look at the sleeping form of Sebastian. Longing and the urge to flee warred in his chest, tearing him apart from the inside and leaving him confused. Before he could give himself the chance to wake Sebastian or crawl back into the bed with him, he tore his eyes away and headed into the kitchen. He prepared the coffee machine for the older male, and wrote a note on a sheet of paper.

Worrying his bottom lip between his teeth harshly, he laid the note in front of the coffee machine, turned away and headed back into the living room. After slipping on his shoes, he slid his peacoat on, not bothering to button it, and pocketed his keys and cigarettes. At some point in their... whatever you called what they had, Ciel had given Sebastian the spare key to his apartment. It struck him as a little funny that he had never been to his taller counterparts place, a thought that constantly nagged at him in the back of his mind. It hardly seemed fair that Sebastian practically lived at Ciel's place, but the blae-haired male had no clue where the other's home was. Or if he even had one.

Pushing all his worries, circling thoughts, and painfully strange emotions forcefully out of his mind, he traipsed to his car, and drove away with barely a glance back. He left the sanguine-eyed male peacefully asleep, unknowing that he had even been left alone.

It was the smell of coffee and the lack of warmth beside him that eventually woke Sebastian. Groggily, he groped around him, hoping for his fingers to graze against Ciel. When he came up empty-handed, he cracked open his eyes and stared at the spot where Ciel should be. After a few moments, his brain came to life a little more, and he figured that his dainty counterpart was either in the shower or having coffee. Since he had to piss anyway, he headed to the bathroom, which was conspicuously lacking in running water or any signs of life. With a frown marring his lips, he quickly did his business, washed his hands, and headed past the living room and into the kitchen. The aroma of coffee invaded his nostrils and roused him even more, making it painfully obvious that Ciel wasn't here. To solidify that deduction, Sebastian barged out the front door and leaned over the rail. His eyes scanned the parking lot, finding that Ciel's car was no longer parked next to his.

"Well, that's odd," he muttered to himself before trudging back inside and to the kitchen.

As he went to grab a coffee mug, a slip of paper in front of the coffee machine caught his eye. Picking it up, he read it several times over to get it to register in his brain. _Sebastian, I'm heading out before you. I woke at the ass crack of dawn, and you were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to wake you. I have errands to run after work, anyway, so I took my own car. We probably won't be able to hang out later today, as I don't know when my errands will be finished. See you at work. Ciel._ Though this was a queer thing for Ciel to do, Sebastian thought nothing of it. At first. He simply shrugged and threw the scrap away, pouring himself a cup of coffee. Heading back into the bedroom, he opened the top drawer of the dresser and pushed things around. Because he spent most of his time here with Ciel, he had begun keeping a stash of clothing, since there was no way his tinier counterparts garments would fit his tall form. He had his own toothbrush in the bathroom, as well. Hell, he was even drinking coffee out of his favorite mug. It was like he lived here, which elated him at the same time it made his chest tighten with anxiety.

Sebastian took his time getting dressed and heading to work. He felt no need to rush, since he still had a little bit of time before he would be considered late. Once he arrived and walked into the building that housed the studio, he began looking around for Ciel. When he spotted him, their eyes met and held for a few moments, before Ciel tore his eyes away and walked swiftly over to Elizabeth.

Confusion rippled through Sebastian as he thought _well, that's queer._ Normally, Ciel avoided Elizabeth like she had the plague, unless they had to do a scene together. Even then, he tried to stand as far from her as allowed by the Director. When the royal blue-eyed male began chatting up the blond tart, even allowing her to damn near squeeze the life out of him, was when suspicion began coiling in Sebastian's stomach. The youth was certainly acting abnormally, and his older counterpart wanted to know why. He started heading over to the pair, hell bent on seeing if Ciel was sick, or if something was bothering him.

Ciel saw from his peripheral that Sebastian was quickly closing the space between them, panic washing over him.

"E-Elizabeth," he stuttered, taking her by the shoulders. "I feel terrible. I forgot that Sebastian wanted me to tell you that you looked positively gorgeous at the last party we attended. You should go thank him." He rushed to get the words out as fast as he could, wincing when the girl squealed in sheer delight. Tickled pink, she twirled away and bounded over to Sebastian, stopping him in his tracks. As she began gushing to him in her twittering voice, Ciel slipped away and engaged Soma in conversation. He positioned himself in a way that Sebastian would not be able to see him past the Indian male.

"I'm _so_ happy that you thought my outfit was adorable, Sebastian," Elizabeth chirped, hugging him in delight. "Though I wish you would tell me those things yourself. Perhaps you're the shy type? That strikes me as odd though, you hardly seem shy."

"Elizabeth," Sebastian almost groaned, trying to keep his tone patient. He tuned her out as his eyes frantically scanned the room for his counterpart, though he seemed to have disappeared in thin air.

"Lizzy," she scolded, before continuing to blather on like the airhead she was.

Just as Sebastian was opening his mouth to tell her off, the Director's voice boomed around the room, ceasing all conversation and gaining everyone's attention.

"I am happy to announce that filming of season one is finished. We were able to meet our deadline, even though we had such a large delay in production in our struggles to find the lead actor. To celebrate the wrapping up of our first project, we're all receiving a two week break." A few cheers and several groans rang out at that announcement.

"Only two weeks?" Someone whispered in disappointment.

"Come now, there's no need to complain. Director Warner has his reasons, which he will explain if you all will shut up and listen," Leffew called out, taking her place next to the Director and crossing her arms.

Chuckling and patting her shoulder, the Director continued speaking. "In 4 months, we managed to produce 24 episodes. 24 spectacular episodes in such a short period of time has worn you all thin. Think of this two week's break as a vacation, a time to recuperate and come back, raring to go. Our deadline for season two is this time next year, so we have more time to practice and produce something even better. Since we have longer, you all will get days off, instead of having to work hard every day." Murmurs of approval came over the cast members.

Rorke stepped forward, pushing up his glasses with a bored expression. "You're still expected to giving 110% of yourselves over to our next project. If you decide to slack off because we have longer, and our success rate falls, I will personally kick your ass. We have the chance to do a third season, but only if season two is well received. While we may not be working at neck breaking speeds, we still must push ourselves just as hard. The script for season three is already being put together, and if season two falls through, we will have wasted a tremendous amount of money, time, and effort, not only on that project, but also on the one to follow.

"Do not test me by thinking you can get away with slacking off, because I will destroy you. Do we all have an understanding?" Rorke finished, his cold eyes looking over each and every actor, making them shift uncomfortably.

Leffew's laughter broke the tension, drawing Rorke's eyes to her. "I'm certain that we will all work our hardest, and season two will be a success. If it isn't, I'll eat my hat," she deadpanned, gesturing at the feathered abomination that sat upon her head. Rorke quirked one brow, but stayed silent.

"All right, let's all pick up a script and do a run-through. After that we will all be free for two weeks," the Director said, clapping his hands to urge everyone into movement.

The cast began to swarm around the stack of scripts; Ciel easily slipped between them, grabbing three and calling Soma and Elizabeth to him. They headed toward the large table, and he sat between them, handing them each a script. Taking his own script, Sebastian sat directly across from Ciel. It dawned on him that his counterpart was most likely avoiding him, which frustrated him immensely. What had he done to cause this behavior? How could he fix it? The run-through went by in a blur, Sebastian running on auto-pilot as his thoughts consumed him.

When they were dismissed with a warning that the scripts needed to be memorised, Sebastian immediately stood, but Ciel was quicker. The dainty male was out of his chair and through the double doors faster than lightning. A jolt of vibration in the sanguine-eyed male's pocket announced a text messaged. He pulled it out and read the one-word text from Ciel: _errands._

"Bullshit," Sebastian muttered.

With how abrupt he had fled and sent a text with the underlying message of _don't bother me_ , there was no room for confusion or doubt: Ciel was definitely avoiding him. And Sebastian wasn't planning on letting it continue.

Ciel was avoiding Sebastian, it was true. He just couldn't escape the warring emotions that rose up inside him every time they were together. Especially after last night; it had seemed... _different_ , tinged with _something more_. Whatever that something was, Ciel was going to stay the hell away from it. It worried, scared, and elated him all at the same time. Thinking about being near Sebastian when he couldn't seem to stop getting sucked into his head and lost in trying to sort out his feelings filled him with dread. He would notice how withdrawed inside himself he was, he was certain of it. And he would ask questions that Ciel wouldn't, couldn't answer... because he had not yet figured it out for himself.

* * *

It had been six days since Sebastian had last seen Ciel, regardless of all the effort on his part. He had done everything he could think of, save for showing up unannounced at his door, from texting him from dawn til dusk to calling nonstop until his counterpart answered. His phone going off ceaselessly was beginning to drive him mad, and no excuse was good enough to stop the onslaught. He was running out of reasons as to why Sebastian couldn't come over; he had long used up needing to memorise his lines. He had already mastered them anyway, and he was getting tired of his counterpart calling so thay they could practice over the phone.

With a weary sigh, Ciel decided to surrender, texting Sebastian and saying that he could come over, but only if he picked up some liquor on the way. When he didn't receive a response, a wild hope that maybe the taller male had given up bloomed within him. All hope was shot down ten minutes later when three swift knocks sounded from his front door. Stifling a groan, he trudged over, unlocking it and allowing Sebastian entry.

"I'm happy to see that you have some time for me," the sanguine-eyed male said cheerily, with an underlying chill in his tone. "It seems unfair for you to be so busy during your break." His voice was thick with faux pity.

"Ah, yeah," Ciel mumbled, cheeks flushing slightly as he shut the door. "Sorry, I just had some important... stuff... to do." Obviously he hadn't fooled Sebastian for long, if he had at all.

Shooting a catlike smirk over his shoulder at his uncomfortably embarrassed counterpart, he quirked a brow as he said, "No matter. It seems that you've completed all of your... _stuff._ " This brought forth an incoherent agreement from Ciel.

Continuing on into the house, Sebastian went straight into the kitchen and began unloading the bag of liquor. Ciel followed, leaning against the counter and studying each item that the older male pulled out. _Tequila, tonic water, vodka, limes..._

"Wine coolers?" he spat out, appalled. "I was sure by now that you would know I can't get drunk, but if you're getting these weak things..."

Sebastian chuckled and wagged his finger at Ciel. "Those aren't for you, so don't touch them. Those are mine. I quite like the flavor of them, and I thought it would be a good idea for me to start out on something with a low alcohol content." The youth rolled his eyes, giving a small snigger. "Though, you're welcome to have one, if you'd like."

Ciel shrugged, putting most of the liquor in his fridge with the exception of two wine coolers. "I don't see why not, even if it does nothing for me."

They make their way back into the living room, the blae-haired male turning on the television in hopes that it will deter any conversation. He takes a large swig of his drink, trying to banish the awkwardness that seems to fill the air. He could tell that Sebastian knew he was avoiding him, and he was hoping with all his might that he wouldn't touch the subject. He wanted very much for the tall male to leave tonight, because being near him only succeeded in confusing Ciel. He hated the emotions that he felt, hated that he didn't know what they were or why he felt them. He only knew that it was Sebastian and Sebastian alone that made him feel these things he didn't want to feel.

Ciel wanted to be near Sebastian, touched by him, wanted by him; he craved his scent, the warmth of his body, and the caress of his hand. He wanted Sebastian to chase away all his pain and fear, banish his past, to hold him close as if he were something dear. He wanted his older counterpart to cherish him, protect him, and keep him near. It would be blissful to go to sleep every night in Sebastian's arms, and wake still being held tight. At the same time, he hated these needing, wanting feelings. He loathed how desperately he wanted Sebastian near him. It disgusted him to desire anything more than sex. The feelings of utter loathing he had had for the elder when they had first met were still there, just... softened with something else, something he couldn't for the life of him identify. Ciel wasn't even sure if he would ever know what this _thing_ was, growing inside of him each day, it was so strange and nothing like he had ever felt for another person. Alois' words of love entered his brain, and he felt ensared in panic. _Is this what love is? I don't want it. Fuck,_ he thought.

The only time Ciel had ever loved anyone, was when he had been a child. He had loved his parents, at first, but their cold way of treating him made hate bloom within him. It left an all-consuming hole in his chest, which he filled with sex and acting. When he was on stage, he wasn't himself; he could be anyone, with a different life, and that brought with it a numbing effect on the gaping hole. The memory of what love felt like was but a distant flame; barely glowing, undiscernable. Entirely poetic.

Ciel was distantly aware that Sebastian was talking at him, but he was much too interested in the irony his brain was supplying him with. He had never been the poetic sort, and any poem he had been required to write for classes had come out as a jumble of nonsensical words that didn't seem to fit. And yet, here was is brain, supplying him with utterly poetic phrases to describe his inability to feel love. Ciel almost snorted in derision, thinking, _where was this poetic side of me when I was in high school?_

Sebastian chugged his wine cooler, a dour frown curling the ends of his lips down. He had been trying to get Ciel's attention for ten minutes, with varying results of failure. At one point, the youth had looked positively amused, though Sebastian figured it was because of something he was thinking about, and not about his own futile attempts at engaging him. With a long-suffering sigh, Sebastian turned to face the dainty male, lips pressing into a thin line.

"Ciel," he said, impatience lacing his voice. He reached out a hand to touch the slender shoulder, and when his fingers grazed the soft flesh, Ciel jerked. He snapped his gaze to Sebastian, brows drawing together.

"Yes?" he murmured hoarsely, trying to gain control of his spinning thoughts.

"Oh, nothing really. I was quite enjoying talking at you without garnering a response. It was like trying to converse with a brick wall. Quite engaging, I must say." The sarcasm oozing from his lips was quite thick, and it caused that hated smirk to tug at the corners of his lips.

"Yes," Ciel murmured slowly, before blinking with a start. "Wait. What?" Well, at least he had the decency to sound slighlty offended.

Sebastian studied Ciel closely for a few moments, which made the other shift uncomfortably in his seat. Finally, he asked, "What's on your mind? It seems to be bothering you." His voice was softened with concern.

"Nothing," Ciel replied, a frown marring his face. Hoping to be able to escape a line of questioning or being probed for a better answer, he quickly stood, heading into the kitchen to crack into the harder alcohol.

Refusing to let it drop, Sebastian followed him into the kitchen and crossed his arms as he leaned against the counter. He watched as Ciel rummaged in the fridge, taking out the bottle of tequila. Though he took out a shot glass, he ended up forgoing it in the end, upending the bottle and taking a large swig. Licking his lips, he selected a knife and began cutting a lime, focusing hard on it, like it required every ounce of his attention to not accidentally chop a finger off.

After a couple minutes, Sebastian sighed and rubbed his temples, pushing off the counter to turn and face Ciel full on. "You've been avoiding me lately. Care to tell me why?"

This only made Ciel's expression grow even gloomier, yet still he pointedly ignored the question by throwing back some more tequila and sucking delicately on a lime. Just as he lifted the bottle to take another healthy swig, Sebastian snatched it away, dropping it carelessly into the sink where it shattered. Ciel snarled angrily at the tall male, turning to give him the full force of a glare.

"Why are you avoiding me," Sebastian said each word slowly, a little more heat coating his tone. He could feel anger simmering in his veins, trying to cook him from the inside and make him explode.

"Is it so wrong to not want you shoved up my ass 24/7? You don't own me, and believe it or not, I have shit to do in my life that is not and does not involve _you_. My life does _not_ revolve around you," Ciel hissed, his voice pitched low, fingers curling like claws.

Sebastian took a step closer, his lips curling down slightly the only outward sign that he was getting pissed. "While that may be true, it's a terrible fucking excuse. You are avoiding me, Ciel, and I deserve to know why." He somehow still managed to keep the fiery emotion in check.

With Sebastian so close, staring into his eyes unflinchingly, Ciel could see the boiling rage hidden just beneath the surface. For some reason, it made the cracks in the dam barely keeping his turmoiling emotions bearable break. Suddenly he was feeling everything 100 times worse; they warred with each other, trying to come out on top. The stress of not being able to handle the strong waves of feelings was too much. Tears pooling in large royal blue eyes easily overflowed as Ciel sucked in a whimpering breath, his bottom lip trembling. Though he tried his best to control himself, the tears kept coming, small droplets sticking to his lashes like dew as rivers of them traced their way down pale cheeks. A sob caught in his throat, and he swallowed it, forcing it back down. There was no way in _hell_ was he going to allow himself to break down completely.

It was easy to see how forcefully the shock hit Sebastian in the way that he leaned back, eyes widening and eyebrows raising. Ciel quickly turns his face away, once again willing the tears to dry up.

"Why are you so upset?" Sebastian asks, voice hoarse with surprise.

"I'm not," Ciel said, voice thick with tears.

"Then why are you crying?" Sebastian whispered, pain coating his tone. To see Ciel so upset physically hurt.

Sheer, desperate panic claws it's way up and out of the youth, sending him into a defensive mindset. When his counterpart repeats the question, he takes a step back, wild eyes gazing up as he screams. "I don't know! I don't _fucking_ know, okay?" He draws in a ragged breath as his body tenses up in anticipation of more questions.

Even though the outburst shocks him, Sebastian reaches a hand out for Ciel, wanting to give him a comforting touch to soothe whatever ails him. A loud smack and a sharp pain on the back of his hand as it is swatted away makes him freeze in his tracks.

"Don't fucking touch me! Don't you dare touch me," Ciel cries out, his voice rising in octaves before dropping down to a menacing whisper. Having his touch be rejected hurts more than the smack ever could have, and it shows in his eyes.

Ciel takes another step back, panic seizing an even better hold on him as he sees the hurt in Sebastian's sanguine eyes, and guilt rises up in him. He starts to breathe erratically, drawing into himself as even more tears blur his vision. He feels like a wild animal that's been caught in a bear trap, with no forseeable escape. With every fiber of his being, Ciel wants nothing more than for everything to stop, to not have to _feel_ everything so strongly, to not have the person that makes him this way standing in front of him. _You're having a panic attack_ , the thought whispered in the back of his mind. Acknowledging it did nothing to soothe the crazy that he was feeling. He could feel Sebastian's eyes on him, and he was disgusted with himself for letting his counterpart see him this way. He _refused_ to break down in front of him, but still he could not control himself. Swallowing a lump in his throat, his voice sounds eerily calm as he whispers, "Get out." Ciel looks down at the floor, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest. Saying those two words felt like he was swallowing glass, and he couldn't bear to see anymore hurt that was sure to flutter across Sebastian's face. All he was trying to do was get him to leave so that he could have his mental breakdown alone, without ruining the image that Sebastian had of him. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth until it was bloody, trying to calm down and even out his breathing.

After several tension-heavy moments, Sebastian's voice comes out whisper-soft, as though he's trying to soothe a frightened animal. "Ciel... I'm not sure I..." he trails of, tones of uncertainty coloring the words. He knew something was terribly wrong, and all he wanted to do was help the fragile male.

Sebastian takes a small step towards Ciel, once again reaching and wanting so desperately to comfort him in the only way he knows how. As his hand makes contact with his arm, the youth wrenches away, backhanding the offending appendage.

"Don't," he hisses, turning a watery glare to his counterpart.

"Ciel, please, if you won't accept my touch, at least talk to me. Tell me what's wrong, let me help you..." Sebastian murmurs weakly, his arm dropping back to his side. His heart squeezes painfully at each rejection, trying to keep the hurt off his face.

"Get out," Ciel repeats, a little louder this time. _Maybe if he leaves, all this stuff going on inside me will disappear, too,_ he thinks, feeling oddly childlike. After all, it seemed that Sebastian was the cause of the tempest inside of him.

"What did I do to make you so upset?" Sebastian asks, his voice breaking unintentionally. Why did it seem to bother him so much if the youth was upset by something he must have done? Why did it hurt to be rejected, and ordered out? If he knew what was best for them both, he would turn away and walk out the front door, as requested of him. But Sebastian didn't want what would be better for him; he wanted to be near the person who had come into his life and destroyed it. Deep inside him, he knew that Ciel felt the same way. He reaches a hand out to the youth, but doesn't step forward or touch him without permission; he's inviting him to take his hand, to yearn for his touch enough that he takes those few steps to close the distance. "We can work through this... if you'd just let me help you, kitten."

Ciel feels like he's being torn apart by the hurricane of emotions warring inside his chest, and quite suddenly, rage flickers to life. It burns everything else away, feeding off every emotion and negative thought until it is all that's left. It sets fire to his veins, screaming to be released. The temptation is too much, it's too easy to give in; his mind would be so blissfully numb if he just gave into the anger. Ciel let's loose his hold on the reigns, allowing the flames of this single emotion to consume him. The red curtain of fury falls over him, and he loses himself. His hands itch to hit something, to do _anything_ violent, so he picks up the shot glass and flings it blindly at Sebastian.

"Get out, get the fuck out!" rips from his throat, over and over, like a broken record, as he begins throwing whatever he can get his hands on. Sebastian stands there and takes it, hoping that the rage that so quickly came to life will burn itself out. He doesn't duck out of the way, in case it only serves to fuel the fire in his counterpart. Now Ciel is speaking in incoherent spurts, his voice rising in octaves until it can't get any higher, and he sounds like a desperate, keening animal. His fingers curl around a shard of the broken tequila bottle, ripping into the soft flesh of the digits. As blood begins to steadily drip from Ciel's hand, a blow of shock combined with worry hits Sebastian in the stomach, and he rushes forward. His need to tend to the wounds and be sure that Ciel is okay outweighs the rational thought to let him burn off his anger and calm down. As his fingers brush along the shorter male's wrist in an attempt to gently grab hold, a sharp pain blooms across his left shoulder. Slowly, Sebastian turns his head to stare at the bloody piece of glass now jutting from his aching upper arm. Bringing his right hand up slowly, he carefully grabs hold of the glass and pulls it out. He grinds his teeth together as this brings a fresh round of pain. He pushes the sleeve out of the way to see blood beginning to pool and ooze as if it is weeping.

Ciel freezes as the curtain comes up and he becomes self-aware once more, his voice dying in his throat as the realisation that he stabbed Sebastian dawns on him. His wavering blue eyes settle on the wound that is pouring blood, his hands fluttering uselessly at his sides, unsure of what to do. Self-loathing and guilt weigh down on him, replacing the all-consuming rage. With his chest heaving, he takes a tiny step forward, lips parting. His non-wounded hand comes up shakily, and freezes in the air as Ciel wavers with indecision. He allows it to drop before taking a few steps back, terrified that he may hurt his taller counterpart again. Unaware of the indecision warring within the youth, Sebastian feels his presence move away from him, and pain worse than that in his shoulder stabs him in the heart. A ringing in his ears and dizziness swooping over him alerts him to the fact that he's losing quite a bit of blood. A sense of urgency overrides the emotional pain that Ciel keeps inflicting on him, and the need to get to a hospital as fast as he can overcomes him. All he can hear is the ringing in his ears, and a flutter of panic rears up, tightening in his chest.

"Seb-" he starts, but before he can even get the name over his lips, Sebastian turns and speed walks from him as fast as he can. Shock hits Ciel in the stomach at the sight of his retreating back. It was true, in his panic attack, he had told the taller male to get out, but now he wasn't so sure that was what he really wanted.

Sebastian should have left the first time Ciel told him to get out; he felt like it was his fault that they both ended up wounded. He was livid, but it wasn't directed at the youth; it was directed at himself for letting the situation get so out of control. His head was swimming, which alarmed him and instilled in him the fact that he had to leave, _now_ , before things got even worse, or he bled to death. The sound of his footsteps receding into the living room and the soft click of the front door falling shut echoed in Ciel's head with finality.

The blae-haired male feels himself crumbling away as wave after wave of sorrow, guilt, and self-hatred crash over him. A sob tears it's way up his throat and leaves his lips with force. Soon, they too wrack his body, and he collapses to his knees, curling in on himself, the stinging wound in his hand long-forgotten. The feeling of not being able to breathe without a hitch in his breath weighs on him.

"C-come ba-ack," he hiccups out, though he knows that no one can hear him. "I'm s-sorry," he whispers, closing his eyes tightly and curling into the fetal position.

There on the kitchen floor, lying in a puddle of blood and tears, Ciel allows himself to be swept away in the relentless torrent of his emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: Was that not too painful to bare? Let me tell you, this won't be easily resolved. The next chapter is going to be nothing but one giant flashback, so you finally get to see more in depth Sebastian's past! Isn't that exciting? On another note, my completed fanfic That Butler-Photographed has been added to a community hell-bent on getting it taken down, revised, or having my account disabled (this is all occurring on fanfiction(dot)net). I've gotten a comment from some random that they will continue to flag my story until I revise it, etc, etc. Their reason for this being "this site doesn't allow mature content..." To which I say, what the fuck does the rating M mean then? I'm pretty goddamn sure M means Mature. I am not going to pander to everyone; my fanfics are meant only for a small demographic, ones that enjoy what I write and are mature enough to handle it. I am not going to hinder my creativity by restricting myself to trashy romance level bullshit. I am not going to sugar-coat the sex scenes in any of my fanfics, or make it less descriptive. I do not write romance novels nor do I use descriptive words such as "pink nubs" for nipples, or "throbbing manhood" for dick. I write fanfiction, where the sex isn't made pretty with cutesy words; it's full of raw passion, and it's going to stay that way. I refuse to have my creativity hindered by this "no mature" bullshit people keep spouting. How about this: if you don't want mature fanfics on this site, don't have the option to rate one mature. I'm not going to change my fanfics so that kids can read them, because frankly I don't think children should even be reading fanfiction. Most fanfiction is making characters fuck that you wish fucked in the original stories, or creating an OC to fuck a character that you wanted to fuck. It's about putting your fantasies to paper and sharing them with like minded people.
> 
> The point to all this ranting is to enlighten people on why I started posting on AO3. My fanfictions are still available on fanfiction(dot)net, but if there comes a time where my account is disabled and my stories removed, this will be my primary and only site that I post to. 
> 
> I'm sorry for sandwiching the chapter so tightly between the notes; I'll try to keep the next act's notes to a minimum. Thanks so much to all for your support~ I love each and every one of you little doves/sweet kittens.
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy


	13. Act XIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, this chapter is mainly a flashback chapter. I'm cutting the whole flashback into 2 or 3 chapters, depending on length and how much angst I have to pack in. I don't want to overload you too much with angst ^-^ Again, I know how long it's been since I've posted anything. I'm also sorry if this chapter sucks, I'm writing it write before I go to bed, and I go to bed insanley early lately. I'm not sure if I told you, dear readers, but I'm currently in cosmetology school and it's taking up a lot of my time. I also still don't have internet, which really fucking sucks and I hate it. I wish I could update more often, but alas, that is impossible as of right now. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and all the angst I'm going to give you. Please be aware of the warnings.
> 
> Warnings: Angst, vulgar language, derogative language, homophobic slurs, domestic violence, mentions of alcohol abuse, drug abuse, murder. Trigger Warning: physical, violent abuse.

**Act XIII**

The world was silent and the streets empty by the time Sebastian finally made it home. Spending upwards of three hours in the emergency room whilst his arm steadily bled out was ridiculous. By the time the doctors had decided to see him, he was terribly pale with a cold sweat breaking out over his skin. It really had only taken them about 30 minutes to stitch up his arm, so he didn't understand why they didn't decide to make him a priority when he was literally bleeding everywhere. The gaping wound in his left shoulder took 15 stitches to close it, quite an amazing feat for someone so tiny wielding such a thin shard of glass. He was both impressed and slightly alarmed, but mostly he was exhausted and wanted nothing more than his bed. That wasn't exactly truthful; what he wanted most was to be curled up in bed with his spitfire of a kitten and forget that any of this had ever happened. Alas, what wishful thinking.

Sebastian unlocked his front door, leaning heavily against the wall as he dragged his feet past the threshold. After shutting and locking the door, he trudged past his living room and headed towards the stairs. As he looked up them, he realised that he hadn't the energy to deal with such a daunting task as climbing up a flight of stairs, and with a sigh he trudged back into the living room, settling in upon the couch. A tinkling bell and the pattering of tiny feet alerted him moments before a ball of black fur hurled itself at him. He chuckled as the tiny cat meowed, nuzzled, and cried at him, running his hand down her slim back.

"Soot, I've been neglecting you, haven't I?" Sebastian cooed at her, scratching behind her ears and giving her all the affection she desired. She huffed at him in agreement before going back to rubbing the side of her face against his jaw. He smiled slightly, taking a gentle hold on her as he twisted his body into a laying position. His head rested against the soft arm of the leather couch, his eyes closing. He felt tiny paws rotating on his chest as Soot got comfortable, before curling up and purring like a chainsaw.

"If you keep up that noise, I won't be able to sleep, Soot," he scolded lightly, though it was entirely a lie. Her purrs always soothed and relaxed him, helping to lull him into unconsciousness.

Though tonight, as exhausted as he was, his mind kept circling back to Ciel and the night's events. He had no idea why Ciel had been avoiding him. The night of the carnival had seemed perfect, almost date-like. And the sex afterward blew his mind. So why...? Was there something wrong with Sebastian? Was Ciel bored of him? Did he find him repulsive and undesirable now? Those negative questions kept dancing around in his head, yet a single thought was nagging in the back of his mind. Thinking those things hurt terribly; if Ciel was through with him, it would devastate him. But... why would it? Sebastian had never felt anything like this before. It was exhilerating and frightening, and he felt as though he kept being drawn to a flame, only to burn himself, over and over again. He just couldn't seem to help himself, nor could he seem to care. All he really cared about was Ciel, and his well-being and happiness. _Why?_ he asked himself for the thousandth time, still not finding the answer.

He must have drifted off without realising it, because he knew he was dreaming when he looked upon his mother's youthful smiling face...

* * *

_The woman had long, curly black tresses that bounced when she moved. Her laughing eyes were the color of chocolate, and that ever-present smile lit up her whole face. Love was etched in that smile, love for her three year old son alone. He looked like her, she was often told, a statement which made her chest swell with happiness. She would have been the perfect mother..._

_The lighting in the room changes as a tall, fierce man comes barreling into the room. He has a sharp jawline, his teeth clenched in anger and his garnet eyes flaming. This man was terrifying, and Sebastian could feel himself shrinking back, trying to hide out of the angry man's sight. This man was his "father", though he hadn't truly been one. He would never have been. Sebastian slipped between to chairs, crouching down low to make himself less visible. His mother spun around, shock twisting her expression as a fist slammed hard into her face, and she flew back._

_"You stupid fucking cunt! You forgot to get my beer again! How many fucking times do I have to tell you?" He roared as his booted foot swung and slammed into her ribcage. The air flew from her lungs, and she gasped without drawing air for several painful seconds. Large hands tangled in her beautiful hair, yanking her up so he could yell in her face, his spittle flecking her pale skin._

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she sobbed frantically, but she didn't fight back. She knew that he would soon run out of anger, if only she didn't try to run. "I-I can go back to the store, darling. To make up f-for my mistake, I'll get you two packs, all right?" Her whole body trembled as she tried to make her tone as soothing as possible, trying to diffuse the situation. She felt his fingers relax their grip on her hair before he released her._

_"...Fine. But they better be the 24 packs," he grumbled, the anger leaving him in a puff of smoke._

_"Of course, love. Of course. Whatever you want," she murmured coaxingly. "Just let me get Sebastian ready, and I'll-"_

_"No! Go by yourself. If he goes with you, it'll take longer! And you'll end up buying him some bullshit that he doesn't need." His body tensed up, anger beginning to brew once more within him._

_"You're absolutely right, darling," she whimpered, her shaky hand moving to rest on his arm. "It was silly of me to think. He's three now, and you're very capable of taking care of him." His mother gave him a sweet smile, leaning close and kissing his cheek. He couldn't see the tears in her eyes; she hated leaving her son with this man. God only knows what he did to him when she wasn't around._

_"Damn right. He's a pansy momma's boy. We don't want to encourage that faggot behavior," he growled, smacking her on the ass and causing her to jump. "Now hurry up and get my beer." She left without another word, though her heart ached for Sebastian._

_She did hurry, though she almost wasn't fast enough. Sebastian's father was in the bathroom, flying high on heroine, and the tiny child had seen from the crack in the door as his father injected himself with the drug. As he was about to push the door open, he felt warm arms encase him and lift him away, the sweet lilt of his mother's voice whispering in his ear._

_"Let's not bother daddy, love. He's in a bad way right now." Sebastian clung tight to his mother, nodding his head, even though he didn't quite understand what she meant. He was_ always _in a bad way._

* * *

_She cut off her hair; that was his next blurry memory. The long locks that he enjoyed playing with were now nothing but a frizzed out bob. He knew why she did it, though. It made it harder for his father to get a grip on her hair._

_"I don't like it, mummy," Sebastian told her dully, a small frown marring his face._

_The bruise on her cheek was just beginning to fade, though her ribs seemed to forever ache: one was probably broken._

_"You don't like my hair, love?" she asked, faux-hurt coating her tone._

_Sebastian shook his head, his fingers pushing strands around and examining it. "Nope. But I love you mummy. So, it's okay."_

_This got her to smile that bright smile of hers, and he felt warmth spread in his chest. Love? "I'm so happy that I have the most wondrous son in the world," she cooed, her eyes watery with joyful tears._

* * *

_She wasn't happy for long. She didn't smile anymore. She just sat in a rocking chair, staring out the window with a blank expression on her face, though her eyes were filled with pain. Sebastian knew something was wrong. She had been so happy a few months ago, when she told him her secret. She had whispered in his ear, her smile wider than he could remember seeing it._

_"Sebastian, you're going to have a baby brother or sister soon. Isn't that exciting?" He had nodded enthusiastically. He had been happy too._

_But he wasn't happy anymore. She never looked at him, never hugged him, or even talked to him. She just sat, staring out at nothing. A few nights ago he had heard screaming. Sebastian had crawled out of bed, sneaking down the hall to peek into his parents' room. His mother was crying and dry heaving as his father repeatedly kicked her in the stomach and called her a dirty whore and a bunch of other names. "We can't afford another one of those brats, you fucking bitch!" Her haunting cries had sent Sebastian flying back to his bedroom, where he hid his head under a pillow and tried to shut out the fight._

_"I'm going to work," his father's gruff voice made him jump._

_When his heart calmed down, he turned to look at the scary man that was his father, and tried to do how his mother always did: he smiled at him._

_"Okay daddy. I'll stay here and take care of mummy. Have a good day at work," he said in his sweetest voice, flinching slightly when a big hand came down on his head and ruffled his hair._

_His father walked out the door, and Sebastian turned his gaze back onto his shell of a mother. Her eyes flickered to life as she watched her husband walk down the driveway and get into his car. She waited 20 minutes after he drove away, before she finally moved out of her chair. She dragged her feet as she slowly walked toward the front door, but she stopped when Sebastian called out to her. Finally, she turned and looked at him, her eyes glossy with unshed tears. He ran to her and she kneeled, hugging him tightly before pulling him back and looking at him._

_"I'm sorry, love. Mummy has been in a bad way lately. But, I'm going to go out and buy you a present, and your father too, to make it up to you. Doesn't that sound nice?" She smiled at him, though it wavered on her face. "But since it's a present, you can't come with me, because it's a surprise. I'll be back soon, okay? Be a good boy. I love you," she whispered as she leaned in to kiss his cheek, a single tear slipping down her cheek. She left, barefoot and without a coat._

_"Don't forget your shoes mummy!" He yelled after her, standing on the front porch as he watched her walk off into the distance, her silhouette slowly fading out of his view._

_She didn't come back, and he fell asleep on the porch waiting for her. But his father did come back._

_"Wake up, you little shit!" His father screamed in his face as he was shaken awake. "Where is that bitch mother of yours?!"_

_Sebastian could feel his head snapping back and forth, and he began to cry in fear. "I don't know! She went to get you a present!" He wailed, squirming and trying to get away from the shaking that was making him dizzy and nauseous._

_"Bullshit, you fucking liar! You know where she is! Tell me!"_

_"I don't know, I don't know!" Sebastian whimpered, flailing as his father dragged him in the house and beat the shit out of him for the first time._

_They both found out where she went the next day as they watched the news, when her body was found painted on the front of a train. She was almost unrecognizable. His father went into a rage, trashing the house, and he hid under his bed, still black and blue from last night's beating._

* * *

_A year later and a month after Sebastian's birthday, he killed his father. Every day, his father would come home from work, get drunk, and then kick him around until he passed out from the pain. His body was covered in bruises, and his left eye was swollen shut. IT was his father's nightly ritual to shoot up in the bathroom after tiring himself out from kicking around his four year old son. Sebastian made it a habit to watch his father inject the heroine in his arm, hiding behind the door. He would always run to his room and slip into his bed while he waited for his father to fall asleep, and then he would barricade his door. Every morning he would wake up early and remove the barricade before pretending to be asleep when his father came to check on him, making sure that he hadn't run away like his "whore" mother._

_Sebastian knew how she felt, then: worn down, broken, completely unable to take it anymore. But he had a different solution. He had heard about drug overdoses on the news, how too much could kill you. He knew that his father wasn't using a lethal dose, just enough to get him high, which really didn't seem like all that much. So that night, after his father had fallen asleep on the toilet, he didn't barricade his bedroom; instead, he silently slipped into the hallway and crawled his way to the bathroom. Peeking in, he spotted the needle on the counter. He scooted into the bathroom and stood up, carefully picking up the needle, still filled with the drug his father so loved. He could see the prick of where the needle went in on the crook of his father's arm, and with one calculated movement, he stuck the needle right into the vein. He pushed down on the top of the syringe, sending all of the heroine into his father's bloodstream. After a few moments, he turned and went back to his room, falling fast asleep without a care in the world, leaving the needle sticking out of his arm._

_The next morning, he got up and peered into the bathroom, where his father's lifeless husk still sat. Sebastian sat down in the bathroom, thinking of all the horror the scary man had put him through. He thought of his beautiful mother, and how this man had stolen the light right out of her eyes. He hadn't really thought about his mother since she died, and now that he allowed himself to, the tears flowed freely. Sebastian sobbed openly, allowing himself only a moment of true grief, before he ran out his front door and over to his neighbor's house. He pounded on the door, wailing and whimpering, tears still streaming down his face. When the neighbor finally opened the door, looking half-awake and entirely alarmed, he threw his arms around the woman's leg._

_"Something's wrong with daddy! He won't wake up!" he cried, sounding utterly heartbroken._

_His elderly lady called the police, and they were there within 15 minutes, along with an ambulance. He knew that they had his father in the black bag on the stretcher, and he felt the swell of freedom rise up within him._

_He felt free, elated that he had finally escaped from his personal hell. The police took him into custody and doted on him, cooing about how sad it was that he lost both his parents. They thought it was terribly tragic. Truly, the only thing that saddened Sebastian was the loss of his mother, but he contented himself with the memories of the smell of her hair, of the way her smile seemed to light up the world, how warm her hugs were, and the way she smothered him with her love. His father was rotten, always stuck in a bad way, and he had killed him. A secret that he would never tell._

_Sebastian's freedom was soon delfated when the police, not knowing what else to do with him, dropped him off at the Catholic orphanage run by nuns. Once again he was caged in by cruel people..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: So, I really don't feel like reading through and revising or changing things up. I'm really quite tired, and I can barely keep my eyes open now. I hope this chapter wasn't too painful to read, referring to shit writing as well as all the violence. This chapter is pretty dark, and the flashback only gets darker from here on out. As I said, I may break this up into one or two more chapters, just because it is so heavy with angst. I don't want to pile it on my dear readers too hard, because I do love you dearly~ All right sweet kittens/little doves, I am done for the night! Please give me delicious comments, I'd really appreciate it, and you'd make my day(night).  
> I do have a few questions though... Are you enjoying this little trip into Sebastian's past? Do you guys see why he's so fucked up, and do you also understand why? Do you still love him and root for him? Let me know~ And also, feel free to ask me some questions! I promise that I respond to EVERY SINGLE COMMENT, and that if I can answer your question without spoiling anything, I will.
> 
> Edit: The cat's name has been changed to Soot.  
> Kisses, Ritsy


	14. Act XIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Let me start this off by apologizing profusely for failing to post for so long. I've been a full time cosmetology student for the past few months and have had no time whatsoever to relax or do anything that I enjoy, let alone write for you darling readers. On top of that, I'm applying for a job, so I should be even more busy. However, I'm a terrible person for knowing that I can always make time for what I love, and yet never doing so. Give your thanks to SebasuchansKtten, because once again they've kicked my ass into gear. Without this lovely author, I would probably still be twiddling my thumbs. Here is a promise; no matter how busy I get, I will do my damnedest to post at least every two weeks. That way, while this story is still on a prolonged hiatus, it will be broken up and give you something to look forward to. I am not abandoning this story, and I never will. I will see it through to the bloody end, and I will not half-ass nor will I rush it. It is going to play out exactly as I wanted it to from the start, with more than 20 chapters of relevant content. There will be plot, character development, smut, fluff, angst, and everything you could ever want from a story. Okay, enough of my psychobabble; please enjoy the second installment of flashbacks.
> 
> Warnings: Nuns, religion, swearing, death, mentions of non-consensual sex. Triggers: mentions of rape, abuse.

**Act XIV**

* * *

_Sebastian had only lived in the Orphanage for a few months. It was the same every day; the nuns would look down upon him with disdain on their wizened faces, eyes dark with contempt. Their hushed tones did nothing to hide the harsh words they spoke of him._

_"A devil child, he is," one would murmur, her eyes watching him pass her by._

_Others would voice their agreement, one stating, "He must be; his father was a drug addict who overdosed, and his mother jumped in front of a train."_

_It always hurt, to hear them speak so horribly of his mother, as if she were a disgusting creature, on the level of his sperm donor, for seeking the only way out of the abusive environment that she could. Sebastian knew that his mother felt it was her only escape, that he would find her wherever else she had gone._

_"Such a sad thing to condemn themselves to hell, wouldn't you agree, sisters?" One of them would sigh, though she sounded nowhere near saddened. Hums of agreement rose up, and Sebastian would quickly walk away before he had an outburst._

_His mother had been the only beautiful thing in his life; she was a ray of sunshine, brightening up his day, and now she was gone. If there was a heaven, he knew that she would be there, and his "father" would be burning in the eternal flames of hell, never able to reach her or hurt her ever again. He took comfort in that fact._

_As the nuns continued to treat him as though he were a demon, he began to act out. Every Sunday, he was forced to sit with the other orphans through Mass, as the Father lead them through prayer and hymns. Sebastian would never pray, never bow his head to a God he didn't believe existed. He never dared to sing along, always staring forward defiantly. The nuns would whack him with rulers, sit him down for hours at a time, and make him listen to verses ad nauseam. Anytime he would sigh, or begin to slouch, he would be lashed thoroughly._

_"What a blasphemous child you are," one of the particularly vocal nuns would hiss. Sister Sophia-Anna, the eldest, and perhaps nastiest, nun of the lot, would constantly torment him with horrid words about his mother. "She turned away from God. A wicked woman she was, abandoning her child and throwing away God's love."_

_Sebastian would grit his teeth, holding his tongue and clenching his fists tightly. He knew if he were to talk back, he would be forced to say too many Hail Mary's to count, and would be beaten to within an inch of his life with the blasted ruler._

* * *

_For 4 years, he held in his anger, but he was being worn thin with the daily taunts from the vicious nun. The day Sister Sophia-Anne caught Sebastian napping in a pew whilst the Sunday service was going on was the straw that finally broke the camel's back. Roughly rousing him and yanking him out of the worship room, she led him to her office, anger radiating off of her._

_"You filthy heaven, defiling the house of God!" she spat at him, her wrinkly old hands reaching for her ruler. "You're a demon, damned to hell just as your parents before you. The spawn of a drug addict and a suicidal prostitute, it amazes me that God has not struck you down where you stand. Coming from such sin, you must be the Devil's child." As she yelled her anger at him, she whipped out her ruler, smacking him clear across the face._

_Whether it was the careless way she struck him, or her blatantly calling his mother a whore, he could never be sure. Sebastian did snap though, anger filling him. "Fuck you!" he screamed, snatching her ruler from her claws and smacking her arm with it. "You're a rotten cunt! How dare you speak of my mother that way, as if you're better than her!" He swung out again, striking her wildly in the leg. "My mother was a saint; she was beautiful and loving. She never raised a hand to anybody. And you sit here,_ abusing _children, and call yourself a Godly woman? You're nothing but a crotchety old bitch!" With that, he snapped the ruler over his knee and flung it uselessly to the ground. Breathing heavily, he stared at the shocked Sophia-Anne, her weathered face pale, and her eyes wide and doe-like. His anger began to dissipate, and his limbs went numb with the realisation of what he had just done._

_With a surprising calm, the nun turned away from him, walking over to her desk and picking up the phone. After dialing a number, she held the phone to her ear and waited patiently. When it stopped ringing and a cheery hello came in from the receiver, she stared directly into Sebastian's eyes as she spoke. "Hello, Sister Opal, it's Sister Sophia-Anne. We have had an incident with Sebastian," she practically sneered his name. "It is absolutely important that as soon as Mass is over, that you alert the Father that he is needed in my office. It seems that I must call in a higher power, as my punishments are no longer enough to tame this devil of a child."_

_"Oh, dear. I always knew that child was a bad seed," Sister Opal's tinny voice raised an octave and could be heard even by Sebastian through the receiver._

_"We need the hand of God, I'm afraid, to smite the evil that is in this child."_

* * *

_What felt like hours later to the Nun came too soon for Sebastian. Dread coiled in his stomach like a snake, making him feel nauseous. An authoritative knock sounded from the door, and Sophia-Anne rushed forward, opening it and welcoming him in. "Father," she murmured, her voice as soft as a sigh._

_"Sister Sophia-Anne," the Father said, his voice grave. "Please explain what has happened."_

_Stepping aside, the sister, pointed at Sebastian, her face saddened. "I'm afraid it is this child, Father. Ever since he has come here, the Sisters and I have felt a dark presence in him. His parents must have turned their backs on God and become Devil-worshippers. There is a great evil in the child, an evil that he has made known on this very day." she took a trembling breath, barely glancing at Sebastian as she continued. "As you know, he has always been quite the troublemaker, in the 4 years that he has been here. We Sisters have tried to guide him to the path of light, rigorously teaching him the word of God. It seems that despite our best efforts..." Trailing off, the sister sobbed. "Father, today he called me unspeakable names and beat me with the ruler until it broke."_

_At this, the Father looked deeply perturbed. He rested a gentle hand on Sophia-Anne's shoulder in a comforting gesture. "Sister Sophia-Anna, I will take this devil child under my guidance, and through me God will show him the light. For his unforgivable act against you, I will punish him thoroughly, and you need not worry any longer."_

_The nun gave him thanks, crossing herself and bowing her head in respect. The Father led Sebastian out, his large hand resting on his back as he took him to his private quarters. Finally,_ finally _, he had this child in his grasp. 4 years had been much too long for the Father._

* * *

_It started out innocently enough. The Father would whip Sebastian as the young male recited Our Father's and Hail Mary's until his voice went raw. "Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen." In the beginning, he didn't remember all the words, but as it would ignite more lashings from the Father, he quickly memorised it and would recite it without hesitation or faltering from the pain._

_This would take place daily, several times a day, though he would mostly recite Hail Mary's. "You must repent, child of sin. Ask God for forgiveness. Again," he demanded, and Sebastian would._

_"Hail Mary, full of Grace," he began, his voice rough from the constant speech. "The Lord is with thee. Blessed are thou among women and blessed is the fruit of they womb, Jesus." When the whip ripped across his back, he stifled a cry of pain and finished the prayer. "Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen."_

_It did not remain innocent for long. The Father began demanding things that Sebastian didn't quite understand._

_"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned," he would murmur at the beginning of every session, on his knees with bowed head in front of the Father._

_It was then, at nine years of age, that Sebastian learned what it was like to have a dick in his mouth. It would gag him, abuse his throat, leave him gasping for air and sickened to his core. He wanted so badly to vomit when the Father abused his mouth, though he never would, knowing that he would be whipped. Every time the Father came, Sebastian had to swallow, and then recite the Act of Contrition._

_"My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart," he would gasp out, drool leaking from his mouth and voice raw. "In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against You, whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with the help of Your grace, to sin no more and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have Mercy." He would bow his head, disgust in himself and the Father filling him._

_The Father would pray the prayer of absolution, and Sebastian knew that he got off on this power play. He knew deep inside that there was no God, that the man before him was not holy, but a hideous pervert hiding his sick desires behind the mask of a Godly man. He was the worst of them all, including Sophia-Anne._

* * *

_As years passed, the Father became greedy for Sebastian's body. He had long moved on from using his mouth for pleasure, and had stolen the young boy's innocence as if it belonged to him. Sebastian felt dead inside, the light in his eyes no longer there. He was numb, taking the abuse every day and night. He had no hope; it had dried up long ago, leaving an empty hole where his heart should have been. This must have been how his mother had felt, when his father had kicked her repeatedly in the stomach, insuring that she had a miscarriage. He had stolen her light, just as the Father had stolen his. Would he succumb to the comfort of death, as she had? At 14, did he have the will to live on when all he wanted was to curl up and die? Could he once again bring an evil man's life to an end, without feeling remorse?_

_If anyone deserved to die, it was his abuser. Sebastian couldn't feel anything anymore. It was as if his nerves had withered up and died, leaving him with the absence of physical pain. It must have been a defense mechanism, though he couldn't remember when it began. It must have been after the Father began fully having his way with him._

* * *

_Sebastian was at the breaking point. He could no longer take the abuse; his brain felt like it was going to snap in half. By day, he was cleaning, nonstop, with barely a break to eat nothing but bread; by night, he was taking to the Father's bed, so that the wretched man could have his sick pleasures. The youth felt as though he were withering away to nothing. Everything he did, was mechanically so. He was living in a constant state of detachment, just as his mother had done. It was the spider he had spotted as he was absentmindedly dusting a window that finally snapped him out of his stupor._

_It was beautiful, the black widow, with her bulbous rear and her sleek, shiny exoskeleton. Her red marking was breath-taking, and he found himself mesmerised by her. Sebastian knew how he would get his freedom. Capturing the deadly beauty in a jar, he took care to hide her away, his skin crawling with excitement for tonight, the first time he had felt anything in a long time. When night fell, he packed the few things he had before heading to the Father's room._

_Knocking three times, he barely waited for permission to enter before he pushed the door open. "Father," he purred, the black widow tucked safely away behind his back._

_"One moment, Sebastian," the Father's voice came from in his private bathing chamber._

Perfect, _Sebastian thought. He quickly walked over to the Father's luxurious bed, which had been his prison for so long. He twisted the cap off of the jar, letting the deadly spider crawl out of the container and into the bedsheets. "I'm sorry, sweet girl," he crooned softly. "I've riled you up, but soon you can release your anger on someone who deserves it."_

_Straightening up, he crossed his arms and waited in anticipation for the Father to come into the bedchambers. When the man finally graced him with his presence, Sebastian quirked a brow, a smirk making his lips twitch to life._

_"Forgive me Father, for I am going to sin," he purred, slowly gliding toward the foul man, as though he were stalking his prey._

_"What do you mean, boy?" the Father asked, confusion clear on his face._

_"I mean, I am leaving this place. But before I do that..." Striking quickly, Sebastian hit a nerve that made the Father collapse, knocking him out cold. Dragging him over to the bed, he flopped him onto the mussed up sheets, disturbing the black widow._

_The beauteous spider scurried out from her hiding place, anger in her jerky movements as she climbed her way onto the man. As soon as she hit flesh, her fangs sunk into him, injecting him with her venom. Still disgruntled from being disturbed earlier, she was far from done. In her anger, she bit him several more times, injecting more of her venom into him blood stream. Sebastian was beyond happy, knowing that soon the venom would work it's magic and the Father would be dead._

_"You're going to hell," he stated matter-of-factly, a giddiness in his voice. "It's too bad I can't stay and watch you die." With a shrug and a sigh, Sebastian left the room for the final time. He grabbed his bags from his room and walked leisurely to the front entrance. He ran into Sister Sophia-Anne, who looked older and more severe than she ever had. Their eyes met, and Sebastian gave her a devilish smirk. "You can thank your God, Sophia-Anne. This loathsome demon is finally leaving this place. But let me give you a fair warning..." he paused, watching her skin lose it's color as her frown deepen. "Every time you raise your hand against a child in anger, as you are prone to do, karma will come back to you threefold. Each time you strike a child with your beloved ruler in the name of God, you are further etching your name into the list of those going to hell. May you forever burn in the eternal hellfire you so fear." With that, he got close to her, his voice grating her skin like nails. "May God have mercy on your soul..."_

_Sebastian then walked out of the front doors, never looking back at the nun he left frozen in fear. It felt as though a weight had been lifted off of him, and though he knew not where he was going or what was going to happen to him, he was happy to finally be out of that hellish Orphanage. He would never return._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: I'm so sorry for inflicting this on you. It's my first update in a long time, and I have to fill you with angst and wreck your sweet little hearts. I'm terribly sorry. The next chapter is also a flashback chapter, although it is the last one, and significantly less horrible than this one. Things will be looking up for Sebastian, so at least you have that to look forward to. Oh, and it is also going up with this one, so, double post~
> 
> For anyone that may be offended by the way I have portrayed Catholicism, and religion as a whole, I'm sorry. This was not included to mock religion, though I myself am not religious. I do not mock others beliefs, I accept them and am happy that a person believes in something that brings the joy. I had an aunt who was a nun, and she was a cold, mean woman. She was not the only nun I knew to be like this. That is not to say that all nuns are that way, but it is what I am portraying in this fictional work. Likewise, with the Father. I know that not all holy men are pedophiles, but this corruption has been noticed amongst a few of them. This is a fictional portrayal used to show why a character has developed the way he has, and it is not a shot at religion or holy persons of such. I apologize if you have been offended by this chapter, but I will not change nor take it down.
> 
> Kisses and many apologies, Ritsy


	15. Act XV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I haven't reread through this or the previous chapter, so I'm apologizing now for all of the spelling and/or grammatical errors. I tried to catch them as I went along, but I am not perfect and it's 5am. As stated in last chapter's end note, this flashback is more upbeat. I would like to take a vote for the next chapter's subject. If you want a chapter solely focused on Alois and Claude, leave a review with your vote. If you want a chapter solely on Ciel and Sebastian (which will contain more angst, mind you. Though maybe I'll be nice and they can reconcile at the end. But probably not, because I am an asshole), then leave a review with your vote. In order for me to update sooner, it is of utmost importance that you, my dear readers, cast your votes, so that I can tally up the score and jump on writing. Please note that, there will be future chapters of only Alois and Claude, which will have angst, and finally smut. There will also be a fuck ton of SebaCiel-centered chapters because this fanfic is mainly about them. I only want to give you all something to look forward to, what you want to see most. I am doing this out of love for your endless support, because I am a shitty writer and take too long to update. I adore each and every one of you, but another thanks must go out to SebasuchansKitten. Darling, you are an inspiration and you motivate me. You are an amazing writer, and goodness you are sweeter than sugar. Thank you so much for all of your wondrous feedback, and for kicking my ass into gear when I'm slacking off. You're amazing, lovely, and don't forget it~. (Yes, I am calling you out again, and YES, before you say anything otherwise, I do have to. I appreciate and adore you that much.) ENOUGH TALK. MORE STORY.
> 
> Warnings: Very slight angst, homelessness.

**Act XV**

* * *

 

_Small clouds of warm air hitting cold quickly dissipated with every drawn breath, only to once again be brought forth with every exhale. Sebastian was freezing; winter was not kind, chilling him to his core as he huddled upon the uneven concrete beneath a sad construction of boxes that he had been calling home for the past two weeks. It may not have been the best season to have left the Orphanage, and he had been barely surviving on small bowls of broth from a run-down soup kitchen, but he had never felt better. The freedom that he felt overpowered his starvation, though he knew it wouldn't remain that way for long. Soon the cold would leave him with hypothermia and frostbite, and the ever present loneliness would consume him._

_The kitten was a gift; she had found him one night and curled up beside him, her tiny meow rousing him from his restless sleep. She was a tiny thing, frail, only fur and bones, and yet he adored her. She was his, and he hers, and he named her Soot, because of her black fur. She was his only comfort, and he did everything he could to keep her warm and fed._

_Sebastian began searching for a place to stay, a job that would bring him the money he needed to put a roof over their heads, and to keep her well fed and healthy. By chance, he stumbled upon a small theatre, with large posters and bold text, announcing_ Audition now. _Taking it as a sign, he entered the warm theater and found a few people lounging, waiting to audition. An orange-haired teen, probably around his age, sat curled up with a worn copy of_ Hamlet _, his violet eyes lazily scanning the famous play. Sebastian sat alone, away from the others, with Soot curled up inside his jacket. He could hear her softly purring in her sleep, and it brought a smile to his chapped lips. Slowly, people filtered in and out of where the auditions where being held, and he bean to doze on and off, the constant comforting warm of the kitten lulling him._

_"Excuse me," a voice jolted him out of his light slumber, and he looked up with tired carmine eyes into the violet ones of the orange-haired boy. "Are ye here to audition?"_

_As awakeness took a firmer hold on him, Sebastian sat up and nodded._

_"Then ye'd be next. They're waiting for ye," the boy said with a bright smile._

_Sebastian glanced over the other youth; he looked to be homeless as well, though how someone in his position could seems so joyful was beyond him. "Would you..." his voice cracked, and he swallowed his spit in an effort to lubricate it. "Would you hold my cat for me?"_

_The orange-haired boy looked taken aback. "Cat?" He blinked slowly before a laugh barked out of him._

_Unzipping his coat, he presented Soot, who opened her eyes a slit and gave a disgruntled huff, before falling back asleep, her back legs dangling in the air. This brought another laugh from the stranger, and he slapped his knee before gingerly taking the tiny kitten._

_"Sure, I'll watch yer cat," he sniggered, shaking his head._

_Sebastian thanked him before rising from his seat and heading toward the room where auditions were being held. He wasn't nervous; after all, he had nothing to lose._

* * *

_"Well, did ye get a part?" the carrot-headed boy asked, his fingers lightly stroking Soot's stomach as Sebastian emerged from the room._

_He offered only a nod, hands reaching for the purring kitten, nuzzling his face against her fur and murmuring sweet nothings to her._

_This brought another laugh from the joyful youth, much to Sebastian's displeasure. "Name's Joker. Ye'll probably be rooming with me, seeing's how you look so young. Are ye homeless?"_

_"Yes," Sebastian replied matter-of-factly, still cradling the dainty black kitten in his hands._

_"Well, not anymore yer not. This theatre takes real good care of it's cast and crew. Treats us like family. Sure, we hafta work for our share, and we don' get paid much, but we've got a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. I won't even mind your little kitty there, since we're roomies and ye seem to come as a package deal." He paused to draw a breath, his head tilting slightly to the side. "What's yer names?"_

_"I'm Sebastian, and this little lady is Soot."_

_Joker bowed his head slightly, smile still ever present on his lips. "Well, little lady and gentlemen, let me show ye to yer new home."_

* * *

_Sebastian quite liked living in the theatre. As Joker had said, everyone was kind and treated him like family. He worked hard, cleaning, painting sets, mending costumes, and anything else he was asked to do, so that he could provide food for himself and Soot. Not that she really needed it, since everyone doted on the little creature. She was gaining weight every day, becoming more healthy. Sebastian hoped that her growth wasn't too stunted, and that as she would get bigger with the coming months. He had also been gaining much needed weight; his skin was no longer sallow, though he hd always been pale, and he was looking much healthier._

_Though he had never learned how to act, his performances always amazed; the way he portrayed the characters, filled with such raw emotion, was quite popular, and he began bringing in more and more patrons, solely based on his talents. He never thought he would love doing something as much as he loved acting. It was blissful to slip into the mindset of someone else, pretending to be another person and forgetting himself and his past. Having only lived in the theatre for a year, he excelled at what he did, and all his fellow actors were amazed at the rate he improved._

_Still, Sebastian kept his distance from everyone, never getting too close. He didn't know how to make friends, or to feel anything other than numbness and hate. He never truly smiled, only gave that devilish smirk of his, because it was all he knew. Joker was the only person who didn't seem to get the hint, or he didn't care, Sebastian couldn't tell. The young male continued to try and break him out of his shell and befriend him. At the very least, the raven-haired 15 year old could see why his name was Joker, though he was hardly ever amused by the redhead's antics. In his eyes, Soot was his only friend, and he liked it that way. He didn't realise that he had begun to let the other male in, and that he actually enjoyed his company._

* * *

_Within the next two years, Sebastian consecutively received the leading roles, gaining a massive fanbase. The theatre was making so much money because of it that they were able to invest in better costumes and sets, as well as more crew and cast members. They would have plentiful feasts every night, toasting the rising star in their midst. It was the role of Hamlet that he portrayed with reckless abandon that finally drew the interest of an agent. On the third night of the production, he was approached by a petite woman in a luxurious suit, with a boquet of red roses and a contract in hand._

_Unsure of what to do, Sebastian asked her to come back again and give him time to decide. He spent the whole night staring at the contract, absentmindedly petting Soot._

_"I think that ye should do it," Joker's voice broke into his reverie. Sebastian looked up, his eyes showing how scared he was. "This is a once in a lifetime chance. Not everyone in this career is gonna make it, and it's rare to be approached in a small-time theatre by an agent."_

_Sebastian sighed heavily, glancing back at the contract. "I just don't want to disappoint everyone."_

_"But they won't be. They'll be happy for ye. We all want ye to succeed. Yer mighty talented, Sebastian. This may not've been yer dream before you stumbled upon this place, but it's yer dream now. And ye should follow yer dreams."_

_Sebastian mulled this over, wanting to deny it, but he could feel in his gut the truth in Joker's words. "Goodnight, Joker,"was all he said as he flicked out the lamp, his eyes falling to the spot where the contract sat._

_The next day, Sebastian called for everyone's attention during breakfast. Standing, he cleared his throat as the people he had come to cherish as family quieted down. "As you all know, yesterday I got an offer from an agent. She believes that I have what it takes to become a famous actor..." He paused, wetting his lips in hesitation. "I've spent all night, debating in my head whether I could bear to part from this theatre and you, my family, to follow my dreams. I decided that... That I'm going to follow my dreams, no matter how hard the road may be. But I'm not abandoning you all; you_ are _my family, and this is my home. Half of the money I make on my journey to fulfilling my dream is going to be given to this theatre. I want you all to always live comfortably, and without fear of losing your home or family. I don't want anyone to ever experience being homeless ever again, because I know we've all been there, and I know how terrifying it is._

_"So long as I can make a name for myself, this theatre will always be spoken of fondly as the place I got my start, and I will always support it." Sebastian had to stop and swallow the lump that was forming in his throat. "Never give up; your dream is always within your reach; you just have to stretch out and grasp it." The dining room filled with applause and cheers, which were replaced by tears and declarations of familial love. The agent returned that afternoon, and Sebastian signed the contract. He gathered his belongings and Soot, dreading saying goodbye to Joker. In his time at the theatre, he had grown fond of the orange-haired male._

_They stood outside, in front of the entrance, neither moving or saying anything. Finally, Joker broke the silence, his big grin filling his face._

_"Goodbye."_

_"This isn't goodbye," Sebastian replied, his lips twitching to life, a true smile gracing them. "Reach out and catch your dream, Joker. I'll see you again, when we're both famous. And," he paused, his smile turning into his normal smirk, "I will be seeing you for Christmas, every year."_

_This brought a laugh from his friend, who shook his head. "Make sure ye bring Soot," was all he parted ways, Sebastian climbing into the agent's car, and Joker returning to the small theatre._

_There had been truth in his words; this wasn't goodbye. No matter how far away he went, or how well his acting career took off, this would always be his home; this was where his family was, and come hell or high water, he would see them all again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: And there we have it, sweet kittens and little doves, the end of the flashback arc. I'm hoping I didn't give you too many feels. There's Sebastian's past, laid out on the table for all your eyes to see. He may not seem too fucked up in the present, but let me assure you, he is. As you've seen, he's fucking amazing at hiding that shit deep down. It takes YEARS for him to snap. Now, don't forget to vote, loves. (Ciel and Sebastian or Claude and Alois as the sole focus in the next chapter.) Cast those puppies now~ I will announce the winner in the description of this work before I update, so as to prepare your sweet little selves.
> 
> As always, Kisses, Ritsy


	16. Act XVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello again, sweet kittens and little doves~ I have updated sooner than I thought I would, and that is because I've had the motivation of SebasuchansKitten~ I have wondrous news: we have decided to beta for each other~ So, if you notice a lack of typos in this chapter, it is all thanks to them! Honestly, I am the happiest person in the world right now (albeit exhausted) because my inspiration is editing my works, which is fucking awesome. Make sure you please check out SebasuchansKitten's (you can find them on AO3) works and give her lots of loving words. On another note; because the votes were inconclusive, I decided to double update. I stayed up until 7am writing, because I want everyone to be happy. Sadly though, I ended up passing out on the floor in the spare room from sheer exhaustion. This chapter is all about Alois and Claude. It has a bit of angst (sorry I love to torture you), but I think it's a good chapter nonetheless. Act 17 is solely focused on Sebastian and Ciel. The best of both worlds~ What I do for all you darling readers. I would bend over backwards for you. Enough babble, enjoy~
> 
> Warnings: Slight angst, alcoholic consumption, almost smut.

**Act XVI**

The small apartment was dark and silent, though soft murmurs and a sliver of light filtered through the cracked bedroom door. Inside, Alois was lying on his back, half wrapped up in his sheets, his head dangling off the edge of the bed. Claude was pacing back and forth, his eyes intently studying the script as he and his shorter counterpart exchanged lines. The fickle blond was growing bored with the near constant state of rehearsing; he felt as though that was all he and his boyfriend had done on their whole break. They hadn't even gone on any dates, and Alois was getting cabin fever from being cooped up in either his or Claude's place. Stifling the urge to scream, he merely let out a soft sigh, letting his eyes drift from the page that they were on. He had his lines memorized, and it was fun to practice with Claude, so that wasn't the real issue. It was the script itself he had a problem with. The way Claude's character behaved towards himself and Ciel's character unnerved him. He was already worried as it was that Claude would lose interest in him, especially because he so rarely touched him with a fiery passion. Hell, he wouldn't even go to second base with him, and it was wearing him down, slowly but surely.

"Little dove?" Claude's questioning baritone broke through Alois' reverie, drawing his eyes to those liquid golden orbs.

Sitting up, the blond cocked his head to the side. "Yes?"

The taller male set his script down atop the bedside table, and walked over to stand in front of the daintier male. "You stopped." With probing eyes, he studied his boyfriend, concern evident in his face. Something was bothering Alois, that much he could tell, but as for what, he could not begin to fathom.

Alois waved off his concern, pouncing from the bed and waltzing off toward the bedroom door. He pressed it open and began heading to the kitchen, calling over his shoulder. "Sorry, I was getting bored."

Claude frowned; that was queer. Alois never got bored of rehearsing with him, and they had been at it for almost two weeks. Maybe it was because they both had already memorized their lines and perfected their approach. Or maybe he was lying, and it wasn't boredom at all. Nevertheless, he decided a break would be for the best; he was feeling guilt for focusing solely on their scripts for the majority of their miniature vacation. He hadn't even thought to take his little dove on a date in all the time they had spent together. Making up his mind, he headed out of the room, following the sounds of things being moved about in the kitchen. Sticking his head round the doorway, he watched Alois move things around and reorganize them, a weary look aging his face.

"Shall we go to a bar?" the dark-haired man asked, smiling when the little blond's azure eyes lit up.

"That sounds fun!" he squeaked, prancing back to his bedroom to get ready.

10 minutes later, the pair were leaving the apartment and walking at a brisk pace in the chilly air, heading for the nearest bar. Claude had decided it was a better idea to walk than to drive, as he would rather be safe than sorry; they could always walk home drunk, but he refused to let either of them drive if they were going to drink. Though his decision was based on safety, Alois complained unrelentingly about how cold he was, his full lips pouting, and his arms waving manically in the air.

Claude merely chuckled, shaking his head. "If you hadn't worn those delicious short shorts, you wouldn't be so cold, little dove." This, at least, stopped his boyfriend from chirping complaints at him, and brought a lovely blush to his cheeks.

Even though the walk was short, it gave both men enough time to withdraw and turn their thoughts inward. Alois still worried over how Claude felt about him; no amount of affection could release him from his constant doubt; it never reassured him for long, always returning and ever-present. It weighed him down, dragging him into the depths of depression. Why did Claude still refuse to have sex with him? Surely he had proved to him that he wanted that connection to him, and yet his devilishly sexy boyfriend still denied him the thing he so craved. With a worried glance in his taller counterpart's direction, he bit his lip and looked downward, wrapping his arms around himself. Claude was thinking, he could tell, but what he was thinking of, he could only wrongly assume. _It must be about how he's growing tired of me,_ the wretched thought tore through him, making his heart squeeze painfully.

Alois could not have been more wrong; Claude was thinking about what had been on his mind with persistence in the past week that they had spent together. The man wanted nothing more than to ask Alois if he wanted to move in together. It was a logical idea, though it scared him. What if Alois said no? What if it was too early to be thinking that far ahead into their relationship? Was he rushing things? They had only been dating for around 4 and a half months, but Claude had a rule that he wouldn't start a relationship if he didn't plan to be with that person, and only that person. He refused to string somebody along, only to end the relationship a short while after. No, Claude was the kind of person to choose a partner based on having a future together. He would be lying if he said he didn't see himself proposing to the little bipolar blond in the future. His feelings for Alois were genuine, he was just afraid to rush things, and that fear was keeping him from letting his desire to have him fully take over. Claude didn't want Alois to start thinking that he only wanted sex from him, even if that was something that he did want. It was not the only thing, and he was out to prove it to his little dove. _Maybe I should ask him to move in with me..._

The cacophony of voices, slurred from alcoholic consumption, pulled them both from their thoughts as they neared the bar. Alois perked up visibly and began bouncing as his stride picked up. This brought a smile to Claude's face, and he too picked up the pace to keep up with his boyfriend. The bouncer recognized the couple, and let them in without hesitation. The blond squealed in delight as the smell of sweat, tobacco, and booze hit his nostrils. Finally, he was out of his wretched apartment; it had begun to feel like a cage. Making a beeline for the bar, he avoided bumping into any drunkards and hopped up onto a bar stool, flashing a flirty smile at the female bartender to get her attention. She came over as Claude reached the bar and sat next to Alois, her cockney accent thick as she asked what she could get for them.

"The strongest fruity drink you have," Alois purred, leaning into the counter top and bouncing in his seat.

Claude smiled slightly at his shorter counterparts excitement before answering her. "I'll have the Black Death."

Alois jolted in shock, turning to look at his boyfriend. "You do know what's in that, don't you?"

The golden-eyed male nodded, his lips curling into a smirk. "A little bit of everything."

This caused Alois to giggle and shake his head. "I see someone's looking to get wasted, and fast."

"It's been a while," Claude replied, smirk still present on his lips. "I figured we deserve to let loose."

The blond nodded his agreement, but didn't reply because his drink was set down in front of him. Without any hesitation, he threw it back like a shot, licking his lips and relishing in the sweet taste. Claude did the same with his drink, although his nose wrinkled with the strength and conflicting flavors. The Black Death was not the most delicious drink, but it got the job done fast.

Several drinks later, Alois was pleasantly tipsy, leaning more towards drunk, and his boyfriend looked positively smashed. Seeing it as his chance to seduce the brick wall that he had claimed as his, Alois clambered atop the bar with confidence, if a bit wobbly.

"Little dove," Claude slurred, reaching forward and trying to get a grip on his slender hips. "What are you doing?"

Azure eyes flashed deviously as the blond scooted out of his reach, standing fully on the wooden surface. He began to move his hips to the beat of the music, arms raising above his head as he let go and danced. Each movement was precise and well thought out; his body moved sensually and his eyes never left Claude. His counterpart was staring at him with hunger in those molten gold eyes, which was exactly what he wanted to see. With each song that played, his dance got more seductive, sweat glistening on his skin. Alois' shirt was riding up, exposing the creamy flesh that wrapped around his midriff. He rocked and rolled his hips provocatively, daring Claude to reach out and touch him with his heated gaze.

Claude could feel his trousers constricting as his dick hardened and strained against his pants. He wasn't thinking clearly, his mind muddled with alcohol and lust. Not one to back down from a dare, he stood, grasping his boyfriend's gyrating hips and practically snatching him off the bar. Alois squeaked at the rough handling, his heartbeat kicking into overdrive. The taller male refused to let the blond stand; he held the youth against him, throwing billets onto the bar before exiting the building so fast, you'd have thought it was on fire. The walk back to Alois' apartment was quick, though it felt excruciatingly slow, as the blond purposefully writhed and wriggled against Claude, rubbing against his throbbing length quite lewdly.

The younger male positively purred, his hands wandering all over his counterpart's muscular body, his lips and tongue trailing over his neck, teeth nipping. He was driving Claude absolutely insane with need and lust. As soon as they were inside, he kicked the door shut, forcing Alois' head up and smashing his lips against his. He kissed him hungrily, his feet taking him to the bedroom from memory, as Claude couldn't be bothered to look where he was going. They fell onto the bed, Alois keening and writhing beneath his massive body. His heart was ready to jump out of his chest, his need making his hands shake and he unbuttoned and peeled the shirt off of his taller counterpart. Curious, cold fingers danced over the rock hard muscle, committing the way they felt to memory. Claude's hands had none of the grace that Alois' had, as he practically ripped the shirt off of his small body. His hands roamed over every inch of the heated skin, and he groaned from how soft it was. How he wanted to mark this skin as his.

Pressing and grinding his hips into Alois, he drew a breathy moan from the youth. The blond dragged his nails roughly down the chiseled chest, fingers brushing against the hem of the taller male's trousers. _Finally,_ he thought. _This is it. We're going to have sex!_ Shaking digits slipped the button out of its hole before a chilled hand slipped inside. The cold touch to his throbbing need finally snapped Claude to his senses. He hurriedly pulled away from his boyfriend, leaping back from the bed. His golden eyes were wild as he took in the look of shock on Alois' flushed face. Shock quickly melted into hurt, and the blond pulled his knees into his chest, feeling the unwanted tears well up in his eyes.

Claude was torn between wanting to sate his lust and ravishing his younger counterpart, and the need to wait, to prove to him that he wanted more than his body. With a decision that tore him up, he turned away and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind himself. He leaned against the cold door, gasping for air. A glance at the mirror showed his disheveled appearance. All his work toward proving his feelings for the azure eyed male were genuine had almost been thrown away. If he hadn't stopped, he would have reaffirmed to him that all he was worth was sex, nothing more. Claude could not do that to his little dove.

The sound of sniffling hiccups echoed around the dark bedroom. They had been so close, _so close,_ and yet Claude had stopped once again. Alois was heartbroken. Why? Hadn't his boyfriend proved many times over that he cherished the blond? Wasn't he satisfied that his point had been proven, that Alois could see how much love Claude had for him? He must not have realised that this was the reassurance that Alois needed. This would seal the deal; he would know for certain that Claude wanted him, every part of him, even if he were soiled goods. A whimpering sob left his trembling lips, and he closed his eyes tightly, trying to stop the tears.

Before he could cave in on himself in sorrow, Alois quickly searched for his cellphone, desperate to reach out to his best friend. He scrolled through his contacts, quickly finding Ciel's number, and shot him a short text. _SOS: we need a girl's night. Soon._ Ciel's reply of "tomorrow" came quick, easing some of Alois' heartache. Tomorrow, he would see his best friend. He would see how he was doing, and maybe he could help shed some light on his situation with Claude.

Curling up in his cold bed, he let his tears slowly fall until they dried up, before falling asleep, still half-dressed. Claude spent the night in the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: Did you enjoy it loves? I hope you did, I worked hard on this, and SebasuchansKitten helped me with the overall plot, because I was stuck on how to proceed. Give them lots of love and thanks~ I'm going to take this time to tell you all how much I appreciate and love each and every one of you. Review/comment or not, you are important. I thank you for all the support you have offered me and this work, and without you, I wouldn't be this far, and still going. Thank you!
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy


	17. Act XVII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, I need everyone to show SebasuchansKitten a massive amount of love. I kept them up all night, reading and editing these chapters. I feel quite bad about it, but it just goes to show what an amazing person they are. I could not ask for a better beta, or a better friend. If you have to show any thanks or gratitude to someone for these chapters, let it be that sweet kitten. Now, onto this chapter. It is mainly focused on Sebastian and Ciel. There is angst (of course), but there is also some fluff, and yes, there is delicious smut. I hope you all love this chapter, as I worked hard on it, and SebasuchansKitten went above and beyond with editing and fixing my errors. I'm done holding you up, please enjoy~
> 
> Warnings: Angst, alcoholic consumption, tobacco use, depression, wreckless driving, and depraved smut.

**Act XVII**

The bedroom was clouded with smoke of constantly burning cigarettes; an ashtray sat upon the night stand, filled to overflowing with discarded butts and surrounded by flecks of ash that had just missed it. The smell of mentholated cigarettes was so pungent that it was a wonder the sole occupant could even breathe. Clothes were strewn about, the bed was in disarray, and bundled within the nest of blankets, sheets, and pillows, lay Ciel. Dried tears coated his cheeks and made his skin twitch with persistent itching, though he had no energy to drag himself from the room to wash his face. Why bother when a fresh set of tears would soon slip down his pale cheeks, and dry there when he had no more left? 5 days had passed since Sebastian had walked out of his front door, leaving him with an apology stuck in his throat. The guilt that consumed him once his senses came back to him was nauseating; depression weighed on his chest, heavy as an elephant. His royal blue eyes gazed blankly at the stars on his ceiling, seeing but not seeing, as his mind once again circled back to that night.

Seeing the look of hurt wavering over Sebastian's face absolutely ate at him. Such all consuming pain... was it a mixture of the deep wound so freshly inflicted upon his shoulder that caused his face to wrench up, or had it been all that Ciel had screamed at him? Hell, Ciel couldn't even remember all that he said; he knew it must have been terrible to hear. Just thinking of the wound that seeped crimson, the blood trailing down Sebastian's arm, induced a throbbing pain in Ciel's wounded hand, which radiated up his arm. He had half-assedly bandaged it after cleansing it, but hadn't bothered to change the gauze. If he were to get an infection and die, it would be a blessing on this world.

The flick and fluttering glow of a lighter springing to life danced over Ciel's pallid skin as he lit yet another cigarette. He took a deep drag, wincing as the smoke burned his dry throat. The boy was, simply put, looking worse and worse each day. He wouldn't eat, barely slept; he barely dragged himself out of his bed to piss or get more water. The only reason he drank anything was because smoking made him intensely thirsty. At least it suppressed his appetite. He felt positively disgusting, and his stomach cramped with the pain of having no sustenance in it. It was a self-inflicted punishment, for harming Sebastian, physically and verbally. Ciel doubted that he would ever forgive himself.

He had lost track of time, not caring enough to actually check, though his bladder screamed at him to be emptied. With a sigh, he put out his cigarette haphazardly before kicking out of his cocoon and rolling out of his warm bed. Dragging his feet into the kitchen, he poured himself another glass of water, taking a massive drink, his bladder protesting. Another heavy sigh pulled from his lips, and his dainty feet padded slowly, softly, to his bathroom. Feeling like he had pissed for years, he flushed the toilet after relieving himself, and washed his hands. It was times like these when he wished it was possible for him to get completely trashed, not that he hadn't tried. Booze would have taken the edge off, made his thoughts murky... but then again, maybe it would make him feel worse.

It must have been dusk; the apartment was darker than it was when the sun shined, though he kept all the blinds and curtains shut, allowing for little light to begin with. Ciel leaned against the bathroom counter, staring down at his sweat-caked, filthy body. He decided to finally draw the line. It was time to take a fucking shower.

The hot water felt good on his fragile body, washing away all the filth accumulated on his skin from the past few days. Though it could not wash away his thoughts or feelings, it did lift the heavy weight from his shoulders... fractionally. After his shower, he slowly climbed out, drying himself off as fast as a snail crawled. Once back in his den of depression, he dressed in boxers, leggings, and a baggy shirt. It was one of Sebastian's shirts, one he kept here for the nights that he stayed over, and it made Ciel's heart hurt. The soft fabric still smelled of him, and even though it hung like a dress on his skinny frame, he refused to take it off.

This apartment reminded him so much of Sebastian, he began to feel trapped. The anxiety gripped his heart with iron fingers, and the need to escape overwhelmed him. Before he knew what he was doing, he was outside and halfway down the rickety staircase. He had no shoes on his feet, but he didn't care. It wasn't like Ciel would go far, he would just walk around his apartment complex enough times for him to become exhausted. Hopefully then, a dreamless sleep would overtake him. Hopefully then, he wouldn't be haunted by Sebastian.

* * *

Soot's persistent meowing as she rubbed against Sebastian's legs drew him out of his drunken stupor. The kitten-or rather, cat-had been a lovely distraction, though she couldn't take his mind fully off of Ciel. Sebastian could still smell him, taste him, see the feral rage in his eyes as his body shook. He had been frighteningly beautiful, had raised the need in him to comfort and calm the storm of feelings felt inside such a tiny body. With a weary sigh, Sebastian set down his glass of tequila and picked up his preening cat. Soot immediately kick-started her purr machine, nuzzling his face and licking his fingers. He murmured sweet nothings at her as he ruminated on the fact that he had been drinking tequila. It was the same thing he had brought to Ciel's place, the same thing that broke and cut into Ciel's dainty hand, as well as his shoulder. With a frown, Sebastian looked over at his shoulder. It had been healing nicely; he was half-tempted, in his drunken haze, to remove the stitches himself. He hated hospitals, absolutely loathed doctors, yet he had had no choice but to seek professional medical care, the wound was so deep.

His thoughts traveled back to the blae-haired youth. Was his hand okay? Was the cut deep or shallow? Did he take care of it properly? The thoughts of Ciel were overwhelming him, eating at him, and for the umpteenth time, he thought about going to visit his little spitfire. How he desperately wanted to, but he feared that, that was the last thing that Ciel wanted. The other male hadn't called or texted him in 5 days: it was possibly driving Sebastian to the brink of madness.

Making up his mind, Sebastian exited his kitchen and practically ran for the door. Slipping his feet into a random pair of shoes, not caring if they matched, he fled his house, barely taking the time to snag his keys and lock the door. He was in his car at lightning speed, firing it to life and peeling out of his driveway. Sebastian drove like a madman, Soot still clutched to him. The kitten meowed, the sound a mix between frightened and excited at the prospect of an adventure. Sebastian flew through traffic lights, not stopping at any of the commanding stop signs. All he knew was that he had to get to Ciel, and he had to get there now.

* * *

Ciel was clutching his phone; the cold was biting into him, piercing all the way through his skin, and settling in his bones. He hadn't thought to put on a jacket, yet he didn't want to head back inside just yet. So the cold continued to prickle at his skin, shivers wracking his body. How he wanted to see Sebastian, to apologize to him. It was agonizing torture not to call or text him, yet he refused to apologize over any medium rather than in person. He wished, for the billionth time, that he knew where his tall counterpart lived. But he didn't, and so he had to wait until Sebastian came to him. If he ever would again. The thought that he would never see Sebastian again outside of work ripped his chest wide open once more. It felt like a physical wound-it ached, throbbed, even hurt to breathe. Ciel had no idea how he could continue to live like this _, feeling_ so intensely that it drove him to the brink of insanity and back. Tears once again welled in his eyes, and as they fell, the cold stung at the saline trails, making the youth worry his bottom lip between his teeth to stifle any sobs that dared try to slip through.

Just as the short, shivering youth was circling back to the front of his apartment, the sound of car tires squealing into the parking lot made him freeze. His wide blue eyes followed the bright headlights, landing upon a sleek black Mercedes, one he would recognize anywhere. The bewildered blae-haired man knew it was Sebastian's car, but what in heaven's name was it doing driving like a bat out of hell into his apartment complex?

The purr of the engine died down as the driver's side door flew open. Sebastian was a sight to behold, like an avenging demon, he jumped out of his car and barrelled towards Ciel, a black kitten clutched in one of his arms. She squirmed, meowing and wriggling free, landing on the asphalt with a huff. She sat down, staring with her eyes reflecting in the dim light of a street lamp as Sebastian stopped in front of Ciel, breathing heavily.

Ciel stared up at Sebastian, confusion warring with joy at seeing his taller counterpart in the flesh."Is this a dream?" he whispered breathily, still trembling, yet the cause was now the object of his obsession's presence rather than the cold.

Before he could react, Sebastian closed the distance between them, his arms encircling the youth and pulling him into an embrace. His hot lips seared Ciel's frozen ones, igniting a response in the youth, his heart thumping out of control. The kiss was short, yet full of emotion. Once broken, the vermillion-eyed male clutched tighter to the daintier one, breathing in the scent of his hair, his skin. It felt like coming home after enduring hell. Ciel was also sucking in air through his nose, inhaling the intoxicating scent that screamed _Sebastian_. He could hardly believe this wasn't a dream.

Sebastian pulled back slightly to gaze down upon the tear-streaked face of his counterpart, his hands sliding up so that his thumbs could wipe away the sadness before once again wrapping around him.

"God, Ciel," he murmured, his voice full of torturous anguish. "You have no idea..." He brought his lips down once again on the younger male's, tasting him and relishing in it, like an addict getting his first fix after going through withdrawal. His tongue worked it's way inside, tangling with the other's and exploring the familiar moist cavern like it had been just yesterday that they shared a kiss. When they broke it off to breathe, Sebastian pressed his forehead against Ciel's, his voice soft as a gentle breath. "I missed you..."

A hiccuping half-laugh, half-sob wrenched from Ciel's throat as he pushed himself closer to Sebastian, his body fitting perfectly against his. "Understatement of the fucking century," he whispered. A soft meow and the feeling of a small creature startled the royal blue-eyed male. He pulled back slightly and look down at the furry black creature _. "Is that a cat?"_ he asked stupidly.

Chuckling, Sebastian smirked and released Ciel to pick up the shivering ball of fur. "It is. Her name is Soot." Blinking twice, Ciel shook his head with a sigh, turning and heading for his apartment without a glance back. He said nothing, nor did he look over his shoulder; he knew Sebastian was trailing after him.

* * *

Soot turned out to be a welcome addition; she curled up at the foot of the bed, her constant purring a comforting sound. Ciel and Sebastian lay, tangled together and sprawled across the bed, staring up at the glowing plastic stars stuck to the ceiling. A large hand gently stroked the blae locks, and dainty fingers traced meaningless patterns over the firm skin of a large chest. Ciel broke the silence, breathing the words into Sebastian's skin. "I'm so sorry."

The older male shook his head, his arm tightening around the youth's waist as if to pull him closer, his other hand still petting the kitten-soft locks. "You've no need to be sorry. I wasn't mad, I just... I didn't know how to help you, I felt so powerless." The rumbling of his voice in his chest soothed Ciel, though he still chewed on his bottom lip.

"I just. I guess I don't know what we're doing. I got scared..." he trailed off, a whimper trying to claw it's way out of his throat. His voice was barely a whisper as he continued. "It was so different. We had sex, but it was _different._ It felt so... so... I can't even describe it, but. It scared me, that feeling. I guess I just panicked, and tried to push you away. I don't know what we have, or where it's going, and everything I'm feeling, the uncertainty of it all. Everything just weighed on me until I just snapped.

"I feel so guilty. I hurt you. I hurt you, more than I can even fathom, and that _hurts me_. And I don't understand why..." he let his words die on his lips, his skin itching with worry as his chest tightened with anxiety.

It was quiet once more, as Ciel waited for a response, and Sebastian thought over his words. His mind had become clearer, sobered up as soon as he saw the dainty male, standing in the glare of his car's headlights, his cheeks glistening with trails of tears as they dripped off of his chin. Everything had melted away then; all the worry, all of the depressing thoughts, all of the pain, disappearing at the sight of his infatuation greeting him like an angel of sorrow. Sebastian stopped caring that Ciel had tried to force him away, had caused him pain, emotional and physical. How had he been able to stay away from him for so long? He was drawn to him like a magnet, the gravitational pull too great to fight.

"I like you," the words fled his lips, so matter-of-factly, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Sebastian felt Ciel jerk in his arms, his head raising up to look at him, his face bewildered. Several seconds passed before a squeaked _"what?"_ flew out of him.

Looking into eyes, as blue and deep as the ocean, the older male offered no hesitation as he repeated. "I like you. Honestly, I had no idea what we had going on. When I had first saw you, up on that stage, in all your passionate glory as you acted out that scene... I was enthralled, bewitched by you. No one has ever been able to pique my interest as fast or fully as you managed to in 3 minutes. Yes, at first, I wanted you, sexually.

"But as I got to know you, I wanted to see all of you, exposed, every emotion, every thought you'd ever had. I wanted to know you. What we had, hell, even I don't know. And yet still, I like you. I don't know how, or when, or why. I didn't even know I was capable of liking someone. I'm barely capable of friendship, or maintaining it. I haven't even talked to my closest friend in years. I'm so _fucked up_. I'm damaged, I don't know how to _feel_ anything except anger and hate, and yet, you make me feel things that are different. Things I don't understand and can't put a name to, things that scare me, but I can't help but want to be near you, to inhale your scent, to watch your expressions... I can't help but be drawn to you. I want to know you. I want to be here, with you in my arms, because as broken as we are, _we fit together."_

Ciel was stunned; he felt a rush of emotions: fear, happiness, emotions he couldn't even give a name to. His breath caught in his throat, and he licked his lips to wet them. "I-I..." He shook his head, trying to reorganize his brain as Sebastian looked at him patiently with those vermillion eyes. His cheeks flamed with color as he looked down, away, anywhere but at his face. "I like you, too..." he breathed, the words barely leaving his lips.

Sebastian flipped them over so quickly, Ciel didn't even know it was happening until he was on his back. He felt the long, lean body pressing into him and he shivered in delight, relishing in the intimate contact.

"Soot, out," Sebastian barked, and the cat, startled from sleep, huffed and fled the room, meowing her displeasure. "Now that we don't have an audience..."

"Oh, yes. Wouldn't want to scandalize a fucking feline," Ciel said snarkily, rolling his eyes.

Sebastian didn't allow him to be snide for long; he silenced him with his mouth, his large hands trailing fire down his counterpart's sides as his talented tongue dragged a pleased moan from his lips. It had been much too long; he had to feel him, be inside him, make him call out his name. Clothing was shed quickly as he broke the kiss, leaving the blae-haired youth panting for air, his eyes darkening with lust. Ciel whined with impatience, his body shifting wildly beneath the taller male's as he ripped at his underwear, wanting them off right in that very moment. His legs curled around Sebastian's hips as soon as the offending piece of clothing had been removed, pulling him closer. His nails raked against pale skin, an impatient moan dancing on his tongue. The not-so-gentle scratching caused his counterpart to shiver and dig his own fingers into slender hips.

Ciel tried to buck and writhe, but Sebastian held him in place, his erect dick teasingly brushing against his puckered and hungry hole."Don't you fucking tease me," the youth snarled, his eyes glaring up into hooded vermillion eyes.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Sebastian growled as he pushed his length slowly into him, relishing in the feeling of being sucked in. Ciel was tighter than normal after being virginal for the days they were apart, and a half-pained whimper ripped from his throat as he arched his back. This caused his counterpart to pause, which only brought an angry hiss from the youth. "Don't you dare hold back. I need you, right now. Fuck me." Another whine and the whimpered begging word of _please_ repeated over and over until Sebastian couldn't take it. He slammed his dick the rest of the way in, burying himself to the hilt in the warm entrance.

A groaned, _"fuck"_ flew from his lips, his fingers tightening into a bruising hold on those dainty hips, keeping Ciel from rutting and bucking wildly against him in order to get some kind of friction. Curling digits flailed over his fiery skin, scratching, kneeding, gripping into biceps and biting into flesh. As Sebastian pulled out, leaving only the head in, before slamming back fully, a keening moan ripped from Ciel. His body trembled as the throbbing dick began to abuse his insides, leaving him empty only to fill him back up once more. The frenum piercing rubbed against the sensitive walls, causing screaming moans and expletives to tumble from pale lips. The head of Sebastian's dick brushed against that little bundle of nerves, and Ciel's eyes rolled back, his whole body shuddering with pleasure. The older male picked up his pace, twisting his hips to abuse the blae-haired youth's prostate from a new angle. This brought louder moans and expletives from Ciel, his voice becoming raw with wanton screaming.

Sebastian's body trembled from the exertion, the familiar feeling of a building orgasm coiling in his lower stomach. Ciel tossed his head back, his limbs thrashing wildly as his legs tightened around Sebastian to help him penetrate deeper.

" _Sebastian_ ," the youth nearly screamed, his counterpart's name coming out in broken moans as his wildly bobbing dick shot pent-up cum; it splattered all over, droplets landing on Ciel's sweaty cheeks and covering his and Sebastian's chest. The spastic tightening of the abused hole, and incoherent babbling of his name was Sebastian's undoing. The knot in his lower stomach uncoiled, and his dick spasmed as it emptied his seed, filling up Ciel and causing him to shiver at the familiar warmth spreading inside him. His counterpart slowly milked himself until his length softened and slipped out, shaking arms barely holding himself up. Ciel's trembling legs slowly unwound themselves from around Sebastian's sweat-slicked body, allowing him to fall next to him. They spent what felt like hours lying next to each other, catching their breath and riding out their orgasms. After the sweat dried on their skin, and their temperatures dropped, Ciel found himself curling up half on top of Sebastian as his long arms curled around him possessively. The feeling of being so close to him, of feeling his breath rustle his hair, was comforting. He had missed this so much; he felt so safe, like he could finally sleep without having nightmares. Ciel had begun to drift off, but Sebastian's rumbling, velvet voice roused him.

"You've cum on your face," he murmured, and the blue-eyed male lifted his heavy head to weakly glare daggers at his vermillion-eyed counterpart. Sebastian leaned forward, his tongue darting out to lick away the drying flecks of white, a pleased hum rolling in his throat.

Ciel rolled his eyes before plopping his head back down with a huff. He had no energy to talk, and as soon as his head hit Sebastian's chest, he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Sebastian lay awake, his mind turning over their conversation again and again in his head. He had no idea what they were getting themselves into, what they had already gotten themselves into, yet he couldn't find it in himself to care. He had already admitted to himself that he could not be away from Ciel, and he refused to even try. He was here to stay, for better or worse, tangled up in whatever they had between them. The sound of padding feet, and a slight dip in the mattress announced Soot's presence. She slowly climbed onto a pillow and curled up right next to Sebastian's head, the sounds of her incessant purring lulling him to sleep.

Time could only tell just what they had decided to get into, the spider's thread that connected them tangling around them, drawing them ever closer...

* * *

Ciel slept like the dead for little over an hour, but the feeling of semen oozing out of his ass roused him from sleep. He woke with an irritated frown, huffing in distaste as his nose wrinkled. _Disgusting_ , he thought. He lifted his head up from Sebastian's chest, looking up to see that he was fast asleep, with his cat Soot curled up halfway on top of his head. Ciel snorted and rolled his eyes, squirming free from his counterpart's hold on him and slipping from the bed. He half-waddled, half-lipped to the bathroom, clenching his ass shut so that cum wouldn't leak down his leg any more than it already had. It was one of the most unpleasant feelings, and he was sure that he would never get used to it.

He shut the door silently, wetting a washcloth with warm water and cleaning every fleck of cum off of his skin. He gave himself a quick birdbath, his eyes drawn to the angry-looking bruises on his hips. He wanted to keep frowning, but a tiny smirk at the marks on his skin made his chest swell tightly. Sebastian had left them, not purposefully, and he felt as though it were a reminder for the amazing sex they had just had. They would fade over time, which seemed to bring conflicting emotions up. Shrugging them off, he flicked the light off and left the bathroom. As he trailed towards the kitchen, feeling violently thirsty, the sound of his ringtone for Alois going off made him take a detour into his room. He grabbed his phone, entering the hallway once more and taking the familiar route to his kitchen as he tapped through to the message Alois had left.

"SOS: we need a girl's night. Soon." was all that it said, causing Ciel to furrow his brows in worry. It was such a short text, and normally Alois sent him several walls of text, so it was quite unlike him. Something must have happened to upset his best friend, and he quickly shot a reply of _tomorrow_. Chewing harshly on his lip, he leaned against the counter, glass in hand, as he wondered what could possibly be weighing on Alois. If he had to guess, it probably had something to do with Claude. He drank his water in silence, but the sound of footsteps made him turn his head towards the entryway.

Sebastian appeared, looking groggy, with Soot trailing at his feet, grumbling haughtily at being awoken. "I woke up because you weren't there."

Setting down his glass, Ciel padded over to Sebastian, taking his hand and leading him back to the bedroom. "Sorry, I was thirsty. Let's go back to sleep."

The older male didn't put up a fight as he let Ciel guide him back into bed, and he tugged him down into his arms. Sebastian's last conscious thought was of how interesting it was that he couldn't sleep unless the blae-haired spitfire was in his arms. With worry for Alois on his mind, Ciel drifted in and out of sleep until his exhausted body forced him to close his eyes and tugged him into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: The editing process took so very long, especially because SebasuchansKitten and I do not have the same writing programs. There were a lot of formatting issues, as well at the italics disappearing when trasfered betwen our two programs. However, I believe this story is becoming better than I had ever imagined, and it is all with their help. What did all my little doves and sweet kittens think of this chapter? Are you all quite happy that there was not only an update so soon, but that it was two chapters? The next chapter is going to focus mainly on Ciel and Alois; those two brats need to spend some quality girl time with each other. They've been too consumed in their own lives, and now it's time for them to pull their head's out of their respective asses and talk. They both could use some outside input. Oh, and in the future I plan to do a few flashback chapters of Ciel's past. I hope that it's the kind of thing that interests you all (though even if it didn't, I would still write them because this story needs that to show character develop thus far). Till next time~
> 
> Kisses, Ritsy


	18. Act XVIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, here is the finally complete, illusive 18th chapter. I know I've made some promises, and that I have also broken them. All I can offer is my sincere apologies. My life feels very hectic and out of my control, and while it would be a wondrous thing to be able to update once a week, I'm not sure that is possible for me, especially when I start doubting my writing capabilities. This chapter took me a very long time to finish, and I wasn't exactly sure how I wanted it to go until I sat down today and just threw myself into it. I hope you all enjoy it, and give many thanks to my goldfish SebasuchansKitten, without whom this would have gone unedited. It is perhaps the longest chapter of this story yet, though there is still no end in sight, so that position might be usurped by a future chapter. I cannot thank you all enough for your support, I appreciate each and every one of you so very much. All right, enough of my psychobabbling; you've all waited long enough for this update, and who am I to keep it from you any longer? Enjoy~
> 
> Warnings: Hella angst, severe depression, doughnut consumption, mentions of starvation, and (terrible) smut.

Ciel awoke with a start, shooting up into an upright position, his blue eyes wide. Fear crept into his stomach as he looked around his room, not seeing any signs of Sebastian. Had it all been a dream? He dropped his head into his hands, biting down hard on his bottom lip, the aching chasm in his chest threatening to return with a menacing throb. Dread swept over him, but before the tidal wave of depression could crash down on him and drag him into the depths of despair, the scent of bacon tickled his nose. Slowly, he lifted his head, gazing at his cracked bedroom door; the sound of a tinkling bell made his ears twitch, and when the door pushed a little wider and the head of a black cat peeked in, relief washed over Ciel. It hadn't been a dream. Sebastian was here.

That thought alone spurred Ciel out of bed, and as he jumped from the mattress, sheets still twisted around his legs, he stumbled and caught himself. Shaking the offending linen from his person, he opened the door completely and reached down to scoop up Soot. Her purr machine kicked into high gear, and he rubbed behind her ears, murmuring sweet words to the little cat. Though Ciel was not all that fond of cats, Soot's presence soothed him, because she was Sebastian's. Practically dancing into the kitchen, the youth allowed a smile to grace his lips at the sight of his taller counterpart. He was clad only in boxers, and was busy preparing what looked like a feast. The array of foods produced a mouthwatering perfume when they mixed together in midair, and his stomach growled ferociously in response to the taunting aroma. The sound startled Sebastian, and he turned around, vermillion eyes blinking twice, before a smile lit up his face. It was so beautiful that it made Ciel's heart squeeze, and he began worrying his lip between his teeth with renewed fervor.

"Ah, good morning," he mumbled, almost shyly, as he looked down at his legs. With a jolt he realised that he was still naked, but upon further thought, he really didn't care. It wasn't like Sebastian hadn't gotten up close and personal with his body. No need to be self-conscious.

"Morning, kitten," Sebastian practically purred, plucking Soot from Ciel's arms and nuzzling her, pretending as though he had been talking to the cat.

Ciel scoffed, looking flustered as his cheeks flamed and words escaped him. His counterpart smirked deviously, letting his cat jump from his arms before he wrapped them around the youth and pulled him close.

"I meant you," he hummed, breathing in the fragrance of the tinier male. A sigh of delight passed his lips and he murmured with content, "you smell good."

This made Ciel even more flustered, and he began flailing, trying to worm his way out of the stronger man's grasp. Though he too was drawing in deep breaths of Sebastian's essence, letting it intoxicate him. He allowed himself to relax into the embrace for a few moments, before easing himself back to look up at the vermillion-eyed man.

Ciel smiled slightly, then began worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. "So, Alois texted me last night. I'm going to be spending some time with him today..." An unspoken search for permission hung in the air, as if asking Sebastian if this was okay.

"That sounds fun, kitten. Do you have time for breakfast, at least?" Sebastian asked, giving his trademark smirk to hide his worry over how thin his counterpart had gotten. Sure, Ciel had always been thin, but now he felt as though he could play the shorter male's ribs like a xylophone, and his hip bones jutted out sharply against his pale skin. He pulled his hands away, turning back towards the stove to prepare a plate for Ciel. He didn't want to draw his attention to his deteriorated frame and make him feel self-conscious.

At the mention of food, Ciel's stomach growled ravenously, and it hit him that he hadn't eaten for 5 days. His body was practically withering away, and he looked positively emaciated. Hiding his discomfort with his own body, he curled an arm around his frail waist and trailed after Sebastian, his nose tickled with all of the delectable aromas. He had no idea where the taller male had gotten all this food, as the last he had checked, his refrigerator had been sorely lacking in anything edible. He must have run out to grab some groceries.

As Sebastian placed food on a plate, he took into consideration that Ciel must not have eaten for several days, and not wanting to overwhelm his stomach or cause him to be sick, the portions he served were quite small. Ciel drifted over to the kitchen table, pulling out a chair and sitting down. He pulled his legs up, crossing them in front of him and waited for his plate. Soot had followed him over, her tiny meow drawing his attention to the floor.

With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, he beckoned the tiny cat. "Come up here, then." Soot didn't hesitate; she launched herself at him, landing on his leg. Ciel couldn't help the tiny smile that pulled at the corner of his lips as he gently stroked her head. She purred like a chainsaw, but it was nowhere near annoying. In fact, it was quite endearing.

He almost jumped out of his skin as Sebastian set the plate in front of him. His stomach cramped painfully at the promise of food, and Ciel wasted no time. He dug in, practically inhaling the bacon. It was so fucking good. Too soon, though, he started to feel full. Setting his fork down, he dejectedly looked at his plate. He had probably eaten half of his eggs, and one whole pancake, but at least he had eaten all his bacon.

Sebastian sipped his coffee, studying Ciel's plate from the other side of the table. He was pleasantly surprised at how much he had eaten, considering how much his stomach had to have shrunk. Even though he hadn't finished his plate, it was a good start to working his way back up to eating properly. Seeing how fast Ciel's health had deteriorated, Sebastian made the decision to spend as much time as he could with his counterpart, monitoring his food intake and making sure he maintained his constitution. As the youth pushed his plate away, the sanguine-eyed male stood, taking the dish away; he dumped the remainder into the trash bin before washing it off in the sink and adding it to the dishwasher.

Ciel placed Soot on the ground, standing and hesitating in the small dining area, his eyes on Sebastian, his bottom lip still being worried between his teeth. Curling his arms around his waist, he stepped toward the other, worry tainting his delicate face.

"Will you still be here when I've come back?" He asked, his voice a quiet murmur.

Sebastian looked up from cleaning the mess he had made, his eyes softening to a gentle smolder as he offered a genial smile. "Of course I shall be. And so shall Soot." The cat meowed at the sound of her name, prancing over to her owner and looking up at him with charming silver eyes. "Perhaps I will run some errands whilst you are gone; I need to get my poor girl some necessities."

The youth nodded his head in agreement, though he did not make a sound. He was not too keen on letting Sebastian know that the black kitten was a welcomed addition to his apartment. As loath as he was to admit it, he had quite the fondness for her, surprising as he quite detested the four-legged, furry, allergen-producing creatures. Try as he might to give the little thing a scathing look when she rubbed up against his leg, he could not seem to stop his expression from softening into an incredibly sweet look.

The sound of Sebastian snickering at the sight snapped Ciel out of his reverie, and with a mordacious look, he spun on his heel and huffed. "I'm going to go get ready," he barked, his tone possessing the edge of a blade, proceeding to stomp off like a precocious child towards his room. This only brought a more boisterous laugh from the infuriatingly handsome man, making Ciel slam his door in a huff.

He turned away from the offending wooden portal, his large royal blue orbs glaring at the mess he called a bedroom. It looked as if about 5 tornadoes had torn through the small space; clothes were scattered about, forming piles that seemed as tall as mountains; the bed was in absolute disarray, the fitted sheets torn from the corners of the mattress and wrinkling up horrendously, while the comforter lay draped haphazardly onto the floor. It was very evident what had taken place in that bed; Ciel was quite surprised that it was still left standing, with how forcefully they fucked. The frame was not left unscathed, as there were several ominous cracks in the oak headboard, perhaps from Sebastian using it to gain leverage so that he could abuse his famished entrance more thoroughly.

Shaking the sexual thoughts from his head, Ciel turned away from the bed, not desiring to get hard so early in the morning, especially when he had prior engagements to attend to. With a determined set in his shoulders, he began digging through the precarious heaps of his garments, searching for something resembling clean to wear without upsetting the entire mountain and ending up buried. It took a few minutes, but the young male found a pair of black skinny jeans and a baggy old shirt, riddled with holes from overuse. What excuse could he give? The clothing that he had such a fondness for would be worn until they were positively falling off of his body.

With the task of getting dressed completed, he shot a quick text at his bipolar best friend, letting him know that he was on his way to get him. After sliding on his socks, he slipped his dainty feet into a pair of worn high-top Converse, taking his time to lace them. Soon, he was out the door, phone, keys, and a pack of cigarettes in hand. He bounced down the stairs, thinking about how long it had been since he had actually talked to Alois, let alone looked at him. He wanted to say that distancing himself from the blond had been a good thing for the both of them; that way, neither of them would stick their noses into each other's business, and they could go about their lives as happily—or unhappily—as they desired. In all honesty, Ciel was feeling quite excited to see his friend; he had been withdrawing from him so much lately that he missed him sorely. It would be good to spend some time with Alois, even if the cause of it was of an unhappy sort. The youth slid into his car, started it up, and peeled out of the apartment complex.

* * *

Last night, Alois had shut off Claude's alarm, so that he would not wake in the morning and question him relentlessly on his plans. Instead, the blond youth was able to get ready and out the door in morose silence, left alone to his disconsolate thoughts. Sitting on his porch steps as he waited for Ciel to arrive, phone clutched tightly in his hand, he let his mind ruminate on everything that was pulling him deeper and deeper into a sickening, smothering desolation.

Depression cut like a blade, from the inside out; it was a dull, blood-stained edge, constantly ripping and tearing him apart. Where his heart should be, he felt instead a tremendous, terrible black hole, sucking him deeper into the atramentous water; it stole his ability to breathe, crushed him beneath a mighty wave that refused to dissipate no matter what he could have done. It left him breathless and in a horrendous agony; it was so much more than sadness, more gruesome than dysphoria. If only he could cry, wash away this pain with his saline tears, yet it was an impossible feat for him to even shed a single droplet. No matter how much he fought, he could not claw his way out. Which way was out? He was no longer even sure what way was up or down; all he knew was that watching others prance around in their safe, waterproof bubbles of happiness brought him such anguishing sickness that he thought his stomach would heave and reject what little contents it possessed.

Just as Alois began to fear that his depression would swallow him whole, never to be spit back out again, the familiar growl of Ciel's car broke through. Looking up with deadened aquamarine eyes, he saw the old car pulling up to his driveway, and felt as though he could breathe once again. His load of emotions lifted off of him just enough that he could move; he stood on tremulous legs, staggering his way to the passenger side. His shaking fingers hooked onto the handle and pulled upward and out, opening the door wide enough for him to collapse into the soft leather seat. It seemed to take all of his strength to lift his legs into the car and shut the door, but he somehow managed. How could he even think to move when all he wanted to do was lie down and disappear forever into sleep?

Although Ciel could very well see that Alois was in terrible shape, he did not comment on it, instead backed out of the drive and turned easily into the street. "Put on your seatbelt, baby. We're going to go get coffee and doughnuts, and we're going for a drive."

Licking his parched lips, Alois swallowed hard and made a query. "Where are we driving to?" His voice trembled with a held back sob, his body shrinking into the seat and trying to find solace in his friend's presents.

"Anywhere but here," was Ciel's only reply, and it seemed to comfort the blond.

The youth stopped at a Dunkin' Donuts, getting them both a large coffee and a box of various doughnuts; Ciel wasn't picky, he just told the server to throw whatever he felt like into a box. They would all get eaten anyway. Seeing Alois as an emotional wreck did not settle well in his stomach, and his worry was beginning to flare up; sure, the blond was manic and bipolar, but he had never seen his best friend this depressed in his life. Well, he would fix that right up with sweets and a long talk, and he would keep driving until everything was resolved.

After he got back to the car, he passed the box of doughnuts and a coffee to Alois, who quickly set the scalding liquid into a cup holder and tore open the container. He scanned the contents, quickly settling on a chocolate cake doughnut with chocolate icing. Ciel had barely gotten into the car before Alois was working on doughnut number two, hastily taking a sip of his coffee to wash it down. Once they were on the road again, a tense silence settled over them as they both munched on the delectable treats. The doughnuts slowly dwindled down to nothing as Ciel drove aimlessly, enjoying the pleasant scenery. He finished off his coffee, clearing his throat and being careful to keep his eyes on the road.

"So," he started, prompting Alois to start speaking.

The blond gazed out of the passenger window, legs curled up in his seat with his arms draped around himself as if trying to hold every single emotion he felt at bay. More silence followed, and Ciel didn't push the issue; Alois would talk when he was ready to. An hour passed before Alois dared open his mouth, but once he began talking, the words poured out of him like word vomit, and he was unable to stop.

"It's Claude," he whimpered. "I'm so fucking in love with him, Ciel, you have no idea. Thinking of being without him kills me; being apart sends my heart tearing out of my chest and onto the ground, seizing and begging to be crushed beneath the soles of someone's feet. He is everything to me, all I will ever want or need. And…" Alois trailed off, sucking in a shaky breath before continuing in a whisper. "And he won't make love to me. He has not touched me in a sexual way at all. I feel like he's disgusted by me, like I am a tainted, beastly creature, and he doesn't want to become dirtied. He knows all about my past, about all the men… He knows that countless people have been inside me, filled me up, and made my very essence unclean.

"He tells me that he loves me, that I am not a repulsive monster… If that is the case, then why won't he sleep with me? Yeah, he says he wants to wait, to show me that he desires me for more than my body. He wants to prove to me that I am more than I think I am, and that he won't use me, but…" Biting off a sob, his body trembles with the force of it, and several tears pool up and spill from his tormented orbs. Tiny droplets stick to his lashes, making them glisten in the light from the sun. Streaks of anguish trail down his face, and he tries to regain his composure enough so that he can continue.

"Claude doesn't seem to understand that the reassurance I need now is for him to show me that he desires me sexually. His abstaining is not helping me, Ciel, it's fucking hurting me. I want him to fuck me, to prove that he truly does find me as irresistible as he says. Actions speak louder than words, as the saying goes. The longer he waits to have sex with me, the more it terrorizes me, fills me with doubt, and leaves me feeling like I am undeserving of love. I don't know what to do…"

Alois breaks down into hysterical sobs, his body jerking with each whimper and cry; tear after tear glides down his face in a river of sorrow, dripping off his chin and splattering on his shirt. Ciel's hand finds his, and he clings to it like it is a lifeline, his nails digging crescents into his flesh, but the blae-haired youth doesn't seem to mind. He sits in silence, holding onto the tremulous hand while he continues to drive, offering comfort to the blond. He cries harder than he ever has in his life; his nose becomes stuffy and his head begins to ache from the incessant tears. Sniffling, he wipes his face on his sleeves, trying to steady his breathing and stop crying. Eventually, his sobs die down to hiccups, and his tears lose their steady flow. When the last droplet finally dried, a tiny sigh fled his lips, and he realised that he felt significantly better. Still holding Ciel's hand, he adjusts himself into a more comfortable position in his seat, turning to face the other male.

"You haven't snot-cried that much since we were children," Ciel states lightly, bringing a shaky giggle from the blond youth. "On a more serious note, I do understand where you are coming from. I know you, Alois; I know your insecurities and your pain, better than anyone else does.

"Claude doesn't know you like I do; and that's why you need to discuss this with him, rationally and without weakness. You have to prove to him you're ready, but not by seducing him or losing yourself in depression. He may see that you are unsure of everything, but he doesn't realise that he is the one causing it by refusing the one thing you need to prove that he's in love with you." Sapphire eyes glanced over to the passenger, taking in Alois' disheveled appearance and red-rimmed eyes. "Now, use a napkin and blow your damn nose. You're making snot bubbles over there, and it's fucking disgusting."

Barking a shocked laugh, the blond shakes his head but does as told, finally relaxing after what feels like centuries of anxiety and hopelessness. After a moment, he breathes a sigh of relief. "I really needed this. I thought I lost my best friend. I'm glad we're able to talk. I missed you."

Ciel offers an apologetic smile, his head tilting downward slightly, though his eyes remain focused on the road. "I missed you too. I just," he pauses, sighing softly. "I'm catching feelings for Sebastian, and it scares the shit out of me. I don't understand half of the things I feel for him. He infuriates me so easily, with just a few words, and yet he can turn around and make me laugh. That man should not be able to turn me on the way he does. He should be fucking illegal."

Alois snorts, rolling his eyes. "So I take it everything has been good in your little den of sin, then?"

"Well," Ciel hesitates, shame coloring his cheeks as he begins to worry his bottom lip between his teeth vigorously. "I might have, ah… stabbed him?"

The blond male blinks in shock, looking severely taken aback. "What, with your dick?"

"Fuck you, no," Ciel hisses, his cheeks becoming more enflamed with embarrassment and self-loathing. "With a shard of glass from a broken tequila bottle."

"Um, why the fuck did you do that?" Alois asks, his tone of voice rising in pitch, whether from staving off laughter or from sheer disbelief, Ciel couldn't tell.

"Because I had a 'fit', okay? I panicked. I completely lost my goddamned mind. I wanted him to leave, but he tried to touch me and, well…" he lets his words fade, switching hands on the wheel to lift up his sloppily bandaged hand. "He was trying to get the shard out of my hand, because it was cutting into me."

"Oh, Ciel… Well, is he okay?"

The blae-haired youth nods his head, a bit of relief coloring his expression. "Yeah. I guess we made up? He… he, um, told me that he likes me?" Ciel mumbled, sounding very unsure of himself.

Alois smiled brightly at his friend, reaching over to squeeze his thigh affectionately. "Sounds like progress is being made. Just don't viciously push him away, and it should all be fine."

"Easy for you to say," he grumbles huffily. Sighing, Ciel rolls his eyes, making a sudden u-turn. "We should probably head back. Knowing you, you didn't think to clue Claude in on your whereabouts, and he's losing his head at your little disappearance."

Silence fell over the small car as they headed back to town, both consumed in thoughts of their own counterparts.

* * *

It was not a stretch when Ciel said that Claude was probably losing his head; the bespectacled man was positively sick with worry when Alois finally got back home. As soon as he stepped through the door, large hands took him by the shoulders and shook slightly.

"Where the _fuck_ have you been?" Claude demanded, his voice breaking with obvious distress.

"Calm down, Claude. I was with Ciel; we went for a drive," Alois responded, his lilting voice soothing.

"Calm down? _Calm down!_ " his counterpart seethed, rage boiling in his molten gold eyes. "Did you not think to leave me a note, or hey, maybe send me a goddamn text to let me know your plans and that you're safe? I've been going fucking crazy, thinking that you were kidnapped or something! God fucking _damnit_ , Alois."

Alois bit his lip, looking up with watery cerulean eyes. "I-I'm sorry. I just… I needed to see my best friend. I wasn't thinking…"

With a shaky sigh, Claude releases his harsh grip on the youth's shoulders, curling around him and pulling him into a tight embrace. "I'm just glad that you're safe, and at home. Next time just, please, tell me where you're going, and don't just up and disappear. My little dove…"

The blond nods, clinging to the broad chest of his boyfriend, sniffling slightly. "I promise."

* * *

The sky was becoming various shades of pink and orange as the sun began to sink lower, and the warmth that had previously permeated the air began to cool down. It was late evening when Ciel finally pulled back into the apartment complex's parking lot. He eased his car into its designated spot before shutting it off and leaning his head back, closing his eyes in exhaustion. He might have fallen asleep there if not for a ravenous growl reverberating in his torso. He felt abso-fucking-lutely starving, which drew him out of the car and up the steps to his apartment. Unlocking the door easily, he entered the living room, kicking his shoes off as he shut the door behind himself. The scent of red meat sizzling hit his nostrils and he positively moaned at the appetizing aroma.

Sebastian was searing a couple steaks at the stove in the kitchen when the sound of an enticing moan tickled his ears. He pretended that he hadn't heard anything, waiting for Ciel to find his way into the kitchen, which didn't take long.

"You are an absolute fucking god," the youth moaned as he laid eyes upon the two large steaks. "How did you know I was hungry?"

Turning a glance to his counterpart, a sexy smirk curled his lips, his smoldering sanguine eyes knowing. "I had a feeling. There are also mashed potatoes, green beans, and dinner rolls."

"Fuck the potatoes, all I want is that glorious strip of bloody meat," Ciel purred, his eyes never leaving the intoxicating sight of the juicy steaks. He licked his lips, shifting from foot to foot with impatience.

Sebastian chuckled, tilting his head to the side as if in thought. "I'm not sure how good it would feel to fuck a potato. I'd rather fuck you," he stated simply, his liquid velvet voice oozing from his lips and wrapping around Ciel, causing his breath to hitch.

"Fuck you, that's not what I meant and you know it," the young male huffed, crossing his arms and pouting.

"Wonderful that you'd take me up on the offer, kitten. Shall we?" Sebastian breathed, his voice becoming husky and lowering a couple octaves.

"I—what? Oh, for fuck's sake, Sebastian!" Ciel threw his hands up in exasperation. "Will you just fucking feed me? I'm starving."

This brought laughter from his taller counterpart, who plated the perfectly seared steaks and carried them over to the already set table. "Do you want me to cut it up for you, blow on it, and make plane noises as well?"

A growl of increasing irritation rumbled in Ciel's throat as he shot a mutinous look at Sebastian. "I hate you, I _fucking_ hate you. Try any of that nonsense, and I will feed your steak to the neighbor's dogs."

Sebastian adopted the expression of faux pain, his hand coming up to his heart as a small gasp of shock fled his lips. "You wouldn't dare, you evil little tyrant."

"Keep this shit up, and I'll show you the meaning of tyrant," Ciel grumbled, making Sebastian laugh. He plopped into a chair and immediately tearing at his steak, scarfing it down. He cared not that he was being uncivilized, a droplet of the juices sliding down his chin from the corner of his mouth. The taste of the steak tantalised his tongue, making him squirm at the sheer orgasmic flavor. He devoured the whole thing in under five minutes; Sebastian wasn't even sure that he had properly chewed it. Perhaps he had unhinged his jaw like a snake and swallowed it whole. He wouldn't be surprised, because the way that Ciel was eating, he was like a wild animal. It was quite amusing to watch.

Even though he had spurned the potatoes earlier, he served himself a helping of those, as well as some of the green beans. Next he picked up a dinner roll, and after positively slathering it in butter, he shoved the whole thing into his mouth. Finally, he was full, and he leaned back in his seat, groaning pleasantly.

"That was delicious," he purred appreciatively, rubbing his stomach.

Sebastian had watched the whole time Ciel had eaten, pleased and happy that he had been able to clear his plate, although a bit unnerved at how fast he had done so. He ate his own food, albeit at a much slower rate, and was soon finished, clearing his plate. After he was done, he began clearing up the kitchen, tidying everything, and washing all the dishes that he had dirtied. Ciel even helped out, though he seemed to get in the way more than actually get anything accomplished, especially because he was a distraction.

"Tomorrow is our last day of vacation," Sebastian stated casually, eyeing the wreckage that was Ciel's apartment.

"It is," Ciel agreed, rocking back on his heels. "I'd like to relax before heading back into that hectic studio."

"I hate to disappoint you, kitten, but you won't be doing very much relaxing tomorrow. You have seen this hovel that you call an apartment, have you not?" the older male asked, his voice disapproving. He didn't wait for an answer. "We'll be cleaning tomorrow. _Deep_ cleaning."

"Fuck," was all that Ciel said in response.

* * *

Sebastian had not been lying; he dictated the whole time they scoured the house. Laundry was washed and dried, folded and put away; the kitchen was swept and mopped, and the living room was picked up and vacuumed; each and every window was cleaned until they positively sparkled, and all of the wooden and leather furniture was polished to gleaming. By the time the house was spotless, not even a speck of dust in the air, it was late evening, and all Ciel wanted to do was take a hot shower and sleep. He was not too keen on washing himself, though, since he had just spent the entire day cleaning his house.

"Sebastian," Ciel said suddenly, looking up at the tall man from his lazy perch on the couch.

"Yes, kitten?" was the response he got, as well as a lingering look that left his insides boiling and his skin feeling tight.

"I…" he hesitated, suddenly feeling quite shy. Pushing that feeling away, he cleared his throat and bit into his lip. "Take a shower with me."

That terrible, wondrous smirk curled Sebastian's lips, and he took his counterpart's hands, pulling him to his feet and leading him down the hall to the bathroom. He released his hold long enough to turn on the water and set the proper temperature before returning his long, slender fingers to Ciel's skin. They traced paths into his sweat-coated skin, running up beneath his shirt and pulling it up over his torso. Clothes were quickly shed, and both males climbed into the shower, shutting the curtain so as not to get water on the floor.

Still, Sebastian's hands remained on Ciel, unable to stop touching him. The youth trembled like a leaf beneath his cool hands, goosebumps raising on his heated flesh in their wake. His breath hitched, his sapphire orbs lidding and gazing up into the sanguine eyes of his counterpart. They seemed to burn him from the inside out, scorching his very essence with their heat and hunger. Ciel reached out his hand, fingertips dancing along Sebastian's cheekbone and down past his chin, settling on tracing his collarbone. The contented sigh it brought from the older male spurred him forth, and he curled his digits, scratching lightly against his skin with perfectly manicured nails.

The taller of the two began closing the distance between them, backing the blae-haired male into the wall. As soon as Ciel's back hit the cold linoleum, his arms slid around Sebastian's shoulders, clinging onto him as he lifted his legs up. Each slender appendage wrapped like a boa constrictor around his slim waist, bringing his hips forward so that they met with his pelvis. A shivering breath danced on Sebastian's tongue, and he braced his hands against the wall on either side of his little leech, his lips coming down to brush against the elegant, tempting neck. Light kisses were pressed against the sensitive flesh, followed soon by tongue and teeth joining the play. A musical moan rose in Ciel's chest, inspiring heat in Sebastian's lower stomach. He bit down hard on the junction between shoulder and neck, sucking harshly and swirling his tongue around the wound to soothe it. The youth arched his back, his chest pressing into his counterpart's, causing his already pert and sensitive nipples to rub against his skin, drawing a mewling gasp.

Sebastian growled, his dick stiffening with fervor, and Ciel lifted his hips, grinding his ass on the probing erection. His lips found the raven-haired male's, and as their tongues clashed and fought, tangling with each other, Sebastian thrusted his hips forward, sliding the head of his dick into the tight and greedy hole. Ciel moaned heavily, his head falling back as he digs his nails sharply into Sebastian's shoulder blades.

"Se-Sebastian," Ciel breathes, his lust-filled eyes staring up into the infuriatingly beautiful angular face of his counterpart.

Slowly, Sebastian fully sheathes himself inside of the twitching hole, his breathing hitching and losing its steadiness. "Ciel," he purrs, his voice thick with arousal. As he says his name, he pulls out until only the head is left inside, before maddeningly thrusting slowly. His pace remains leisurely, turning Ciel into a boneless puddle and drawing mewls from his lips. Tightening his arms around him so that he doesn't fall, he rolls his hips, meeting Sebastian's thrusts and impaling himself on the rock hard erection. The older male angles his hips, aiming for the bundle of nerves that he knows will make his counterpart squirm. The tip of his dick jabs into Ciel's prostate, causing him to give a long, drawn out moan.

"Oh, Sebastian," he whimpers, using his legs as leverage to slide himself up and down on the thick dick. His breaths changes to shallow pants, his body trembling from the electricity dancing through his body.

Their bodies undulate together, the sounds of languid moans echoing off of the linoleum walls. The scent of cinnamon and cloves mixes with vanilla and bergamot, creating a heady and intoxicating musk. The slow build of his climax was almost too much for Ciel to bear, and he felt as though he'd explode if he didn't come soon; but Sebastian was unrelenting in his steady rhythm, making the youth squirm against him. The coiling of the spring in his lower stomach was beginning to be too much, and a mewl of sheer need rose in his chest. Only when his climax began to climb to the point of bursting, did Sebastian slightly increase the speed and power of his thrusts. Moans fell from Ciel's lips like petals, and his body joined Sebastian's in desperation. When the coil tightened beyond the point of bearing, it finally released, and semen spurted from Ciel's untouched cock, coating their stomachs. With one more forceful thrust, Sebastian buried himself deep within his counterpart's clenching hole, filling him with his own seed. Both men stood still, gasping for breath as they rode out their orgasms together.

"Well, shall we have that shower now?" Sebastian asked, his chuckle sounding more like a sharp exhale of breath. Ciel could only nod in response, and the two lazily washed each other before turning the water off and leaving the bathroom.

As relaxing as that had been, it had eaten up quite a bit of time seeing as how Sebastian had moved maddeningly slow; they were going to have a long day ahead of them tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E/N: Well, there y'all have it, my sweet kittens and little doves. I am not happy with the smut; it just seemed clumsy and stumbled through. Alas, I'm never happy with my smut, but hopefully you all love and enjoy it. A few things to note: depression is not the same for everyone, so while you may have experienced it entirely different, the representation in this story is how it has felt to me. Depression is nothing to joke about or make light of, and if you or someone you know has depression, please, talk to someone about it. See a therapist, see a psychiatrist; tell someone, because no one should have to go through it alone. No one deserves to feel that way. I live with it every day of my life, and I will until the day I die, but it does get better. Most days are better than others, and sometimes you will have a bad day, but never give up, never quit, and keep on fighting. I don't care if it's your mum or your best friend; talking to someone about depression helps lift the weight off of your shoulders, if even a little. The load becomes easier to bear. Hell, if you feel like you have no one to talk to, I am always here; feel free to shoot me a message whenever you need or want to; I will respond. I will listen, and I will help shoulder your burden.
> 
> I apologize for sounding like an infomercial, but this is something I feel very strongly about.
> 
> Kisses and Love, Always Love, Ritsy


End file.
